She almost flinched at his words because if everything he said was true, did he really hurt so much that he didn’t want to wake up? Not even for her?
“Okay.” Shifting to the edge of the bed, she planted her feet on the floor and stood. “Oh God,” she moaned when blackness swallowed her vision—as though all the light had been sucked swiftly away. She stumbled and went down hard on her hands and knees.
“Fin!” Ryan shouted.
Fin blinked, trying to see. Arms came around her and she was lifted up.
“Christ, baby, you hardly weigh a thing,” he muttered.
Her vision cleared, bringing the concern in his eyes into focus. “Ryan.” She fought against the brief flood of panic and forced a smile. “I tripped getting out of bed. I’m okay. You can put me down.”
“I don’t want to put you down.”
“Well …” She tilted her head. “I do have legs, but if you want to carry me around forever, then I’d let you.”
“Are you sure you just tripped?”
Fin nodded. The last thing he needed weighing him down was worry for her. She probably just needed to eat something.
Ryan looked down at her.
“Yes, I’m sure!” she added. “Do you seriously doubt I would trip over my own feet?”
“True,” he muttered.
Cradled to his chest, he carried her out the door. “Where are you taking me? We haven’t got any clothes on.”
Reaching the couch in the living room, he set her down and planted a swift kiss on her lips. “I’ll get you your robe,” he said. She peered over the couch, her eyes falling to his ass as he walked away. “Then I’m making you breakfast, and after you eat a pile of food, you’re mine all day.”
Her stomach rolled at the idea of food. “Good. I’m starving!” she called out.
As promised, Ryan made a breakfast big enough that even he admitted to being unable to eat it all. That had involved a quick drive to the store because apparently all Fin was existing on was oranges and old cheese.
She had a shower while he’d been gone. Her damp tousled hair hung over her shoulders, and she dressed in a white tank top and sweatpants. Despite looking like the Angel of Sin had dressed her last night, he liked her this way. She had a natural beauty that didn’t need fuss. He hadn’t known the girl he’d seen in the bar last night, but this one? This was the one he knew. This was the one that had his heart thumping and his hands itching to touch.
Fin took a bite of toast, and his eyes fell to her mouth as she licked crumbs from her lips.
“What?”
Ryan met her eyes from where they sat opposite each other at the little breakfast table.
“You don’t have to watch me. I am eating.”
He nodded. She was. But it looked forced. He made a note to keep an eye on what went in her mouth.
“So how much stuff do you have?” she asked as he chewed and swallowed.
“Not much. Just what’s on base. The only thing I really spent money on was my car.” He picked up his coffee. “Monday we can go open a joint bank account. I’ll have the Army put all my wages in there. You take that money to pay bills, okay?”
Fin frowned. “Ryan, I have my own money. I was going to transfer Jake’s half of the house to you.”
“Fin.” He reached out and took her hand in his. “We’ll do this right. Get a valuation. I’ll give you half of what the house is worth. I don’t care what you do with the money. Invest it somewhere.”
She looked at him. “Ryan, I don’t need it. You don’t have to do this.”
Ryan rubbed his jaw, wondering how to phrase the words so they wouldn’t hurt, but he didn’t think he could. “You’re my next of kin, baby. If anything ever happened to me, you’d get it all anyway. That’s how I want it.”
Fin slammed her fork down, anger and hurt warring in her eyes. “Okay,” she said, her voice firm. “If anything ever happened to me, you get everything of mine.”
He looked at her sharply, swallowing fear. His need for her was so deep and so utterly consuming nothing could ever take her from him. He wouldn’t allow it. “Nothing’s ever gonna happen to you.”
“Of course it won’t,” she agreed quickly, her eyes falling to her plate.
The words weren’t enough. He needed to see it in her eyes. “Look at me, Fin.”
She looked up.
“Promise me. No matter what you do, you’ll keep yourself safe. For me.”
“I’ll promise it if you do.”
“Dammit,” he growled, his chest filling with unmitigated anger. His chair flew back as he stood. Asking him to be safe was asking him to give up everything he ever was in order to keep that promise. “You know I can’t promise you that.”
Fin stood up, her eyes sparking fire as she faced him. “You speak to me of love, yet you’ll walk away from me so easily to go and put your life on the line! Do you know how hard that is for me?”
He didn’t answer because he knew how hard it was. If he had to sit back and let her put her own life in the same danger it would kill him.
“Do you?” she shouted.
“I’m sorry,” was his answer, and he watched her suddenly deflate.