“LOOK WHO’S HERE to see you, Ethan.”
I lazily turn toward the door as Mom’s voice cuts through the antiseptic atmosphere of this hospital room. I hate it. The hum of the machines, the constant beeping of the monitors, the smell of alcohol wipes—the combination is making my head swim. I’d do anything for some fresh air to try and clear the fog I’m in.
Mom steps to the side as she enters the room and a captivating sight fills the doorway. I smile and take in the vision in front of me. Before I can manage to string a set of coherent thoughts together, she’s made her way over to the bed and thrown her arms around me in a firm yet gentle hug. Not that I’m not enjoying having her pressed against me or anything, but my eyes widen as I look at my mom. I’m not really a touchy-feely person, especially with people I don’t know.
Mom notes the confusion that must be pretty evident on my face, and the girl tenses and then leans back, looking at me. Her expression appears almost hurt, like she was expecting a hug back or something. This is awkward.
“Blair’s been so worried about you. She hasn’t been allowed in until now. I struck a deal with the nurse; she can only be in here a couple of minutes,” Mom says, watching for my reaction a little too closely.
“Oh.” I’m not sure what they’re expecting me to say; I have no idea why she’d want to be in here.
Blair moves slowly back from the bed and glances at my mom and then back to me, looking as confused as I feel.
“Ethan, you know who I am, right?” she asks scrunching her nose and causing her black hipster looking glasses to slip a little.
I shift slightly and shake my head. “Sorry, no. I have no idea, I’ve seen so many nurses come and go out of here today already.”
This is obviously not what she wanted to hear; her eyes glaze over, and she whirls around to look at my mom who’s staring at me like I’ve just grown another head.
“Sweetheart, this is Blair, your girlfriend.”
Girlfriend? I look back to Blair, who’s now wiping furiously at her eyes. Shit, she’s crying. I don’t do girlfriends, never have—I’ve always favored hook-ups; that way I can be in, out and on my way without any drama. I pinch the bridge of my nose and then chance another quick glance at her. I wish I hadn’t; my chest feels like it’s being squeezed as I take in how broken she looks.
“I, I don’t understand,” I manage but this just seems to fuel the poor girl’s upset emotional state even more.
“I’m just going to fetch a doctor,” Mom announces, leaving me here with Blair. I have no idea what to say to her. How can she be my girlfriend? I’ve never seen her before. I feel bad that I’m making her cry.
“I’m sorry,” I offer quietly. I don’t know why I’m apologizing, but it seems like the right thing to do. She gives me a sad smile, but it only makes me feel worse. She seems almost embarrassed as she lowers her gaze to the floor. I’m uncomfortable as hell with this whole situation, but I can’t take my eyes off of her. I want to make her feel better, but I have no idea how. She’s fiddling with the hem of her long sleeved grey t-shirt. I watch in fascination as she picks invisible lint from her shirt, then from her yoga pants. Her head is down but she keeps glancing in my direction, then diverting her eyes when they meet mine.
Mom marches into the room with Doctor Moss hot on her heels. She asks Blair to step outside with them and then all three leave the room. I can just about see their heads from the internal window that faces into the hall. They’ve gathered outside for privacy, no doubt while they talk about me. No one closed the door as they left, though, and I can hear every word they’re saying. They should have just stayed in the room. Now I feel like a dick eavesdropping, but they’re speaking about me so I’m straining to make sure that I can hear everything.
“You said everything had gone well with the operation and that he might be a little confused; that’s not confused! He had no idea who Blair was,” my mom says hurriedly.
“Mrs. Jamison, with all due respect brain injuries are very complicated. We often can’t perceive the extent of the damage until the patient comes around. It’s perfectly normal in cases like Ethan’s for the patient to be confused, or experience some short-term memory loss.”
I’m trying to process what that all means when I hear Blair’s voice interject.
“He had no idea at all who I was. How can he not remember me, yet he knows who Moira is?”
“Like I’ve said, head injuries are very unpredictable. There are different areas of the brain that house short and long-term memory. It’s likely that the swelling Ethan experienced from the accident has resulted in his memory lapse.”
“Will this be permanent?” I hear Mom ask in an anxious voice.