“I think I can keep up.”
She reached for the rag again and started cleaning more blood off my face. With her eyes focused on her work, she said, “The holidays bring up bad memories for us. My parents think if they pretend enough and have enough decorations and food that they won’t think so much about the things they don’t have.”
“And that doesn’t work for you?”
Her eyes met mine for a few seconds.
“Nothing works for me. But music.”
I brought my hand up and placed it over hers that rested on my shoulder
“I’m sorry.”
She looked down at me, and her eyes searched mine. “Normally, I hate it when people say that, but . . .”
The damp rag skimmed across my cheek to the cut on my mouth. Her eyes were dark, and her lips parted. She dabbed at the cut carefully. I watched the movement of her throat as she swallowed.
Slowly, so slowly that it felt like a dream, her hand turned so that the backs of her knuckles trailed across my lips. Her eyes were open and clear. We were both sober. One of my hands found her hip, and her chest brushed against my shoulder as she leaned over me.
I could feel her breath on my lips, and her eyes were dilated with desire. She bit her lip, and I held in a groan. Her eyes dropped to my lips, and the rag dropped to the floor.
Then her phone rang.
She jumped back so quickly that she was across the room before I’d released the breath that had been caught in my chest.
She picked up her phone, and her expression was blank as she said, “It’s my boyfriend.”
I swallowed, but my mouth still felt as dry as the desert.
The universe was doing us both a favor. I didn’t want to make her into a cheater. Kissing her earlier had been bad enough.
“I should be going anyway.”
I crossed to the door as quickly as possible, and she called back to me, “Cade!” I pulled the door open wide, and looked back at her. She held the phone in her hand, ready to answer. She said, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not.” She took a small step toward me, and I turned. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
14
Max
This was a catastrofuck of colossal proportions.
I hit accept and said, “Hi, babe.” The sound on his end was garbled and booming. He must have been in some kind of club because the music was blasting. “Mace?”
“Maxi Pad!”
And . . . he was drunk.
“We’ve talked about this, Mace. There are funny nicknames, and there are atrocious ones. That one is the latter.”
“Maxi . . . Come meet me at Pure.”
Shit, if he was there, he’d probably been popping pills rather than downing beer.
“I can’t, Mace.”
“Yes, you can. Christ, Max, this shit is awesome. You have to come try it.”
Just as I thought. I wasn’t judging him. I’d done too many screwed-up things over the years to do that, but I didn’t have room for that kind of stuff in my life. If I dealt with my pain that way, there would be no reason to put it into my music instead, and then I’d be left with nothing.
“Listen, Mace, I had a really rough day at work.”
“I’ll take your mind off of it.” His voice was gravelly and slurred. His voice normally made me weak in the knees. Not tonight. I wasn’t up for any kind of solution he had to offer.
“No, Mace. I’m just going to go to sleep.”
“Fuck, Max. First, you bail on me this morning.”
“My parents are in town, and you bailed on me.”
He didn’t even listen to me, just kept right on talking. “Now, you won’t even come out when I won’t see you at all tomorrow.”
I couldn’t deal with this right now. It took all of my control not to just hang up the phone.
“I can’t, okay? We’ll talk when you’re sober. Good night.”
I clicked the phone off and sank down onto the couch. I pressed the cool phone screen to my heated cheek, and placed my other hand on the cushion beside me. There were so many thoughts running through my head—thoughts about Mace and Cade. But it had been a long, emotional day. I wasn’t stupid enough to let myself make a decision in the heat of the moment. Even if I could still feel Cade’s hands on my back, and his face beneath my fingertips when I closed my eyes.
Catastrofuck. Definitely.
All I wanted to do was take a shower, but then I’d screw up the bandages on my back. Instead, I shucked off my clothes and fell into bed and oblivion.
He tugged on my hair, and I felt the pull run down my spine all the way to my toes. He pulled my head back, and his lips came down on my neck. He dragged his mouth softly down the column of my throat, and then his teeth grazed my collarbone.
I moaned embarrassingly loud.
He rewarded me with another nip of his teeth.