How could they send him back? Hadn’t they suffered enough? When would this war torn country be ready to stand on its own two feet and give her back the man she loved? They’d had him long enough, using him up until there was nothing left for the rest of them.
Fin closed her eyes and an icy breeze dusted her skin gently, causing goose bumps to skate down her arms. She shivered.
“Jacob’s beautiful, Fin.”
“Jake?” she breathed, her heart clutching at the sound of her brother’s voice.
“You’ll tell him about me, won’t you? I want him to know the person who’s watching over him.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “Every day. I promise,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “He looks so much like Ryan but already he reminds me of you. He has your smile, Jake. It hurts Ryan to see it. He still cries your name sometimes in his sleep, but I don’t think he knows.”
“He knows, Fin. He’ll always have scars, but he’s accepted them because he has you, and you make his world beautiful.”
“You did too, Jake. The world doesn’t shine as bright without you in it. I miss you.”
“You can’t miss what’s already in your heart, honey.”
The cool breeze chilling her skin began to die off.
“Wait, Jake!” she cried out, choking on a sob. She wanted to see him one last time, but there was nothing tangible to hold on to except empty air.
“Don’t be scared. Just remember to smile when you think of me.”
The warmth of the sun began shining through, creating dappled sunlight through the trees.
“Jake?”
Nothing but silence greeted her.
“Fin?”
Her eyes flew open. Ryan was hovering above her as the sun set on the horizon. “You’ve been asleep for over an hour.”
“Oh,” she murmured, pushing up on her elbows. She rubbed at her eyes, echoes of Jake’s voice still lingering in her heart.
“Are you okay?” His brow was furrowed with concern as he reached down and picked her up effortlessly in his arms.
“I’m fine. I can walk you know.”
“I know that. I remember a girl once telling me that she did have legs …” he told her, hugging her to his chest as he carried her over to the deck table where everyone was starting to sit down. “But if I wanted to carry her around forever, then she’d let me.”
“Ryan,” she replied softly, reaching up to cup his cheek in her palm. “You could carry me into Hell and I’d go with you.”
“I’ve been to Hell, baby,” he replied. “It’s the one place I’ll never take you.”
The next morning with Jacob tucked in her arms, Fin watched Ryan, dressed in his fatigues, walk out on the tarmac towards the plane. She tried blinking rapidly to clear her blurred vision, desperately wanting the last image of him to be perfect, but the tears were spilling out faster than she could control them.
Holding her breath, Fin watched him reach the stairs of the plane. He took the first step, and then the next, until he turned, as though looking right at her. She knew he wouldn’t be able see her from outside—the tint on the windows was dark to keep out the glare of the sun—but she pressed her hand flat against the glass anyway.
“I love you,” he mouthed silently.
“I love you, too, Ryan,” she choked out through tears.
Then he was gone.
Fin watched the plane eventually taxi off the runway and lift into the sky. When she couldn’t see it anymore, she turned and walked away, Jacob held tight in her arms, her heart broken, and knowing it would stay broken until he returned.
As she stepped out into the bright, morning sun, she knew the world would never know her brother, or Ryan, or any of the other silent heroes of the SAS. No one would ever hear their story—what they did, what they gave, and how much they lost. But that was okay, because the world hearing their story was never what it was about.
Present day…
“What is it about, Mummy?” Jacob asked her, placing his chubby hands on her cheeks as she was nearing the end of her story.
“It’s about being the best you can be, Jacob,” she told him, turning slightly to kiss his palm before taking both his hands in her own and squeezing lightly. “It’s about being brave enough to stand up for what you believe is right, giving everything you have to see it through, and finding peace knowing that what you did mattered to someone, somewhere.”
“Did Daddy give everything?”
Fin’s bottom lip trembled. “He gave so much, sweetie. So much.”
She shifted Jacob in her tired arms, trying not to let exhaustion get her down. After years, her body still had not fully recovered. It never would.
“Daddy’s heart beat for us, didn’t it? Just like he told you it did in the story.”
“It did,” she murmured softly, trying desperately not to cry in front of her son. “And you know what?”
“What, Mummy?” Jacob’s dark eyes, so like his father’s, were wide as they peered up at her, waiting.
Fin didn’t immediately reply to his question. Instead, she pointed through the crowd at the airport, her broken heart once again finding peace as her gaze fell on the man she loved with every breath in her body.
“It still does, my baby, and it always will.”