Dane’s turn is next, and I already feel sorry for him; Lord knows what it will say.
“What are your three favorite Disney movies?” He looks at me and a genuine smile lights up his face, it takes up the whole room. “Hmmm, I wonder whose question this is? Could it be, could it be...the little cutie in the princess pajamas?” He winks at me. “Let’s see...I’m gonna go with Toy Story...”
Classic boy pick. “Monsters, Inc...” Great choice.
“and...oh, of course, The Fox and the Hound.”
“Oh my God, dude, you’re a fag.” Sawyer throws a wadded up napkin at him.
Dane just shrugs his shoulders and sneaks a peek at me. I’m just staring at him. I really liked his answer.
My turn. I could possibly throw up right now... “What would be your ideal date?”
“Oh yay, I was hoping you’d draw that!” Bennett squeals and claps.
I think of Evan, all the times we went to eat, to prom, fishing...were those ideal? I have no idea, but they were to me because Evan was there. Would I enjoy those things without him? Probably not, but he’s gone and I haven’t enjoyed much lately. I don’t even really like softball anymore. I feel tears welling up...strangers, people examining me, it’s all too much.
“I’ll take the shot,” I say and do just that. It burns, just like the backs of my eyes. I look up and Dane has me locked in his gaze, but he doesn’t say a word.
Sawyer also draws one of mine. “What makes you happiest? Laney, did you ask one dirty question?” He gives me a teasing scowl.
“That could be a dirty question, depending on your answer!” I stick my tongue out at him, earning a laugh from everyone.
“Pussy, beer, and sports make me happiest, probably in that order.” Sawyer is a pig, but in a “he’ll grow on ya” kind of way.
After a few more rounds, I know way too much about everyone. I downed two shots and revealed nothing important or embarrassing, as Dane and Bennett went easy on the questions, too.
Finally Dane stands. “Guys, it’s getting late. Let’s go so these ladies can get to bed.”
“You don’t have to leave yet, right, Laney?” Bennett pleads at me with her eyes.
I say nothing because I’m tired.
“Tate, come on, man. Sawyer, get your ass up and say goodnight.”
Tate leans over to whisper in Bennett’s ear when she sees him to the door and Sawyer shuffles out, mumbling, after giving me an awkward hug.
Dane stops and turns to me. “Night, Disney, hope tonight was okay for you.”
A nickname? Already? Not sure he’s earned that privilege yet, but it’s such a good one that I let it slide.
“Yeah, no worries. It was fun.” I shrug.
“You’re lying to me. Half of the questions horrified you,” he laughs.
“Nah, some of them were funny. It was...different, good different.”
“Well then, I’m glad. Sweet dreams.”
I go to bed without calling Evan, not even a text, because I feel guilty, although I’m not sure why. He does the same, apparently, and that makes it hard to fall asleep.
Chapter Fifteen
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A PICTURE’S WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
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Laney
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It’s raining when I wake up, a perfect Saturday. There’s coffee made and Bennett’s gone, a note says she’ll be home later tonight; she’s off working on her play. I move slowly, picking up the room and bagging up my laundry, and then take a shower. I try to call Evan. It goes to voicemail, so I call home.
It’s so good to talk to Dad. I tell him all about my classes and Bennett. He, of course, asks about the team and the coach. I keep my tone enthusiastic before finally telling him I love him and will see him soon.
Completely out of things to do now, I decide to go get in some swings in the indoor practice arena. I’m not really motivated about ball, but I literally have nothing else to do and at least it’s something I “know.”
I was always content at home, but now it feels like I’m disconnected from myself. Nothing seems really right or really wrong, but I know I’m just going through the motions. I miss home. I miss Evan and all that was constant, safe, and familiar.
But then there’s this other little voice in the background that hates that everyone around me seems comfortable, making the most of college, friends, parties, whatever...I’m stuck in the middle, of out of my zone but afraid to explore the other side.
I swing until I’m drenched in sweat and my arms are rubbery and then head back to the dorm. Two hours and another shower later, Bennett still isn’t home. I still have no homework and my call to Evan goes to voicemail again. Okay, now it’s bugging me. Evan’s never missed two of my calls in a row, but I simply cannot bring myself to send a text, too. Don’t be that girl, Laney. I should be happy that he obviously has more to keep him busy than I do; above all, I do want him happy.
Not sure how or why, but I find myself knocking on the door of room 114.