Swearing viciously, Tori hit the undo button to fix what she’d just screwed up and tried to shove Max out of her mind.
She zoomed in on the nose, working with the pixels until she achieved the shape and shading she was looking for. Then she worked on the eyes for a while. It was painstaking work, and she could already feel the pull in her shoulders that would become a painful reminder of ergonomics.
Once she was satisfied with the eyes, she zoomed back out to the full cover view.
And swore again.
She’d made the guy Max Crawford. The hair wasn’t quite right, but there was no mistaking the features. Since this was the fifth book in the author’s series and the leading man had previously not looked like Max, that was a problem.
She deleted her work back to her evening starting point and closed up shop. It was time to acknowledge to herself how much she hated Max going out with Nola. She was jealous and she didn’t like sharing him, even if her own relationship was supposed to be strictly friendship.
She wanted Max. There was no denying that at this point. But she wanted him temporarily and it wouldn’t be fair to pull him away from a woman who might want to keep him forever.
The worst part was knowing—or at least strongly believing—that she could have him. She could get Max into her bed, or his, and satisfy the hunger for him that had been building inside her.
But Max wasn’t a fling kind of guy and, when she’d had her fill and it was time to cut him loose, he’d be hurt. She could imagine all too well how he’d look while trying to figure out what he’d done wrong and how he could fix it.
She couldn’t do that to him. All she could do was be his friend and help him go after what he really wanted, which was a wife.
And what she could do right now was get out of this apartment before she lost her freaking mind. She pulled on a hoodie, shoved her keys in one pocket and her phone in the other, then went downstairs.
Unfortunately, once she was on the sidewalk, she realized she had no place to go. She walked aimlessly in the dark for a while, before ending up on the bench in the town square, where she’d sat with Max before he asked Nola to have dinner with him.
Taking out her phone, she scrolled through her contacts, looking for somebody to text. But they were probably all snuggled up with their guys and, though Hailey or Liz or even Paige would be willing to be a shoulder for her, she wasn’t going to bother them.
So she sat, trying to get her head on straight so the next time she saw Max, he’d never guess she considered—however briefly—torpedoing the serious relationship he was trying to build.
Maybe she needed some flash cards like the ones she’d made for Max so she could practice reacting to his dating successes. Going on a third date. That’s great, Max! She’s finally invited me to her place. Go, Max! We made love for the first time.
Okay, no. Hopefully he’d realize some things were for discussion and some things weren’t.
The next step. A ring. The proposal. That’s great, Max. I’m so thrilled for you. I hope you’re both very happy and that you never yell at her that you wish she was dead.
She couldn’t picture Max ever doing that, but if you’d asked her several years ago, she wouldn’t have been able to picture her father doing it, either.
Movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention and she looked over to see Max walking across the grass toward her. Considering where her thoughts had been for the last few hours, she wasn’t sure she could manage it, but she gave herself the world’s fastest pep talk.
Max was her friend. He was a great guy and he wanted to find that special someone to spend the rest of his life with. She would be happy for him, dammit.
“Were you waiting for me?” he asked as he sat on the bench next to her.
“No. I went for a walk and ended up sitting here. I thought you’d be home already, actually. Or...with Nola.”
“After she left, I stayed for dessert.”
“You didn’t leave with her?”
He gave a little shrug. “We’ve decided to be friends.”
Disappointment for him pushed back anything else she might have felt. “I’m sorry, Max. I thought she was such a good match for you.”
“Perhaps too good a match. We’d make very good companions and we could probably have years of polite conversations but, as she said, there was no romantic spark.”
“I really wanted it to work out.” It wasn’t a lie. While she might be conflicted about her feelings, she’d wanted it to work out for him.
“It was good practice, and now I have another friend. Besides, it helped me refine my list. I’d underestimated the need for chemistry, I suppose.”
Tori turned sideways on the bench so she could see him, pulling her knees up. The temperature had bypassed chilly and gone straight to cold. “Maybe if you were eighty-five, companionship and polite conversation would be enough, but you definitely need spark. Sparks are good.”