Fighting Redemption

“Have you even read it?”

 

His brows drew together in a sharp frown. “Why are you suddenly making this your business?” Ryan deflected angrily.

 

“Christ, Kendall. I wouldn’t have expected you of all people to forget how short life is.”

 

“Exactly. That’s why she’s moving to Sydney and studying at the Research Centre.”

 

“Hmmm.”

 

“Hmmm what? Fin is still going, isn’t she? She told me she accepted their invitation and that it was all set.”

 

“Look, Kendall. I’m not being the go between for the two of you. If you want to know anything about what she’s doing, you can bloody well ask her yourself.”

 

Ryan pinched the bridge of nose with his thumb and forefinger. Kyle was right. That was a shit thing to do. “Sorry,” he muttered and checked his watch. He was due for debrief in thirty minutes. “Look, I gotta go. Have a beer for me tonight, will you?”

 

There was zero alcohol tolerance for all soldiers on deployment. Knowing it was Friday morning there, Kyle would no doubt be hitting the piss that night.

 

“Will do,” Kyle murmured.

 

After hanging up the phone, Ryan turned to the computer. Switching it on, he logged into his email and stared at it again. Fuck, Kendall. Just grow some fucking balls and open the email already.

 

Hovering the mouse over her name, Ryan double clicked before he could think about it any further.

 

 

 

Ryan,

 

It feels like I’ve started this email a thousand times because it’s so hard to know what to say.

 

Remember before you left, you told me to “go and make Jake proud”? I hope you are doing the same thing.

 

I miss you. So very much.

 

 

 

Exhaling deeply, Ryan tilted his head upwards, his eyes burning. God, he missed her too.

 

 

 

I know you have certain expectations about what I should be doing with my life, but you should know that life always gets in the way of plans.

 

Sorry. It’s not my intention to be cryptic, but I need to talk to you and some things are better discussed over the phone rather than email.

 

Ring me when you can. Please.

 

Love always,

 

Fin.

 

 

 

Pressing his lips together, Ryan hit delete on the email and started the process of logging out and shutting the computer down.

 

I need to talk to you …

 

The soft whir of the computer wound down until silence filled the room, and still he sat there staring at the screen.

 

Ring me when you can.

 

Getting to his feet, Ryan strode determinedly towards the door and swung it open.

 

Please …

 

Pausing with his hand on the door, he turned and looked at the phone. Who was he kidding? Fin would never have emailed him—not after he stormed out, got drunk, disappeared, and showed up the next day to tell her it was over—unless it was important. Christ, did he really do that? What a fucking asshole.

 

Moving back into the room, Ryan picked up the phone and began dialling.

 

 

 

 

 

Buried under the sheets, dawn fighting its way inside the bedroom, Fin growled irritably after another night of rough sleep. She hated, hated, sleeping on her back, but she was stuck with it like some beached whale. Jake would’ve got a great laugh out of this, no doubt suggesting a rescue from Greenpeace to push her into safe waters or something. Her baby was going to miss out on having the best uncle a kid could ask for.

 

Realising there would be no more sleep for her this morning, she reached for her phone off the bedside table, intent on turning off the alarm before it began shrieking. Grasping it with an awkwardness that would have been embarrassing if anyone was watching, her fingers shook at seeing the missed call just after three in the morning from a blocked number. She quickly checked her messages but there were none. Had it been Ryan? What if he was hurt? Without care at the early hour, she called up her list of contacts and dialled.

 

Kyle answered sleepily with an “am I being ditched for a better offer already?”

 

“No!” Fin rolled to her side and grabbing the mattress, pulled herself to an awkward sitting position, a groan slipping out in the process. The baby performed a lazy roll, obviously annoyed at Fin’s rearrangement. Fin rubbed her tummy soothingly and sucked in a sharp breath after getting booted for the gesture.

 

“Holy shit!” Kyle suddenly sounded wide awake. “Are you in labour? Shouldn’t you be ringing your labour buddy? Who the fuck is your labour buddy anyway? Christ, it’s not me, is it? Because if it is, you really should have told me. I’ve never trained for this kind of—”

 

Fin would’ve laughed if she wasn’t busy having her own panic attack. “Kyle! I’m not in labour,” she informed him.

 

There was a pause and then, “Thank God.”

 

“I thought you said you could handle crazy?”

 

“Labour’s not crazy. It’s savage and disturbing on too many levels and has no place in my life.”

 

Fin arched a brow. This man had seen war and having a baby was savage and disturbing? “Because you’re a man?”

 

“Hell yeah.”