“What do you mean he used his gun?” he seethes through his teeth.
“To fuck me with. He used his loaded gun and then forced it in my mouth to suck.”
His fingers sink into my skin as he drops his head, and I can see the muscles in his shoulders and back flex in anger as he tightens his grip on me. His words strain when he goes on to ask, “And all the blood on your mouth?”
“He was raping me with his gun in my mouth, but I managed to get away and I bit him.”
“His dick?”
“Yes,” I whimper, and when he looks up at me, I reveal, “I wanted to die. I begged him to shoot me.”
“Don’t you dare think about leaving me,” he scolds.
“He told me you didn’t care what happened to me, that you weren’t coming.”
“I did come for you,” he affirms. “All I could think about was finding you. I was going crazy not knowing how to get to you.”
Grabbing a washcloth, he runs it between my legs and begins to gently clean me. Once he has me washed, he keeps me naked as he helps me up into his bed. Nestled in his sheets with his scent all around me, I want to smile, but I can’t. Regret consumes, hating the darkness I’ve brought to us, wishing I could erase it and go back in time to do it all over again.
“I need you to know something,” he murmurs, wrapping me up in his arms. “I’m not the same as I was.”
But I already know that. It’s evident in his eyes. From the moment he stepped out of his SUV and I knew he was alive, I saw the corruption inside of him.
“I keep trying to process what I did to Bennett, find reason for allowing myself to lose control, but I can’t.”
Reaching my hand to his face, I press my palm against his stubble, and all I can manage to get out is a breathless, “I’ll love you no matter how dark you turn.”
And with that, he finally kisses me, pressing his lips to mine in a fever of emotion that tells me everything that is buried deep within him. His body, heated in bands of roped muscle, rolls on top of me. We’re flesh on flesh, transparent, bare. Scars opened wide for each other to see.
His lips move with mine, opening me up to reunite, claim, and control in carnal ustulation. He growls, rolling his tongue with mine, as I tangle my hands in his hair, savoring his taste.
His cock is thick and hard against me, but the moment he grinds himself over my *, I wince in pain, crying out as I flinch away from him. He tenses above me, and I try pushing him off of me, but he doesn’t budge.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out as he allows me to sit up.
“It’s okay,” he soothes.
“I just—”
“You don’t need to say a word.”
Coming in, he takes my breast into his mouth, sucking my nipple, all the while keeping his eyes pinned to mine as I look down at him. He feasts in primal need and I don’t deny him of his need for closeness in this limited capacity. With my legs bent and spread, he lowers himself on me, dropping his lips to my *.
“Don’t let me hurt you,” he tells me as I run my hands in his hair, fisting it the moment his tongue dips through the seam of my core.
He keeps his touches soft in a very un-Declan-like way that I’m not used to. Dragging his tongue over my clit and then pressing the flat of it against me in slow circles, sending a chill up my spine. Gently, he sucks the bundle of nerves into his mouth. His deep groans vibrate against me, and I know he’s restraining himself, so I grant him permission, saying, “It’s okay. You won’t hurt me.”
As soon as my words are out, he bares his teeth, sinking them into my most tender flesh as I pull his hair. I hiss in a pleasurable pain that only Declan is able to give, and I’m satisfied in knowing he’s content to inflict it upon me. I sink down into the bed when his hot tongue begins fucking my *, dragging in and out of me in torturous delight.
Grabbing on to my hips, he begins to move me over his tongue, up and down, push and pull, forcing me to now fuck his face. Sparks flicker when I close my eyes, and I give in, grinding down on his face, and his approving growls to selfishly take this pleasure he’s offering spurs me on more.
Thighs quiver, hips buck, heart thuds, and I don’t deserve this.
“Stop.”
I push him away and scoot back.
“No,” he barks at me, pulling me back down, wrapping his lips around my clit as he grips his cock and starts jerking himself off.
“Declan, please,” I whimper as he draws me closer to my orgasm, but he ignores me.