His kiss was warm and sweet, so soft in comparison to the sex we’d just had … like whatever had happened between us had reassured him and taken the edge off.
I remembered Andy telling me he’d never seen Cam so happy as he was with me, and I suddenly felt stupid for having doubted us. For having doubted him. Like a contented kitten, I leaned back on my elbows and watched as Cam pulled his jeans back on. He told me to stay there. He disappeared out of the room and returned a few minutes later with a washcloth. Up until then I’d still felt a little embarrassed whenever Cam helped me clean up after sex, but something had just changed between us and I felt secure again. If possible, even more than I had – I no longer felt embarrassed. I felt … powerful.
I widened my legs with a come-hither smile and his blue eyes flashed at my wickedness.
‘Sexy as fuck,’ he muttered, pressing the cloth between my legs.
My eyelashes fluttered shut at the coolness of it, and I lifted myself a little to help him. Warm lips closed down over mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth. The cloth disappeared, and I cried out into his mouth as two thick fingers slid inside my swollen passage.
I couldn’t take any more.
I shook my head, moaning as I pulled away from him. ‘I can’t.’
Cam disagreed. He pumped his fingers in and out of me, watching my face intently. I had thought that after that huge climax it would take some time to work me up to another, but my body was still tautly strung, and his penetration along with the torturously gentle flick of his thumb against my clit sent me crashing headlong into another orgasm.
It was gentler, but my skin was almost burning with overuse.
‘You’re trying to kill me.’
Cam kissed me again, and I felt the cloth back between my legs.
I was still trembling when he helped me off the desk and eased my jeans back up my legs. I didn’t even bother asking for my underwear. I knew what the answer would be.
After a little while, we were settled on his couch. I lay between his legs, my back against his chest as we watched a movie. I felt relaxed for what felt like the first time in days. I couldn’t actually believe that it was only yesterday we’d bumped into Blair. It felt like it had been preying on me for weeks.
Cam laughed loudly at the telly and I turned my head to smile up into his face. ‘You’re definitely in a better mood today.’
His arm tightened around me. ‘Things are good today. Incredible sex, great company and good friends. Which reminds me, did I tell you I’m having a party next week?’
I smiled and shook my head.
‘Aye, I was telling Nate and Blair about it. I’m inviting everyone around to the flat next weekend. Invite Olivia.’
All I heard was ‘… and Blair about it.’
‘Blair?’
Cam nodded, looking back at the television, his concentration on me waning. ‘I spoke to her this morning just before Nate got here. Thought it would be nice for her to catch up with Nate and Peetie.’
‘I thought you said it was a shock seeing her yesterday?’ I was trying to ignore the banging of my heart against my chest and I really hoped Cam couldn’t feel it.
‘It was. But it was a good shock. Bumping into Blair was just what I needed –’ Cam snorted at the screen. ‘What the hell is he going to do with that?’ His focus on the movie cut him off in midsentence. What did he mean, ‘Bumping into Blair was just what I needed’?
And just like that I was back at square one.
Now was the time to ask him outright how he felt – in plain English – about having Blair back in his life. What did it mean for us? How did he feel about Blair? Was he still in love with her?
Oh, God. Was that what the happy, rough sex was all about?
I felt my chest tighten and I couldn’t breathe.
Was his good mood due to his conversation with Blair? Was he transferring possessive, lovey-dovey thoughts for her to me because I was here and willing?
Or were my big, fat, illogical, psychotic insecurities rearing their ugly heads again and twisting everything around?
‘You okay?’ Cam asked softly, running his hand up and down my arm.
Tell him! Ask him!
But I was terrified. If I asked and he did still love Blair, Cam would feel compelled to tell me the truth and I would have to get up out of his arms and never return to them again.
How pathetic that I could willingly sit with him in a lie just to feel his breath on my ear?
‘I’m fine,’ I whispered softly, snuggling against his chest. I closed my eyes. ‘Just tired.’
His fingers brushed through my hair and I punched back at my insecurities. The sex earlier, the cuddling now – that couldn’t be about anybody but me.
Cam cares.
He really cares.
‘Jo? I know when something’s wrong with you. Your whole body goes tense.’
Dammit!