“But . . . you hate me.”
“You’re right,” I confirm. “I do hate you, but I love you and that’s not going away.”
“Do you forgive me?”
“No,” I answer, shaking my head.
“Are you done punishing me?”
“No.”
She drops her head, and I immediately cup her cheeks, angling her back to me when I explain, “I don’t know if I’m ever going to get over this—if I’m ever going to get to the point where I don’t want to punish you for what you’ve done. But I need you to understand something; I need you to know that even though you may feel pain, I will never hurt you. I will do everything to give you what was taken from you. I’m going to make you feel safe, I promise you that. No one will ever lay a hand on you again.”
She never allows the tears to fall as I watch her struggle against her emotions, and I know it’s a defense mechanism she uses to protect herself from pain, but she needs to feel it.
“Stop fighting yourself,” I tell her as I hold her in my hands. “I want to see you cry. Don’t hide from me anymore.”
“I’m not a person you should love.”
“Neither am I, but you do, don’t you?”
Nodding her head, she let’s go and weeps, “So much.”
“And I love you,” I say and then gather her in my arms. I hold on to her, listening to her broken breaths before making my selfish request. “Cry, Elizabeth. I want to hear you cry and know that it’s for me.”
She tucks her head into the crook of my neck, and when I feel the wetness of her warm tears dripping onto my skin, I’m satisfied. She’s quiet in her sadness, and her release comforts me. I like knowing that she can hand it over to me and I’m the one getting to soothe her. I know she’s right in that fact that she shouldn’t be loved. Neither of us deserves it, but I can’t help myself when it comes to her. I’ve never been able to curb my addiction to her, even when I thought she was a married woman. I wanted her regardless, and I want her still.
“McKinnon,” Lachlan’s voice hollers out.
“In here,” I shout as I keep a tight hold on Elizabeth.
When he eventually finds his way to us, his voice is disjointed as he takes in the scene before him, uttering, “Holy fuck.”
“Tell me I can trust you,” I say to him, and without a second of hesitation, he responds loyally, “You can trust me.”
“Call the police.”
My arms remains locked around Elizabeth’s trembling body while she continues to silently weep, hiding her head against my chest. Without having to even ask, Lachlan hands me her pants before turning around to make the call.
It doesn’t take long for the authorities to arrive. Elizabeth plays her part as Nina, explaining her husband’s murder and the crimes that Richard was conducting through Bennett’s company. We twist the story, informing them that Richard murdered Bennett after he’d discovered the money laundering. It takes a while to give our statements that clear me of any involvement in the murder I committed.
The medics offer to take Elizabeth to the hospital, but she refuses, fervent that nobody touches her. Before we go, the detective advises us that we may be called in for additional questioning. He hands us his card with his contact information and we leave.
Arriving at the SUV, we climb into the backseat and I pull her onto my lap, cradling her back in my arms.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” I try assuring her, confident that we both just got away with our crimes.
She draws back from me, and I can tell she wants to speak, but she doesn’t. She simply stares at me, and I’m able to look beyond the blood, dirt, bruises, cuts, and tears to see what I fell in love with when I first saw her in my hotel back in the States. I’ll never forget how beautiful she looked at the grand opening of Lotus, standing across the room in a long, midnight-blue gown. She was confident, snarky, and so sure of herself, and in this very moment, I vow to give all those qualities back to her.
Running my hand around the back of her neck and up into her hair, my fingers graze over the scab that remains from when I pulled her hair out. I stop and she turns her head in shame away from me.
“Look at me.”
And when she does, I cup her face once again and swallow against the emotional knot in my throat, saying, “You’re safe with me,” and then move her head to rest against my chest, banding my arms around her.