‘What do you mean by that?’
‘He’s stubborn, like you. He only comes to me when he has to. No way he would’ve come to me with tonight’s injury if he didn’t need to be in top shape to go after Spence. Normally he just sits and suffers through the broken bones.’
‘Jesus,’ I whispered. ‘Why does he always have to take the hard road?’
‘Are you really asking that? You?’
I shook my head. ‘I wouldn’t take the hard road if there was another option. But he’s got someone here who can help him and he doesn’t accept it. That just doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t always have to be the martyr.’
Dapper threw back the last of his nightcap and rinsed the glass in the sink. ‘Have you considered that he doesn’t do it because every time he accepts that this is now his life he loses a bit of what he had with you?’
‘That’s—’ My eyes burned. ‘That’s not true, Dapper. Lincoln gave up on me a long time ago.’
‘Oh, yeah?’ he replied, raising an eyebrow. ‘And when would that have been?’
‘When he stopped looking for me. He chased me all around the world. There wasn’t a day I couldn’t feel him hunting me down in that first year. Then one day he just stopped.’
‘And you wanted him to keep chasing?’
‘No,’ I said, sighing heavily. It hurt knowing that he was doing nothing but search for me, knowing I couldn’t ever let him find me. It was a cruel game of cat and mouse with no victor to be had. I swallowed. ‘It was for the best.’
He reached for his dishcloth and dried his glass. ‘I remember when he came back. He sat in this bar for nearly a month. I’ve never seen anyone drink so much, not even Onyx.’ He half laughed. ‘And then there were the girls.’
I looked up sharply. ‘Dapper, please,’ I begged. I couldn’t hear this.
He ignored me. ‘They came from everywhere. All wanting to be the one who mended his broken heart and sorry soul.’
‘Oh,’ I said.
‘Your sandwich is burning.’
I lifted the sandwich press and quickly transferred the burned-cheese melt onto the bench. I wasn’t hungry any more.
When I looked up, Dapper’s eyes were fixed on mine, waiting. ‘He never looked at one of them. Not even for a fleeting moment.’
I swallowed something that tasted a lot like relief. ‘So, what happened?’
‘I’m not sure, exactly. One day Spence came in, the two of them got in a scrap and then Spence managed to haul him out. The day after, he just didn’t turn up. The next time I saw him he was back with the Academy and a few months later he was running his own show. That’s all he’s done since. Just put his head down and worked.’
‘That, I can understand.’
He nodded. ‘I’m not surprised. There’s only one person in this world for each of you. For as long as you’re each not willing to take what you need, the other will inevitably suffer. It’s a Gordian Knot if ever there was one.’
‘What did you just say?’ I asked, a shiver running down my spine.
‘I said you two are impossible. Like a Gordian Knot. Do you know the story?’
‘Yeah. I’ve heard it before.’
Damn you, Phoenix.
I knew he’d played a hand in this little coincidence; it had angel prints all over it.
‘I think I might go out for a walk,’ I said.
‘Suit yourself. But if you’re just after some fresh air, those stairs over there will take you to the roof. It’s a nice view. And exile free.’
I nodded, before grabbing a sweater from my room and heading up the stairs as Dapper went to his and Onyx’s room.
When I pushed through the high door and came out onto the roof, I was suddenly reminded of where we were. I was standing on the top of a Brooklyn Bridge pillar. ‘Whoa.’
I moved to the edge and sat down with my legs hanging over. I’d only managed a few minutes of sky gazing before I felt the change in the air around me as gravity shifted and time slowed until the world around me was still.
My shoulders slumped and my head dropped forward. Of course. It was too much to ask for a few minutes alone.
When I turned around, remaining seated, I saw the whole gang present and accounted for.
I glared at Phoenix, who quickly held up his hands in surrender.
‘Hey, you should be thanking me. Nox kept trying to turn up right in the middle of your dance.’
I grimaced. ‘You all saw that?’
‘Every single hip thrust and possessive look,’ Nox said, dragging out his words.
‘Even if you’d be better off dancing with someone else,’ Phoenix threw in, his eyes moving away before I could catch them.
‘You’re probably not wrong there,’ I admitted. Dancing with Lincoln had stirred too many of the emotions I worked hard to keep buried. ‘Though dancing with you would be no wiser,’ I added, to which he glanced up and gave a half smile.
I turned my attention to the others, noticing the grave expressions worn by my angel maker and Uri.
‘How bad?’ I asked.
Stupid question. The fact they’re all here is answer enough.