‘Wha–’
‘Hush.’ His breath whispered against my lips and he lowered his hands until they circled my waist. ‘You feel this too. You’ve felt it since the night we met.’
I couldn’t find my voice, lost in a mixture of exultation that I hadn’t been alone in this from the beginning and anxiety that we were doing something wrong and we’d be caught. I licked my lips nervously.
He took it as an invitation.
My gasp was swallowed by his kiss, his mouth hot as his tongue slid against mine. Stubble scratched my skin as he deepened the kiss, and his right hand glided up my side, over my ribs, until it came to a rest at my breast. His thumb brushed the underside deliberately. My skin immediately caught fire and I reached for him, my arms curling around his neck, drawing him closer. I moaned into his mouth, my heart hammering as my senses went on overload. I could taste coffee on his tongue, smell the scent of his skin, feel his heat, his strength. I was surrounded. And I wanted more.
I forgot where we were.
Who we were.
All I cared about was climbing inside of Cam.
Our grip on each other was almost painful, our kiss hard, wet, desperate.
Right.
Cam groaned, the vibration reverberating in my chest and soaring downward between my legs, and I writhed against him. He got the message, pressing his body deeper against mine, his erection digging into my lower stomach as his legs spread mine farther apart. I whimpered with a want that was out of control and Cam pulled back to stare at my swollen lips. I’d never seen a man so lost in a sexual fog and my sex clenched at the knowledge of the power I had over him, my knickers damp as my body grew ready for him.
Cam nipped at my bottom lip, and then licked the same spot. ‘I’ve fantasized a million times about this mouth,’ he told me hoarsely before crushing my lips against his again.
The embrace was even more out of control than the last one, and when I felt his warm fingers against the inside of my thigh, I deepened the kiss, urging him onward to explore. When I felt his fingers go beneath my underwear, I almost exploded.
His fingers slipped torturously slowly inside me and I cried out against his mouth, my hips jerking against his hand.
Cam dragged his mouth from mine, panting against my neck. ‘If we don’t stop, I’m going to fuck you right here.’
Those words were like a cold shower and I pitched back under the icy blast – guilt and shame I’d never felt before spraying down on me as Cam lifted his head to look at me.
Slowly, as he took in my expression, the sexual haze dissipated from his eyes and I felt the loss of his fingers. ‘Jo …’
I shook my head at him and pushed against his shoulders, trying to fight back the tears. ‘We can’t do this. What are we doing?’
The muscle in Cam’s jaw twitched and he abruptly released me, only to grab me by the upper arms, his expression raw with some unnamed emotion. ‘I’m ending it with Becca. Tonight.’
Tonight? Now? The blood rushed in my ears as panic set in and I realized what he really meant …
‘I know. It’s shit, I know. But I can’t go on like this. I’m not the guy who cheats on his girlfriend. And I can’t continue to be the guy who fucks his girlfriend wishing all the time she was someone else.’
Elation and fear washed over me in equal measure. ‘Cam, I …’
‘You want this. I know you do.’ He pressed his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes, breathing him in. ‘Will you leave Malcolm?’
My muscles locked and I knew Cam felt it, because his grip on my arms tightened.
‘Johanna?’
The truth was, I didn’t know the answer to that question. Walking away from Malcolm wasn’t just about me. It was about me and Cole and our future.
‘You’re telling me you’re going to stay with that guy?’ Cam asked harshly, shaking me a little. ‘You’re going to go through the rest of your life standing at his side at parties, laughing that stupid bloody fake giggle, with your eyes contradicting your mouth every time it opens.’ He pulled back and I almost flinched at the distaste in his eyes. ‘That girl you were out there is not Jo. I don’t know who that is, but she’s an arse who pisses me off. She’s fake, she’s simpering, and she’s a fucking bimbo. She’s not you.’
We were silent, our breathing uneven and loud as we worked to calm the tension between us. Hurt by his words, and yet in agreement with them, I found my mind whirling as I tried to weigh my options, the consequences, what was right and what was wrong.
I took too long to answer.
Cam let go of me and I shivered, feeling instantly cold. I wanted to die at the look he gave me.
Without another word, he reached past me to unlock the door and I found myself unceremoniously moved aside as he wrenched it open and disappeared into the party.