Lily was momentarily stunned. She hadn’t thought much about her Tristan since she’d been back, which she could hardly believe. But Rowan had thought about him. He wasn’t surprised at all by this question.
“I’ve only met this version of Tristan once, but I can tell he’s got just as much skill as a mechanic as the one in my world. He’s going to sense the change in Lily.” Rowan ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “He’s going to be drawn to your willstones without knowing why.”
“So what should we do? Tell him?” Lily tried to picture that conversation. She laughed out loud at the thought. “No way. The Tristan here is never going to believe it.”
Rowan’s face was grim. “You don’t know what it’s like to be a mechanic and be near a witch as powerful as you. He’ll chase you.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “He had no problem resisting my witchy magnetism for years. Just because I have willstones now won’t make any difference.”
“It will,” Rowan said with quiet vehemence. “You shine now. Even the air around you tastes like magic, and anyone with a mechanic’s potential will come running to you. It’ll eat at him, Lily.”
“He’ll get over it,” she said firmly.
“Why not tell him?” Samantha asked with a timid shrug. “He’s always accepted you the way you are before. He’ll accept this.”
“Because I don’t want to mess him up,” Lily replied, realizing that she’d hit on at least part of what she was feeling. “Tristan wants to be a doctor in this world, and I don’t want to tell him anything that’ll make him choose a different life. I want him to be a huge success, and in this world that does not include believing in magic. Besides, it doesn’t make any sense to tell him. I’m supposed to be reentering my life, right? What would I do with another mechanic? I’m not going to be witching it up on the weekends or anything.”
Rowan didn’t say anything more. Lily could feel several charged emotions spinning around in him at once, but there was one emotion that she couldn’t quite place. It was a big feeling that hung like a gray curtain behind the sharp sparks of frustration and jealousy that took center stage in his heart. Lily thought it might be sorrow or loss. Whatever it was, it thumped through him like a slow, sad pulse—dull, but ever present.
What is that emotion, Rowan? I don’t understand.
Do you trust me, Lily?
Completely.
Then tell Tristan the truth and let him choose what he wants to do with his own life. Don’t make his choices for him.
Lily pulled herself out of rapport with Rowan so she could think for a moment. Everything that he had said made sense to her, and she knew that if she were in Tristan’s place she would want to know her own potential, even if she was in a world where magic wasn’t accepted. But still, Lily felt alarm bells going off in her head. She recalled Lillian’s memory on Walltop, and the warning about wanting to fill an army with the Gift. She thought of the thousands she had claimed, waiting for her return back in Rowan’s world, and the words “warmonger witch” echoed in her mind.
You know how to grow willstones, don’t you, Rowan?
Yes.
And how to train other mechanics?
Of course.
So how many should I claim—just Tristan, or everyone in this world who is drawn to my willstones? Do I keep claiming until I have another army? I’m a new power source in this world, a power source that didn’t develop here slowly over time with checks and balances. That frightens me, Rowan. But what frightens me more is how much I crave it. I want to claim the whole world, and that scares the daylights out of me.
That’s why I trust you, Lily. Every witch wants to claim the whole world, but you respect the power you have enough to never misuse it.
Then respect that I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to use it at all. Even if it means that Tristan never understands his own potential. If I’m going to live in this world, I have to do it as a normal person.