Shaking my head slowly, I wanted to argue, but he was right. It was a different take, but still the same issue I’d already voiced to him. About being with him as his girlfriend.
He put a finger to my lips, stopping me from making any objection. “I was already thinking about not seeing you for those reasons, and only those reasons, but I drove to Butler Cove anyway. I wanted to see you. Apologize or something, I didn’t know really. Maybe be selfish and go after you anyway. And then Sheila called, she’s my publicist, and told me about the pictures.”
Just being reminded of the pictures sent my belly lurching violently.
“I was freaking driving toward you and seriously about to bring a shit storm to town along with me.” Jack shook his head and closed his eyes. “I couldn’t do it. I turned around. I couldn’t do it to you. And I literally promised not to go anywhere near you until the contract was done.” He shifted, looking up at me.
I stared at him. I couldn’t believe he’d been here, so close, and just turned around. My heart hurt. Even though he’d done it to protect me.
“Audrey also made some claims about my temper, saying she was scared of me. She was trying every angle. She had a video of me hitting Colt, and I’d lost my mind and punched the wall at my place when I found out about the pregnancy being fake,” he added at my look. “The publicity would have been a nightmare if anyone thought the reason my hand was in a cast was because I …”
I tried and failed to hold back a shudder. Yes, it would have been grotesque sensationalism. Jack Eversea in violent outburst with Audrey Lane.
My heart felt wounded for him. I just couldn’t imagine someone deliberately hurting him, and worse, I couldn’t bear the thought of what he must have felt to be so utterly betrayed. Reaching my hand out, I ran my fingers through his hair and skated my fingers around his neck to his jaw. Then his lips. His lips were so soft. Leaning forward, I kissed him softly.
He cleared his throat. “So Peak used that. They pacified Audrey by telling her they needed me on something out of the country. In England. God, I didn’t want to take it. I didn’t want to be back there. But my main contact at Peak said if I didn’t take it, they might not back the Dread Pirate Robert’s project. I’d already told Devon I’d do it, and we have other investors who’d pull out if Peak wasn’t involved.”
Jack took one of my hands and placed it on his chest. “And part of me wondered why you’d want to see me again anyway.”
His shirt was warm and soft, and I could feel the steady thump of his heart beneath my fingers. “I thought of contacting you so many times, but I didn’t know how. Can you imagine if you’d gotten a text or a phone call from me out of the blue? And what would I even say? Every day that went by, it became harder to even contemplate that as an option.”
“It’s okay, Jack,” I whispered, because truly I didn’t know what else to say. He was right, a random phone call from him would have made me mad as hell. And even though I didn’t like it, it all made sense to me, but unfortunately invited a few more unwelcome thoughts. “Are, are you going to be in a contract for the Dread Pirate Robert’s movie?”
“They’re going to try, I’m sure. But the female lead hasn’t been cast yet, and I’ll make sure she knows the deal about you and me.”
“I’m probably going to need a firm ‘no,’ Jack.” I raised my eyebrows.
He laughed. “Of course, it’s a firm ‘no.’ No relationship contracts, period.”
“So what is the deal about you and me?”
“You exist, therefore I am?”
I snorted a giggle. “Is that existential Jack talking?”
“No, it’s real Jack. And real Jack has very real, like crazy, crazy, real feelings for you that might actually scare the shit outta him a little.”
I knew the feeling. “Why are they so scary?” I whispered.
The last colors had faded from the sky, allowing the candles to cast their warm glow and leaving Jack’s eyes in shadow.
“Partly because I don’t know that you want real Jack and his crazy life and everything that goes along with it.” He returned. “And I’m not sure, going forward, how to keep that separate. It could still hurt you.”
It was my biggest fear, too. A hurdle to tackle tomorrow when we headed back to reality.
At least we had tonight.
Jack and I talked for hours as stars pierced the sky above the now dark water, and continued talking as the full moon rose. At one point, I made to leave his lap, thinking he was probably uncomfortable, but his hands tightened on me. “Don’t,” was all he said.
So I didn’t.