Scratching the back of my head, I’m now the one turning to look at Melanie. The old Melanie would have been intimidated by the glower I’m sure I’m giving her right now. But this woman, the new and improved Melanie, is nearly bouncing with excitement. “Welcome home!” she shouts, throwing her hands in the air.
There are so many reasons I’m not sure I can walk through the front door of this building, the very least of which being that I’m positive it’s not a good idea for me to live so close to Melanie. Logically, it makes sense seeing as she has offered to help me out with Jacob until I can find a position where I won’t have to travel as often, but that’s where the benefits of living here end. I haven’t lived in an apartment since I was in college and I’m not looking forward to well-meaning neighbors who want to check in on the poor single dad who recently lost his wife. I know myself well enough to know I’m going to be one of those nosy neighbors when it comes to Melanie. I have no right, but I still feel the need to protect her. Unfortunately, every day I feel more and more like I’m the one she needs to be protected from.
Jacob starts tugging on my hand, begging me to take him inside. I’m not ready to do this. I’m not ready to face any of the belongings that were in the home I shared with Alyssa. I don’t want to deal with Jacob having reminders of our life before she died and the questions he’s bound to ask. But then, I look down and see the massive grin on his face and I wonder if it’s really him at all that I’m worried about. He’s four. Chances are he’s going to find a way to adapt to whatever is thrown at him. I’m the one who will have to find a way to climb out of the darkness that threatens to consume me on a daily basis.
“Daddy, Miss Melanie said she has surprises for us!” I scoop him into my arms, loving the happiness my boy exudes as he wraps his tiny arms around my neck. If for no other reason, I have to learn to start letting go of the pain that consumes me so I can be the father he deserves. “Do you think this is her surprise?”
Melanie and Tyler are standing off to the side, watching our interaction. I reach one hand out to Melanie, drawing her in for a hug. I’m still uncertain that this is the best idea, but I’m going to try to roll with it. “Thank you,” I whisper into her ear. She nods, placing the key to our new home into my palm. I approach the entrance with Jacob still in my arms, turning when I realize I have no clue where I’m going.
“Number sixteen, upstairs,” Tyler says before I can even ask the question. “Mel, I have to get back to the office. Why don’t you take them upstairs and then Xavier, you can swing by today or tomorrow to sign the paperwork.”
I hand Jacob and the key to Melanie so they can go inside. If I’m going to make the best of this situation, I need to start out by clearing the air with Tyler. I’m not sure if they’re as close as they used to be, but I need to do this for my own peace of mind. “Why don’t we go take care of that now?” I ask, motioning for him to lead the way.
It seems I’ve had more of these awkward moments in the past six months than I had in the first thirty years of my life. And every single one of them revolves around the failure of my relationship with Melanie. She was the first person I fell in love with, the first person I saw myself spending forever with, and the first person I walked away from. Even though I know I can’t wish that things had turned out differently, she is my greatest regret. Tyler ushers me into his office and I’m still trying to find something to say to the man who was once a fixture in my home.
“Thank you for helping Melanie arrange all of this, Tyler,” I say earnestly. Knowing that this is his complex, I’m a bit shocked that I’m welcomed here. The Tyler I knew held a grudge better than most women I know. I can’t see him opening his arms to me, even with Melanie pleading my case. Obviously, time has changed all of us.
Tyler shuffles through the stacks of paperwork on his desk, not acknowledging my remark. It’s a bit rude, but lets me know where things stand between us. He’s not doing this for me, he’s doing this because he cares about Melanie and she has a way of making people want to do things for her.
“Listen, I know I don’t owe you an explanation or an apology, but I don’t want things to be strained between us if I’m going to be your tenant.” It feels as if I’m talking to a brick wall, but I need to get the words out there if I’m truly committed to changing the way that I live. “Melanie and I have had a lot of time to talk about the way things played out between the two of us when we were together. I was wrong to turn her away the way that I did. I knew that the day after I did it, but by the time I worked up the balls to beg her forgiveness, it was too late.”