Emancipating Andie

chapter SIX



Chase lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had come back to his own room at around two in the morning, and at that point he was so exhausted he was pretty sure he fell asleep before his head hit the pillow. But now that he was awake, now that he was coherent, all he could think about was the night before.

He couldn’t reconcile the girl from yesterday morning with the one who had been lying in bed next to him last night. She had fallen asleep almost immediately after they started watching the movie, and when he no longer heard her laughter mingling with his, he turned to look at her.

And he was instantly and completely disarmed by what he saw.

She was all innocence and vulnerability in that moment; her blonde hair fanned out on the pillow, her lips slightly parted, her fingers curled loosely around the comforter she had pulled into her chest.

Throughout the day before, she had given him little glimpses of the girl behind the tough exterior, but to see her so totally unshielded did something to him that he hadn’t been prepared for.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

That should have been the signal for him to pull back again, but for some inexplicable reason, he felt like he needed to stay with her, to protect her while she was in such a defenseless state. It was completely unnecessary and ridiculous, he knew that, but he managed to convince himself it was the right thing to do. So he stayed there in her room until the movie was over, until he no longer had any viable excuse to be there. And then he pulled her laptop onto his thighs, closing out the programs on her computer one by one. After he had powered down her laptop, he gently eased out of her bed, careful not to jostle her, and turned out the lights before making his way back to his own room.

He had left the adjoining doors ajar, and now he could hear her getting out of bed and turning on the shower.

He shouldn’t have done what he did last night. It was messing with his head. And he didn’t like the feeling he had right now, almost like he couldn’t wait for the day to begin so he could get back in that car with her.

Chase exhaled heavily as he dragged his hands down his face. Snap the f*ck out of it, he thought, pushing himself off the bed and walking into the bathroom.

He showered quickly, got dressed, and packed his things, keeping himself busy. By the time he was ready to go, he could still hear her moving around in the bathroom. It was already eight-thirty, and he knew she wanted to be back on the road by nine.

Chase grabbed his key card and slipped it into his back pocket as he exited the room and took the elevator downstairs, making his way through the lobby and over to the conference area where they had set up a large buffet breakfast.

“Good morning, sir,” one of the hotel workers said as he approached the food, and he nodded his greeting before sliding a plate off the large stack in front of him. He piled it high with two bagels, two muffins, and a handful of French toast sticks. At the end of the line, he slid the overflowing plate onto the table and filled two travel cups with coffee, leaving one black and putting cream and sugar in the other. After securing the lids, he scooped them both up in one hand, balancing the plate in the other as he walked carefully toward the elevators.

Chase stopped in front of Andie’s door, taking a deep breath. The one sip of coffee he had managed cleared his head significantly. He was fine. This was fine.

He used his knee to knock, quickly righting the plate as it started to teeter. A moment later the door swung open, and she smiled as she looked down at his hands.

“Complimentary room service?” she asked, taking one of the cups from him.

“Complimentary? I should at least get a tip for lugging this shit up here by myself.” Before she could react, he added, “Sorry, I meant for lugging this poop up here.”

Andie pressed her lips together, suppressing a smile as she stepped aside to let him into the room.

“That one has cream and sugar in it,” he said, nodding toward the cup in her hand. “That’s how you take it, right?”

“Yeah,” she said, somewhat surprised. “How did you know that?”

“That’s how you drank it yesterday morning. In your apartment,” he clarified.

She raised her eyebrows. “Impressive,” she said, taking the plate from his hand and putting it down on the small table in the corner of the room.

“There’s other stuff down there if you don’t like any of that,” Chase said. “Eggs, bacon, home fries.”

“No, this is perfect, thank you,” she said, taking one of the French toast sticks off the plate and pulling a piece off with her fingers before popping it in her mouth. “I’m running a little late. I’ll be ready in like five minutes.”

“Take your time.”

She smiled softly, pulling another piece off the French toast. “Did you sleep okay?”

He nodded. “You?”

“Surprisingly. I don’t usually sleep well in strange places. Sorry I wasn’t much company last night.”

He waved her off.

“And thank you, by the way. For closing everything down.”

He nodded, running his hand through his hair and looking away from her. You’re fine, he reminded himself. This is fine. “Alright, I’m gonna go pack my things. I’ll meet you outside in like five minutes?”

“Okay,” she said, and he grabbed one of the bagels from the plate before walking into his room through the adjoining doors.

And since he had already packed his things before he went down to get them breakfast, he sat on his bed for the next five minutes, picking the bagel apart while trying to pull himself back together.



After checking out, they walked to her car and piled their bags back into her trunk. Chase slammed it closed and turned to get in the car, stopping in his tracks when he saw Andie getting into the passenger side.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

She stopped halfway into the car. “I’m tired of driving,” she said simply before she slid the rest of the way into the seat and closed the door.

He stood there for a moment before a slow smile curved his lips, and he walked around to the driver’s side.

This girl was going to make him crazy.

And somewhere between his room and the car, he decided he was going to let her. For the next six hours, he was going to enjoy her company without questioning or chastising himself. There was no harm in allowing himself to have fun with her. And so what if he recognized the fact that she was beautiful? Lots of girls were beautiful. Acknowledging that didn’t mean anything.

For the rest of the trip, he was going to stop overthinking everything. It was only six hours, after all. Not even a work day. Trivial and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Chase slid into the seat and closed the door behind him, turning to look at her. “You’re sure about this? You don’t need a Valium or anything before we get started?”

She kept her eyes forward but held up her hand, flipping him off, and he clucked his tongue as he started the car.

“First a curse word, and now an obscene hand gesture? I’m appalled.”

Andie sighed. “I know. You’re a terrible influence.”

He laughed to himself before backing them out of the parking space, and as they headed down Route 17 back toward I-95, Chase noticed a large billboard on the side of the road, advertising some local news channel. There was a woman in a business suit with her arms folded, her hair perfectly coifed and her makeup flawless, smiling haughtily down at the cars that passed.

“That annoys me,” he said as he gestured out the window, and Andie turned her head, looking in the direction he was pointing.

“What, billboard advertisements?”

“No,” he laughed. “Did you see that woman’s name? Daisy Richards.”

Andie looked at him. “I don’t get it.”

“Did that woman look like a Daisy to you? A Daisy should have pigtails and a teddy bear, not a career in broadcasting and a designer suit.”

“So, the name Daisy pisses you off?”

“No,” he said. “I think it’s a great name. For a five-year-old. Doesn’t really work when you’re talking about a grown woman. I don’t like it when names don’t translate.”

Andie was quiet for a second before she said, “Kind of like Esther? It’s a great name for a grandma, but doesn’t really work for a baby. Or a teenager.”

“Yes, exactly! Or how about Destiny? That’s a stripper’s name, not a baby’s name.” Andie smirked as he added, “Could you imagine having a grandmother named Destiny?” He shook his head. “Nope. Doesn’t work.”

Andie turned to face him, looking thoughtful. “You know what, though? It seems like the ‘translation problems’ only happen with girls’ names. Most boy names automatically translate. Like you’d call a little boy Jimmy, and then he becomes James when he’s older. Or like Mikey. Adorable for a little boy, creepy for a grown man. But then he becomes Michael. Now, Michael? That’s a man’s name.” Andie wagged her finger at Chase as if she had just bestowed some great knowledge upon him.

“What about Chase?”

“What about it?”

“What kind of name is it? A boy’s name? A man’s name?”

When she didn’t answer right away, he added, “A ridiculously hot guy’s name?”

Andie laughed under her breath. “Idiot.”

“And I mean, the name Andie?” He trailed off, baiting her.

“What about it?”

“Well, for a boy it translates. Andy is the kid, and Drew is the man. But for you?”

She turned toward him, her arms folded.

“I can’t make the call, not knowing your real name and all. I mean, if it’s Andrea, that works. That’s versatile. Definitely translates,” he said with a nod. When Andie gave him no response, he said, “Not it, huh? Okay…how about…Andriana?”

She smirked at him before turning back to face the road.

“Not Andriana,” he said to himself. “Hmm, let’s see. Oh, I got it. Andrewina?”

She threw her head back, her laughter ringing through the car, and he found himself fighting his own laughter just so he could listen to the sound of hers.

A day ago he had thought that getting her riled up was enjoyable. But it was nothing compared to making her laugh, or seeing the way her entire face lit up when she smiled a genuine smile. When he could get her to let her guard down like that, even for a second, it almost felt like a reward.

As her laughter died down, Chase looked over at her. She was looking out the passenger window, a small smile on her lips, twirling a piece of her hair between her fingers.

“If you won’t tell me your name, tell me something else about you,” he said, the playfulness leaving his voice.

She turned toward him again. “What, another favorite?”

“No, not a favorite. Just something.” He thought about it for a moment before he said, “Tell me about your job. Did you always want to work for your father?”

“No,” she said with a small laugh. “I majored in English when I was in college. But I practically grew up in that restaurant. I worked there part time as a waitress when I was in high school, and then during my breaks from college, I would come back and train other waitresses, and then that just naturally progressed into being the manager…and so here I am,” she said with a shrug, still absently twirling a strand of her hair.

“So how is that related to your English degree?”

“It’s not.”

He nodded slowly. “Do you think you’ll ever do anything with it?”

She took a deep breath before exhaling in a rush. “I don’t know. I guess I could go back to school and get a teaching degree, teach some courses in language arts.”

“Is that what you wanted to do?”

“No. I wanted to be a writer.”

Chase was quiet for a moment. “So why not do that instead?”

She shrugged. “Because it’s unrealistic. Do you know how hard it is to get an agent, or a publishing house that’s willing to take on your project?”

“I’m sure there would be a lot of rejection involved, but you only need one person to say yes, right?”

Andie scrunched her nose, and he smiled.

“What about self-publishing?” he asked.

She shook her head. “You still have to get a fan base for your stuff. Figure out how to market yourself. Not to mention, I’d have to write an entire novel first. And a good one, at that. It’s just not as simple as you’re making it sound.”

Chase pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, glancing over at her. He knew he had to be careful here.

“Have you tried?” he finally said.

“Tried what?”

“Writing a novel.”

She pulled her brow together as she turned to look out the passenger window again. “No.”

Barely a second passed before she cleared her throat and added, “What about you? Colin said you freelance as a photographer.”

He smiled resignedly, seeing right through her attempt at changing the subject, but he decided to follow her lead. He could sense that pursuing his line of questioning would only cause her to withdraw, and he didn’t want any of that today.

“Yeah, I got into it right after I graduated. I’ve been at it for about four years now.”

She tilted her head at him. “Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.”

She smiled softly. “I just don’t want to seem like I’m being intrusive.”

“If I think you’re being intrusive, I won’t answer,” he laughed.

“Okay, well,” she shifted in her seat to face him, “if you love photography, wouldn’t it be more…I don’t know…stable, if you worked for some kind of studio? Like, doing wedding photos or portraits or something?”

“Nah,” Chase said with a dismissive shake of his head. “I can’t stand that formal photography shit. It’s so contrived.” He glanced in the side mirror as he switched lanes. “In a formal shot, people show you what they want you to see, or what they think you want to see. But in a candid?” He smiled. “You’d be surprised how much a person’s expressions or mannerisms reveal about her when she’s not paying attention.”

Chase could feel her eyes on him, and it was a moment before she spoke again.

“Where did you go to school?”

“Cornell.”

“Really?” she asked, bemused. “I didn’t know they had a photography program.”

“I went to school for veterinary science.”

She fell silent and he smiled, knowing he had shocked her with that little disclosure. He glanced over to see the most endearing combination of surprise and confusion on her face.

“How did you get into photography then?”

“I’ve always been into photography. It’s all I ever wanted to do.”

“Then why did you go to school for something else?”

Chase inhaled deeply, licking his lips, and Andie shook her head. “I’m sorry, I’m asking too many questions.”

“No, you’re not,” he said. It was just that he hadn’t spoken about any of this in so long. But he realized then that he actually wanted to talk about it. More specifically, he wanted to talk about it with her.

“I went to school for veterinary science because my dad would have pretty much disowned me if I went for photography.”

“He didn’t approve?” she asked, and Chase laughed.

“That’s putting it mildly.”

“What did he want you to do?”

“He wanted me to be a doctor, like him. Oh wait, excuse me, a surgeon,” he corrected with a roll of his eyes. “God forbid you referred to him as merely a doctor.”

He shrugged, running his hand through his hair. “I wasn’t interested in being a doctor,” he said, his voice losing the sarcastic edge. “So I picked what I thought would be the next best thing. At least in his eyes.”

“And it wasn’t?” Andie asked, and Chase turned his head to look at her. If he had seen sympathy or pity in her eyes, he would have ended the conversation right there. He didn’t want to be pitied. But the only thing he could find behind those expressive eyes was genuine interest.

“No, it wasn’t,” he said, meeting her gaze before turning back to the road. “He used to send me applications to schools with pre-med programs all the time, with little notes saying it wasn’t too late to change my mind, that he could pull some strings and get me in. I made the dean’s list almost every semester I was there, and you know what he’d say? ‘This will look great on your medical school applications,’” he mimicked, deepening his voice. “Never once did he acknowledge it as its own accomplishment. He would tell people that his son was at Cornell. I guess that was prestigious enough for him, but if they asked what my major was, he’d tell them it was undeclared while I was choosing a med school.” He laughed, shaking his head.

Chase took a deep breath, pulling himself out of the memory. “After a while, I started to think about transferring. I figured med school couldn’t be as bad as being a constant disappointment. But then he left,” he said with an indifferent shrug.

“He left?”

“I’m sorry, I should have been more specific. He moved in with the nurse he’d been screwing behind my mother’s back for three years.”

Andie’s eyes went wide as her mouth dropped a little.

“You know what the messed up thing was, though? For a while after, I kept thinking I should have just gone to med school. That if I had just sucked it up and did what he wanted me to do, he would have been happy, and then he would have stayed.” He looked over at Andie. “But I know that’s not true. He was who he was. Nothing I did was ever gonna be good enough for him.”

Andie sat there with her eyes downcast, fiddling with her fingers. “How old were you?” she asked.

“Nineteen. I was right about to start my third year at Cornell. I almost didn’t go back. I mean shit, the only reason I started that stupid degree was for him. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I worked my ass off there. And I wasn’t gonna let him take that from me. So I finished my degree. That being said, if your dog or ferret or hamster ever gets the flu, you know who to call.”

Andie laughed softly before her expression straightened again. “Do you still talk to him?”

He shook his head. “He calls sometimes. I’m not sure if it’s because his conscience gets the better of him every so often or because he’s bored and just looking to push someone around, but either way, I’m not interested.”

It was silent for a moment before Andie said, “It sounds like you guys were better off without him.”

“I definitely was, that’s for sure. But my mom?” He shook his head. “She was devastated. I never understood why she loved that prick, but she was lost without him. Most of my time was spent taking care of her after that. Just trying to put her back together.”

“Well, I’m glad she had you,” Andie said with such conviction that Chase felt a slight pang in his chest. He smiled gently at her.

“Are you and your mom still close?” she asked.

“She died four years ago.”

He heard the soft intake of breath before she whispered, “Chase. I’m so sorry.”

The ache in his chest intensified. And not because he was talking about his a*shole father, or because he was thinking about his mother. It was because of the way she said those words. It was an automatic response for someone to say they were sorry when a loved one died. It was rote. Robotic, even. A formality.

But the sincerity and the compassion she had injected into those four words washed over him, making him feel entirely vulnerable, yet at the same time, completely at peace.

“You know that thing you said yesterday, about everything happening for a reason?” Chase took a deep breath before he looked over at her. “I never believed that before, but I hope you’re right. I hope it will all make sense to me one day.”

She smiled sadly, and when he noticed her eyes were glassy, he cleared his throat, looking away from her. Chase tightened his hand on the wheel, fighting the overwhelming urge he had to reach over to her.

“There’s a positive to all this, though,” he said, wanting to convince her. “I mean, I spent the first part of my life trying to please my father, and the second part of it living for my mother. And now I don’t live for anyone but myself.”

Andie said nothing, and after a minute, Chase turned to her. “I know that sounds selfish and insensitive, but Dr. Seuss says it’s okay.”

“What?” she asked with a tiny laugh.

“Come on, English major, you’ve never read Dr. Seuss? ‘Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.’” He turned his eyes back to the road. “I do what I want to do. I refuse to hold back what I’m thinking or what I’m feeling anymore. And if someone doesn’t like it, then they don’t need to be in my life. If that makes me an a*shole, then so be it. I don’t want to spend any more time trying to make other people happy. Life is much more enjoyable when you’re surrounded by people who just accept you for you.”

The car grew silent, but he could see her still fiddling with her fingers out of the corner of his eye. “You don’t agree with me,” he finally said.

“No, I do…I just…” She trailed off.

“Are you really going to try and dispute a Seussian point? Isn’t that sacrilegious?”

Andie laughed. “No, I just…I just think that sometimes, it’s better to do what you know is right.”

“Even if that means living according to someone else’s standards? If it means denying yourself happiness?” he asked. “You think that’s better?”

“Well, maybe not better, but it’s…smarter sometimes? Or safer?” She shook her head quickly. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

There it was again, that bizarre reference to being safe.

Chase glanced over at her before he said, “Are you telling me you’ve never done something just for you? For no other reason besides the fact that it was what you wanted? Screw consequences?”

“Yeah, when I went snooping around Justin’s wine cellar. Look how that turned out.”

Chase laughed before he said, “I’m serious, though. You’ve never tossed aside everyone else’s opinions and just went for something you wanted?”

She shrugged, saying nothing as she looked away from him.

He watched her for a moment before he turned his eyes back to the road. He understood what she was trying to say. Christ, hadn’t he told her only yesterday that he’d never known anyone who played by the rules as much as she did? Of course the idea of blowing off other people’s expectations and conventions sounded foreign to her.

But she hadn’t balked at his notion. She hadn’t even mocked it. She just seemed completely terrified by it.

They fell back into an easy silence as he switched lanes. There was the strangest feeling in his chest. He felt…buoyant. There was no other word for it. It felt surprisingly good to talk about that part of his life again. And he realized the reason for that was because he was discussing it with someone who genuinely gave a shit.

He looked over at her; she was completely lost in her thoughts, and Chase noticed the crease between her brows, the one that appeared whenever she was fighting a frown.

He didn’t want her to be frowning. He wanted her to feel the way he felt.

He opened his mouth to speak just as they rounded a bend in the road, and a wide lake appeared on the left. His eyes flashed to the broad expanse of water, and the idea dawned on him almost immediately.

Without even using his blinker, he abruptly pulled the car onto the shoulder.

Andie sat up straight in her seat. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

He unbuckled his belt and got out of the car, walking around to her side. “Come on,” he said as he opened her door.

“What happened? What are we doing?” she asked, confused.

He held one finger up to his lips and then crooked it at her, beckoning her out of the car. She glanced at it and then back up at him, conceding with a small huff as she unbuckled her belt. As soon as she was out of the car, he gripped her wrist, crossing the street and taking her with him.

“Chase,” she said.

“Shh,” he said through a laugh, holding his finger to his lips again as he walked her across the expansive front lawn of the house they had stopped in front of, the only house visible on the long stretch of road they were on. He kept his hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her around the side of the little house and through the backyard.

“I’m going to take a shot in the dark and assume you don’t know these people?” Andie whispered, tripping over her feet in the effort to follow him as she glanced around nervously.

He smiled as he continued to lead her across the yard; the house itself was tiny and quaint, but the property was vast and sprawling, the plush grassy land ending against the shoreline of the wide lake behind it. There was a small dock that extended several feet into the water, and Chase walked them a few steps on to it.

He stopped then, turning to look at her as she took everything in: the deep blue water that rippled slightly in the breeze, the two tiny shapes all the way on the other side that looked like docks belonging to the houses on the opposite shore, the contrasting greens of the grass and the trees, the brilliant blue sky, speckled with feathery wisps of white clouds, the kind of sky that usually only existed in paintings. He should have been looking for his camera.

But all he could look at was her.

She turned toward him in bewilderment. “Okay, so…am I supposed to be having some sort of Bob Ross epiphany or something?”

The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “Not quite,” he said as he reached out and took her hand, intertwining their fingers. She jolted, her posture immediately growing rigid, but before she could fully react, he took off in a run, giving her no choice but to follow.

“Chase!” she screeched right before he ran off the edge of the dock, and the next sound was the substantial splash as they were completely submerged under the cool water.

Their hands immediately broke apart as they both began to swim to the surface, and Chase came up first, a rejuvenated laugh escaping his throat. A second later, Andie broke the surface, gasping loudly as she frantically swiped the water off her face. Her eyes were darting around wildly, her breath coming in short, startled huffs.

Chase was a few feet away from her, treading the water and grinning from ear to ear. She finally made eye contact with him, her expression incredulous. “What the hell was that?” she shrieked.

“That,” he said, flicking his fingers in the water and showering her with droplets, “is called doing something just because you feel like it and not giving a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks.” He smiled at her. “Fun, huh?”

She stared at him for what seemed like forever, saying nothing, until finally she pressed her lips together, stifling the giggle that quickly ballooned into irrepressible, hysterical laughter.

He laughed then, which only made her laugh harder, and in that moment, Chase was overcome with the completely inapt desire to swim over and wrap his arms around her.

But instead, he stayed where he was, treading water and listening to the sounds of their splashes combining with her unrestrained laughter like the most beautiful symphony.