“Like what?” I wanted some nugget of information, something to level the playing field. He knew the one thing that had haunted me for the past six months, the thing I most regretted. I wondered what kept him up at night.
“When I first met you, I was at an all-time low. I’d just gotten kicked out of college. None of the classes really interested me, and I spent more time fishing and dicking around than I did studying. Pretty much sabotaged my college career because I just didn’t care. Now I wish I’d spent a little more time paying attention.”
I nodded. “That sucks, but you can always go back if you want to.”
“Yeah. We’ll see. But you want to know what I’m really ashamed of?”
“What?”
“When we first met, I’d been really upset about, well, everything, and took it out on you. I regret that a lot.”
“I think we both weren’t very nice to each other.”
He brushed his fingers over my cheek. “I’m glad that’s changed.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist, my arms working under his shirt and skimming the toned muscles in his back. “Me, too.”
Rising up on my tippy toes, I was level with Ryan’s face, our lips inches apart. He leaned in, our mouths meeting, the familiar warmth spreading through my insides, straight to the spot between my legs. His tongue swept across my lower lip, playfully flicking in my mouth.
He pulled away and said, “You are the best thing that happened to me all summer. You’re amazing.”
I smiled and leaned in to kiss him again.
It was nice to hear this from him, but something hit me—I didn’t need his approval. Maybe Dr. Ahrendt was right. I was the key to my own happiness. And I knew just what I needed to do in order to feel this way completely.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ryan
Jules was full of surprises. Last night, it came out that she was addicted to Adderall—a total shocker. Knowing that she’d had some big fuckups like I did made me fall for her a little more. This may have been just a hookup, that stupid article giving me the push to start things with her, but it was quickly morphing into something more than that. She was different than any girl I’d ever met. I wasn’t a violent person, but the way that asshole tried to shame her last night for sleeping with Andrew had me ready to pound him into the ground. My physical force wasn’t necessary, though. Leave it to Peach to rip him a new one. I was stupid to think she’d need defending.
Her past didn’t matter. I just wanted to be a part of her present—and maybe future. After I turned in my application to Humboldt, I knew this was my Option C, the one that would have been helpful three years ago. If it didn’t pan out, then I’d go to Texas. I didn’t want to tell anyone about this unless I got it. No use shredding my ego any more than necessary. So for now, all people needed to know was that I was getting ready to go to the police academy at the end of summer. I’d tell Gary that I wouldn’t be leaving with him next week. He’d probably flip shit, but I needed these next few weeks to see if the wildlife preservation internship panned out.
Grandma had invited me over for biscuits and gravy this morning, so I made my way over to her house across town. As soon as I walked through the front door, she wrapped me in a hug. I lifted her off the ground and planted a kiss on her cheek.
“Mornin’, Grandma.” I set her down and she patted my back.
“You’re awfully happy today.”
“I’m always happy when you make breakfast for me.”
She looked at me suspiciously. “Even more excited than usual. Is it a girl?”
“You know you’re my number one.” I winked.
She swatted me with a dishrag. “You’re full of it. Who is she?”
I held up my hands, and before she could hit me again I said, “Her name is Jules. She works with me.”
“What did I hear about a girl?’ Gary walked into the kitchen, his hair damp, like he’d just stepped out of the shower.
I shook my head. “It’s nothing.”
“You’re turning red, RJ. Doesn’t look like nothing to me.”
Fuck. Since when did I blush? Peach had changed more about me in the past few weeks than just my ability to see an enjoyable future. I’d started entertaining the idea of a relationship, something I didn’t think possible after Lex. In fact, I didn’t feel anything anymore when I thought of Lex.
“He met someone. At the store,” Grandma chimed in, placing a bowl of biscuits on the kitchen table.
Dammit, Grandma. I ignored this and grabbed the gravy from the stovetop and poured it into a serving container.
Gary grunted. He and Dad had the same grunt, the one my grandfather used to make when there was a bad play by the Broncos or he’d overcook a steak on the grill. “Have you thought any more about my offer?”
We all sat down at the table. I grabbed a biscuit and drizzled gravy over the top before answering. “I’m going to take another month here.”