Okay, that works. In the meantime, you should come work out with me.
I pray she doesn’t turn me down. I really don’t want to sound desperate, ’cause I’m not, but something inside of me really wants to see her. Despite the panic that tends to start buzzing every time I think of letting her see even the smallest hint of interest, I need to see her. There’s something so intriguing about her and for once not just my body wants her. But there’s a mental connection – we click. And by whatever crazy miracle, it seems worth the risk of putting myself out there again. I think.
I wait to hear back from her as Amanda, Nash, and Jess leave the dance floor.
“Did you figure shit out with the realtor?” Amanda asks through heavy breaths.
Both Nash and Jess are drunk and making out next to me. “Her name’s Elania…and not really.”
“I know that, asshole, you know what I mean.”
I roll my eyes at her, taking another swig of my beer. I’m ready to go home. I’m not about to have a heart to heart in the middle of a crowd. And I doubt I could handle that right this second anyway. It’s enough for me to even let the thoughts shoot across my brain for a split second. Any more and I’d probably end up hyperventilating like a little bitch.
She looks at Nash and Jess, who are about to cross the line in public and says, “Let’s go, I gotta get these two home.”
We all load up and I don’t say much to Amanda. I hate it when she acts this way, all controlling. That’s my gig. After we drop off Nash and Jess, Amanda smiles at me, and I can see that she feels bad.
“Come on, Nate, I’m dying over here. I have to know what you’ve been texting.”
“Not much really. We’ve just been talking back and forth.” I’m hesitant to admit that I could really be moving forward in fear that it will jinx things.
“About?”
“I don’t know, mainly house stuff and a little about ourselves.”
“Does she know…” she trails off.
“About?”
She looks down at my pants and I can tell she means my leg.
“No, and it’s honestly been the last thing on my mind.”
“I’ve told you a million times a good girl won’t care.”
“I agree, no one looks at me any differently when they see my prosthetic, it’s more of a quirk inside of me.” Honestly, it’s not my leg that really freaks me out. It’s general rejection, my leg is just a good cover. Something that I can blame things on and hide behind.
“I get that, Nate, I really do. It’s like me being gay – if I told the world, ninety-five percent of people wouldn’t care, but I’m just scared.”
“I know you are, but you shouldn’t be. One day you’ll tell the world,” I tell her and lean over kissing her on the cheek. Knowing I need to listen to my own words just as much. “Thanks for the ride, babe.”
“Any time.”
As I head inside, I check my phone. There are two text messages from Elania. You never told me what working out together entails?
Guess, I’ll pass.
Damn, girl, I’m sorry, I was driving home and lost track of time. Working out will entail whatever you want.
I’m not really sure what we should do, since all I really do is jog. I guess you’ll have to show me the ropes.
We could climb ropes, I tease her.
I’m not sure my arms could handle it.
I’ll help you.
I wait for her to text back as I crack another beer, but…she doesn’t. I wonder what she’s thinking. Did I say something wrong? I’m sure I didn’t. Checking the time, it is after midnight. Damn, now I feel really bad. She’s an early riser and here I am bothering her.
I tilt my head back, letting the alcohol take me where it may. And for the first time in I don’t know how long, it’s not to Arion. All I see is Elania, dark hair, exceptional body, that laugh, and those eyes. If only I could know what’s behind them. I sense that she’s been hurt, hurt just like I have.
“So are we still on for tonight?” my cousin, Mads, asks me as I poke my fork around my salad.
“Actually…I have to cancel.”
“Elania,” she scolds. “You promised me that we’d do this together.”
“I know I did and I’m sorry, but something came up with a client. Plus, you know softball isn’t my thing.”
“So you’re cancelling for the entire season?”
I nod my head wary of looking her in the eyes. She’s getting married soon and really wants everyone in the wedding party to join this league. “Well…yeah,” I finally admit.
“No, hell no, this was supposed to be for fun.”
“And it still will be for you and Josh. Plus you’ll have everyone else in the wedding party there.”
“I’m not doing it without you. Besides, what could be so bad about drinking and playing something for fun?”
“Oh my God, you’re killing me.”
“Pleeeeease,” she says in such a wheedling tone.
“Uhh, fine, Mads, I’ll do it, but not tonight.”
“Deal. So what came up tonight anyways? What client?”