And then Ellie began peppering me with her rapid-fire questions.
Lunch actually couldn’t have gone any better. Cam was well-mannered, gracious, intelligent, interesting – all the things I knew he was and could be, but I was glad to see that the Nicholses and Joss and Braden could see that too. I also loved that they noticed how close he was to Cole already. They sat together at the table and whenever conversation wasn’t directed at either one of them, they had their heads together, talking quietly about the book Cole was listening to. Apparently Cam had recommended it.
Since Cam shared Braden and Adam’s dry sense of humour, I had no worries that the three guys wouldn’t get on. Braden kept shooting me these teasing smiles that somehow translated into ‘I’m happy for you.’ That was nice. It really was. However, it just amplified the little ghost of anxiety floating around me, groaning at me about what would happen if this ‘thing’ with Cam fell apart.
I’d never received that awful pity and sympathy other people did when they broke up with someone, because no one had ever really taken my feelings for my boyfriends seriously – whether they were serious or not – yet I knew that in this situation there would be agonizing sympathy if Cam walked away, and I wasn’t sure I could handle that.
There I was, already imagining the demise of our relationship.
I needed my head checked.
With Cam’s strong, slightly callused hand in mine, his body close, his voice full of warmth and affection as we strolled down London Road with Cole, I knew I needed my head checked. This was good. We’d only just started and it was good. I wasn’t going to let my mistrust poison this. I wasn’t.
I squeezed Cam’s hand as we walked into our building, his deep voice echoing up the stairwell as he told me about a couple of jobs he’d seen advertised in the paper.
‘You should definitely apply for them,’ I responded, frowning at Cole, who walked upstairs ahead of us, his shoelace flapping against the concrete. He was going to get himself killed. ‘Cole, tie your shoe.’
‘We’re nearly at the flat,’ he argued.
‘Tie your shoe.’
We all stopped and waited for him to follow my instruction.
‘Happy?’ he grunted, continuing upward.
‘When you speak to me like that, baby boy, how can I not be?’
I could hear Cam choke on his laughter behind me, so when we turned on to his landing I was looking back at him. That’s why I slammed into Cole.
‘What the …’ My voice trailed off as I turned sharply to see what the problem was.
The problem was Becca, standing in front of Cam’s door with a carrier bag in her hand.
‘I want my stuff back.’ She thrust the bag out at Cam, who stepped in front of us to approach her. ‘Here’s your shit. You were always careful not to leave much with me, so there’s only a book and your MP3 player.’ Ouch. The hallway fairly echoed with her bitterness.
Guilt immediately assailed me and I pressed close to Cole, who leaned back into me, his stance almost protective. He’d met Becca only once, but he knew who she was and what this situation meant.
Cam calmly took the bag from her. ‘What stuff did you leave?’
She sneered at him. ‘You don’t even care, do you? You broke up with me and then you went home with her.’ She pointed at me like I was trash. ‘Yeah, Malcolm filled me in.’ Her eyes glittered now as she turned to face me. ‘Don’t worry, slut. Malcolm and I made each other feel better last night. Hope that lessens the guilt.’
‘Enough,’ Cam snapped, stepping into Becca’s space. He bristled with anger and Becca was smart enough to slam her mouth closed. ‘Don’t ever speak to her like that again. Understood?’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘Just get me my stuff.’
‘I’ll look around the flat and whatever I find of yours I’ll send to you.’
‘But –’
‘I’ll send it, Becca. We’re done here.’
It was cold of him, but I understood his reaction. I imagined he didn’t want a scene in the hallway where our neighbours could hear and, worse, where Cole could hear. Intimidating her into leaving seemed like the safest option. I moved out of her way as she passed me, but she stopped as she reached me.
‘Are you going to fuck every man I fuck?’
I flinched. ‘Watch your language.’