"I don't understand," I said. "She wouldn't care about what happened to Viper. Or I thought she wouldn't. Why would she just up and leave?"
June shook her head, her forehead scrunched up. "It doesn't make sense," she said. "She was upset, though. She sent me away, said she had to make a call. Oh my God, she probably wanted to book a flight or something, right?"
"I...guess." I was still reeling. The River I knew wouldn't have just up and left, walked out of this like it was nothing.
Did I really know her?
It was nothing.
A fling.
With a larger than life actress. Someone famous.
There was no way River Andrews was falling for you. A has been EOD guy. A fucking freak show. Yeah, River Andrews and an amputee.
Forget about her.
"Did she leave a note?" June asked.
"Not one that mattered," I said.
June was silent.
"What favor did you need?" I asked.
She shook her head. "It's Cade," she said. "He has to leave for a while. I wanted to see if River would help me out with Stan while I went to my doctor's appointment tomorrow."
"Is everything okay?" I asked, mentally preoccupied with River, until I saw the tears gathering in June's eyes. She didn't seem like the type to be a crier.
"It has to do with his club," she said.
"His club?"
"He used to be a member of a bike club in LA," she said. "Someone - one of his brothers - Crunch. He's...had a rough time." Her voice cracked. "He - some bad stuff happened out here. Crunch is in trouble now. Cade would do anything for him. He's headed out to LA tonight." She paused, blinking. "I'm sorry. I'm not a crying kind of girl. The pregnancy, it's making me emotional. He'll be all right."
"Cade seems like the kind of guy who can take care of himself," I said.
"He can," she said. "But the last time he was involved in club business, it nearly destroyed him."
"Well, I don't know about biker clubs," I said. "But I do know a bit about brotherhood. And loyalty."
"You're close to your brothers," June said.
I laughed, the sound bitter. "I was talking about my unit," I said. "EOD. Explosive -"
"I know what it is," she said. "Explosive Ordnance Disposal. You were in the Navy."
"Yep."
"I was too, once upon a time," she said. "Cade was in the Marines." She paused. "Funny how the people who aren't even your blood become family, huh?"
And how the people who should be the closest in the world to you were the furthest away, I thought.
"Are you going to go after her?" June asked. It took me a minute to switch gears, to even register she was talking about River.
"Why should I?" I asked. "She made it clear what she thought of me in her note."
"Thought you said the note was nothing important," June said.
"Nothing that matters," I said. "She said what she thought. Said there was an expiration date on us."
June looked thoughtful. "Huh," she said. "She seemed so sincere."
"Guess she's a really good actress," I said.
"Champagne?" The flight attendant paused at my seat.
"Please," I croaked, my voice hoarse. When she returned, I took the glass, my hand trembling, and downed it in one gulp.
The flight attendant paused. "Another?" she asked, and I nodded. "Ms. Andrews?"
"Yes?" I whispered. I looked at her from underneath my sunglasses. I knew I looked pretentious, but I was beyond caring now. My head was pounding.
"Let me know if there's anything else you need," she said. "My daughter is just your biggest fan. She'll be thrilled to know that you were on my flight."
I forced a smile. "Would she like an autograph?"
The flight attendant beamed. "That would be wonderful," she said. "I'll get a pen."
I drifted through the rest of the flight, thinking about Elias. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach, my guts tied up in knots at the thought of going back to my old life.
It was cruel the way life worked sometimes, showing you how things could be, giving you a momentary glimpse of happiness...and then yanking it away once you'd tasted it.
I didn't know how I could go back to my old life.
I didn't know that I wanted to go back to it.
“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You've been moping around here for the past two weeks now," Silas said. "Showing up at the bar and shit. You don't even fucking drink anything, just scare people off with your motherfucking depression."
"Fuck you," I said. "You're a fucking bouncer. Scaring people off is a good thing."
"You even going to tell me what she fucking said?" he asked. "You're so goddamn cryptic about it. You don't say anything about it. I have to find out on one of those gossip sites that she even dumped your fucking ass."
"Nothing to tell," I said. "It happened like you said it would."
"Well, fuck that bitch, then," Silas said. "I mean, I wouldn't want to look at your ugly mug, but still, fuck her."