‘You want this?’
He smiled. ‘Didn’t you? I get it now. It’s different from just being half here as an exile. And best of all, without my powers, I don’t leak emotion all over the place. A girl hasn’t thrown herself at me once since I changed.’
I looked him up and down, and I couldn’t stop my smile. Phoenix was a gorgeous example of a man. ‘I wouldn’t count on that becoming the rule,’ I said wryly.
He shrugged, but his eyes stayed glued to mine, searching for the memory of past times, when we had been more to each other. And of course it was there. The memory was bittersweet and I would carry it with me forever. I could tell the moment Phoenix found it too, from the ripple of pain that showed in his expression. He looked away.
‘Maybe. But maybe there’s a chance one of them might actually want me for … me.’
I swallowed. ‘I’m sorry, Phoenix.’ And this time I was apologising for something more personal. And he knew it.
‘Me too.’
I blew out a breath. ‘What now?’
Phoenix swung his legs in time with mine. ‘We both know the answer to that.’
My chest suddenly tightened and tears slipped from my eyes. Because he was right.
I bit down hard on my lip. ‘You’ll always know where I am. If you ever …’
He nodded. ‘I’ll know. But you need to get on with your life.’ He gestured to my wedding finger. ‘And I need to find a life that won’t hurt the people I care the most about.’ He looked back into my eyes and then away, running his hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck. ‘Don’t look like that, Violet. Please. Seeing you sad … I had to watch you these past two years and it ripped me apart.’
‘I wish things had been different.’
‘No, you don’t. Not really. You and I were destined to come together. I was destined to share my essence with you, and I think you were destined to change me so completely that when it came to making my ultimate decision, I was ready. I thought that with you I would belong and that I would find my place in this world. But it wasn’t with you so much as through you. I understand that now.’ He half laughed again. ‘Turns out you weren’t the only one with a Gordian Knot to slice through.’
I nodded quickly, trying to hold back more tears.
He cleared his throat. ‘That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell to see that marking on your finger, but it means I can accept it.’
I took in a shuddering breath, absorbing Phoenix’s words – both his understanding and his forgiveness.
After a few minutes of silence Phoenix stood and pulled me up and into his arms. I gripped him tightly, knowing that this would be the last time.
‘I hope you have the most amazing life. You deserve it,’ I said. ‘And I hope that when she finds you, you will finally see the truth you have always denied.’
‘You sound like them, speaking in riddles,’ he admonished. ‘Who? And what?’ he said with a smile.
‘The one. And, how incredible and deserving of true happiness you really are.’
His arms tightened around me and then his mouth moved close to my ear. ‘That certainly is something to look forward to.’ He lingered, breathing in and out slowly, before whispering, ‘I’ll always be with you. Even though we’ll be forever apart.’
Phoenix was right. I carried the essence of his angelic being.
He will always be with me.
I held onto him for what felt like seconds but was probably much longer. Our lives had collided with an almost obliterating force, but we had taught each other to survive, to fight, to be strong and inevitably to act with our hearts and consciences. Our future was not together, but our history would be forever entwined.
Eventually, he brushed the hair back from my face and looked at me for what I knew was the last time. ‘Say the words I came to hear,’ he said softly.
I almost whimpered, but he deserved them. So did I.
And so did Lincoln.
I took a deep breath and cupped his cheek in my hand. ‘Goodbye, Phoenix.’
His smile was painted with both pain and relief as tears slipped down his face to mirror my own. ‘Goodbye, lover.’
The wedding was perfect.
Grigori glamour users put a dome of cover over Central Park and the nature users went crazy. Steph, on Dapper’s arm, walked down an aisle rimmed by white daisies; the same white daisies that went as far as the eye could see – Zoe’s gift to the happy couple.