“Come on. Let’s get you something to eat.”
He hugs me to his side and guides me into the kitchen. My muscles relax and my pulse slows, comforted by his touch. Apparently my traitorous body isn’t aware that Jonah’s done with us. Leaning down, he kisses tenderly his favorite spot on my neck then pulls back a fraction to my ear.
“I love you.” His warm breath combined with the power of his words make me tremble in his arms.
I finish his declaration with an unspoken, but we can’t be together. “I love you too.”
And I do. That’s why I don’t mention the conversation that I overheard. I know love doesn’t conquer all, that it’s not always enough. I know that Jonah has to look out for himself. He can’t afford to be wrapped up in my life, and part of me is at peace about that. I want him, but more than that, I want him to be happy—to have a life with a woman who can love him the way he deserves to be loved: a woman free from the ugliness of my reality.
“How you feelin’, princess?” Owen asks.
“I’ve been better.”
His dark eyes study mine. “Right. Well, I’m gonna take off.” He steps to me and tugs me from Jonah’s hold for a hug. His arms linger a little too long, making it feel like a long-term good-bye.
He releases me with a final squeeze. I don’t miss the look he gives Jonah or what it communicates. He’s not happy that Jonah’s breaking up with me, but he understands.
The rest of the evening passes like a dream. Only half-conscious most of the time, my mind pounds away at Dominick’s words. Plans to escape my fate form in my head, but they all end in one reality. I can’t protect everyone. And losing anyone I love is a risk I’m not willing to take.
Jonah treats me like I’m made of glass. He feeds me, bathes me, and dresses me for bed. He holds me in the dark, whispering words of comfort while twisting tendrils of my hair around his fingers.
I want to tell him that it’s okay, I understand why he has to let me go, but words fail me. Physically incapable of walking away from him, I choose to take this moment. I wrap myself up in it, absorbing all the love I can from his touch, hoping it will be enough to last me through a lifetime without him.
***
I open my eyes to a new day. The sun bathes the room in yellow, but I refuse to move. For the first time, I don’t feel Jonah behind me as I do every morning. I try not to think about what’s ahead, but live in the moment. And this moment sucks.
Staring at the digital clock on the bedside, I watch the minutes tick by. Sooner or later, I’m going to have to get up and go to work. But leaving Jonah’s bed, knowing it may be the last time I’m here, is a mountain I’m not ready to face. I sigh, long and hard.
“You awake?” His voice comes from my back, but he’s across the room.
I squeeze my eyes shut tight. Do this for him. Don’t make it harder than it has to be.
Rolling over, I see him in the club chair across the room.
“Good morning.” I say, my voice feeling a little stronger than yesterday, but no less scratchy.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
I sit up and notice that his hair is damp from the shower and he’s dressed for the day. “Where are you off to so early?” My heavy heart drops to my stomach like an anvil.
He stands and makes his way to the bed, plopping down beside me with a huff. “I have some things to do today. Just, um, work stuff.”
He’s avoiding my eyes. This is it. He’s breaking up with me.
“Oh, but I thought you had today off?” I want this to be easy for him, and I know I should just nod and let him walk away, but instinct has me clamoring.
“Yeah, well, I got called in for a meeting. With the fight coming up, there’s a lot of publicity stuff.” He pushes his hand through his hair then rubs the back of his neck. “I wanted to know if you could stay with Eve tonight.”
And there it is.
I swallow a whimper that threatens to shoot from my lips. Blood rushes in my ears distorting his words as he makes excuses about training late.
Unshed tears burn my eyes, but I refuse to let on. Make this easy for him. He deserves that much.
“Sure, that won’t be a problem. But really, I can stay at my place.” You won’t be around to protect me anymore.
His expression hardens, making his jaw tick. “Raven, promise me you’ll stay at Eve’s. I can’t sleep knowing you’ll be alone at your place.”
With a nod and a smile, I agree. I have no intention of staying at Eve’s, but if it makes what he’s doing easier, he can believe I am.
Leaning in, he brushes his lips against mine then kisses my neck at his spot. He pulls back to look me in the eyes and I see something there. Regret? Loss?
“I’ll try to call you later.”
Try?
“Okay.”
Standing with purpose, he walks away.
“I love you, Jonah Slade.” My whispered words are said to the door that he closes behind him.
*
Jonah