“Damn, okay. When do you wanna look again?”
Someone bounces back quickly, I’m pleasantly surprised. “I’m driving home now, let me look at my calendar and I’ll text you.” He sounds genuinely excited to see me again, even if it’s to look at houses; maybe he is into me. Not that it matters, I’m not ready to move on with anyone.
As I deal with Andrea texting me again, I can’t control my mind as it drifts elsewhere. Normally, I love an impromptu message from her about hooking up. But for some reason, tonight, I’m just not feeling it.
Maybe it’s because I’m contemplating texting Elania back. She was supposed to let me know when we could go look at houses again and that was over three and a half hours ago. Something has definitely gotten into me if I’m watching the clock this way like a moony teenager and can’t get my dick enthusiastic about a free fuck elsewhere. I’m sure she’s busy anyways. As I knock back another beer, I watch Nash and Jess on the dance floor. He is so much bigger than her; they are such an odd couple. But the way she looks smiling up at him is priceless. I had that once. A pang hits me deep in my chest, and I shake my head to clear the thoughts. Not tonight, I’m not going there. I’m happy for my friend, and even though my fucked up brain always has me comparing myself to someone else, it’s not fair to put Nash and Jess in the picture.
“What’d I miss?” Amanda asks me, coming back from the bathroom and throwing an arm over my shoulder.
“Nothing,” I respond, shaking my head.
“When’s he asking her?” she asks me.
“On their vacation, next week.”
“She’s gonna be so surprised. Did you give him any pointers?”
“Fuck no, I did that shit so long ago and you see how well it turned out. I’m the last person who should be giving him that type of advice.”
The bartender comes over and I order another beer for me and a seltzer water for Amanda. She’s not much of a drinker, which is fine by me, ’cause I always got a sober driver. As I turn to her, she has my phone in her hand and I lean over to see what she’s doing. “When did this start?” she asks.
I snatch it away to see that Elania texted me. Hey Nate, how about this weekend?
I glance at Amanda who has that look on her face. The one that says Why the fuck didn’t you tell me, dickweed? “Yesterday.” She rolls her eyes at me, like I’ve been keeping it from her for a year. “I promise. I didn’t even have her cell number ’til then.”
“And?”
“And what?” I laugh at her. It’s like I’m cheating on her or something with Elania.
“What’s your plan?” she asks turning in her seat.
I shrug my shoulders. She knows damn well I don’t ever have a plan. “The contract on the house I wanted fell through, so we have to go look again.”
“And?”
“Why the fuck do you keep asking me that? And. And. And.”
She punches me in the shoulder. “’Cause, I wanna know what’s going through that head of yours.”
“Oh, trust me, you most definitely don’t wanna know.”
“Try me.”
“She’s hot and I’d love nothing more than to fuck her. But she probably has a boyfriend at home, or doesn’t see me like that.”
“And what if she doesn’t? And does?”
“I don’t know. She evokes things inside of me I’m not sure I want to let out. Plus, I got other shit to focus on, like my mom and—”
She cuts me off. “Nate, if she’s making you actually feel something, then don’t push that away.”
The bartender sets another shot and beer in front of me. I guess I slammed that last one without even knowing it. As I turn the shot around and around in my fingers, one word Amanda said rings loud and clear, feel. Does Elania make me feel? There’s something there and it’s more than just lust. Since my mind has been drifting towards her, remembering our interactions, I’ve actually been blowing Andrea off. That’s not like me, considering we’ve fucked for the better part of a year.
“I don’t know what she’s doing to me. I really don’t.”
“Well, text her back. I’m going to dance.”
I nod my head. She knows I’m not a fan of being on the dance floor, aside from being a one-legged, gimpy ass freak-show.
Looking down at my phone, I re-read her text.
I really don’t want to wait ’til this weekend to see her. With alcohol coursing through my veins, I just start typing. Got anything sooner?
I do, but I want to see what new listings pop up on Friday. That’s usually when new homes come on the market.