Diamonds are Forever

CHAPTER NINE




ANNIE was totally disorientated when she woke up the next morning and found herself not in Rufus’s bed or his arms but back in her own room, in her own bed, and by herself.

Rufus must have carried her here some time during the night or early morning. As she sat up in bed she saw her neatly folded clothes—even her blouse and bra—laid on the bedroom chair.

Jessica …

Rufus had been aware, even if Annie hadn’t, that Jessica shouldn’t find them snuggled up in bed together this morning. Or some of Annie’s clothing scattered about the sitting-room!

She stretched in the bed, her body feeling different somehow, still very much aware of the aching pleasure given by Rufus’s hands and lips. Her only regret was that she hadn’t known his full possession. But that might still happen.

What would his behaviour towards her be like this morning? Would he be her employer once again? Or would there be the memory of last night in his eyes too? God, she hoped so. Because she would never forget it! She didn’t think she could bear it if Rufus chose to ignore the passion they had shared so completely—

‘Tea,’ Jessica announced brightly as she entered the bedroom after the briefest of knocks. She put the cup down on the bedside table before sitting on the side of Annie’s bed. ‘Don’t worry, Daddy didn’t make it!’ She grinned teasingly. ‘He’s gone out,’ she added a little wistfully.

Annie frowned at the bedside clock. She had overslept again, but it was still only eight-thirty. Who on earth had Rufus gone to see so early on a Sunday morning? He certainly didn’t strike her as someone who went to church every Sunday morning, regardless.

She sat up to drink her tea, realising as she did so that she was completely naked beneath the covers, pulling the sheet up with her to hide her nudity from Jessica.

‘Where did he go?’ She kept her voice casually unconcerned between sipping at her tea.

Jessica didn’t know. ‘He made a phone call, then said he had to go out. He didn’t say where. Or when he would be back.’

Margaret …

Somehow Annie knew the other woman was the person Rufus had telephoned and then gone out to see.

She closed her eyes, hiding the pain she knew must be evident in their depths. Maybe she had been mistaken last night; maybe Rufus hadn’t drawn back from making love to her because of her innocence; maybe it was the complete opposite: he had been thinking of someone else entirely!

He had gone to Margaret this morning. She knew it as surely as if he had told her so. Oh …!

‘Are you all right, Annie?’ Jessica sounded worried. ‘I didn’t wake you up too suddenly, did I?’

It was as well someone had! She had been lying here daydreaming about Rufus, about last night, about the two of them having a possible future together … How stupid. How totally juvenile. Just because a man made love to you, that didn’t mean he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. She should know; it was usually the opposite! Didn’t she have her own mother as an example of that? And hadn’t Rufus gone to see Margaret this morning …?

She drew in a deep, controlling breath, opening her eyes to smile brightly at Jessica. The last thing she wanted was to alert the child to her inner distress, because if she did Jessica would only tell Rufus—and he would know exactly why she was so upset.

She had to be adult about this. After all, what had really happened between herself and Rufus? For her, everything. But for Rufus, a man of obvious experience, probably very little. She was a conquest, that was all, a willing woman to share his bed. Because the one that he really wanted no longer would!


But all that might have changed by the time he returned, and Annie certainly didn’t want him to think last night had been more important to her than it obviously had to him!

‘No, you didn’t wake me too suddenly,’ she assured Jessica warmly, and the little girl’s worried face instantly cleared. ‘Would you like some pancakes for breakfast?’ She knew they were Jessica’s favourite, the answer a foregone conclusion. ‘Give me ten minutes,’ she requested at Jessica’s eager nod, ‘and I’ll come through to the kitchen and make them.’ It would also give her the privacy to get out of bed without Jessica seeing her nudity.

‘I’ll go and get everything out ready for you,’ Jessica told her with enthusiasm, getting up from the bed to skip out of the room.

Annie fell back against the pillows as soon as she was alone, wishing she had the energy—the happiness!—to skip like that. But with morning had come reality in all its harshness, and last night was starting to seem like a dream.

Maybe it had been? Maybe she hadn’t woken in Rufus’s bed because she had never been there?

But as she got up out of her own bed she knew none of it had been a dream, her nipples slightly tender from Rufus’s ministrations, muscles in her thighs that she had never been aware of before aching slightly, her whole body filled with an unaccustomed lethargy. She might wish it had never happened, but it certainly had.

And when Rufus returned she would have to face him with that knowledge firmly imprinted on her body and mind …!

Jessica had eaten her pancakes, while Annie drank two cups of coffee, by the time they heard the apartment door slam, heralding Rufus’s return. Annie stiffened when she heard the sound, her back turned towards the kitchen door as she started on her third coffee; she was hoping it might wake her up and give her some courage too. She knew that it hadn’t as she heard the kitchen door swing open. Her stomach seemed to drop to the floor, her hand shaking slightly as she carefully put her cup back in its saucer.

‘Daddy!’ Jessica cried her own pleasure at seeing her father, hopping up and down excitedly, the injury to her ankle almost forgotten now.

Annie didn’t move. But she had to. If she didn’t, Rufus would surely realise something was wrong. And she really didn’t want him to know what last night had meant to her. She had some pride.

She drew in a deep, calming breath, turning slowly, shrinking back on the stool as she saw Rufus’s expression. Last night, in the circumstances, was surely regrettable, but it surely wasn’t as bad as all that …? Rufus looked—

‘How soon can you and Jessica be ready to leave for Clifftop House?’ he barked.

Annie was taken aback, both by the coldness of his voice and the question itself. Yesterday he had told them to stock up on food for another couple of days; now it seemed he intended leaving immediately. What had happened between then and now to cause this sudden change of plan?

Last night had happened …

And from Rufus’s arrogantly distant expression it wasn’t even a subject he cared to discuss, let alone repeat!

‘Clifftop?’ Jessica was the one to answer in a woebegone voice. ‘But, daddy, you said—’

‘I know what I said, Jess,’ he bit out. ‘But—circumstances have changed. We’re going back today.’

He didn’t so much as glance at Annie as he mentioned those changed circumstances, but she felt the accusation in the words anyway. Obviously going to bed with his daughter’s nanny—the second one!—had not been on his agenda.

Well, it hadn’t been on hers either—had been the last thing she’d expected to happen this weekend. In the circumstances, she couldn’t wait to leave either, could envisage nothing more painful than spending another couple of days here with the two of them trying to be polite to each other, for Jessica’s sake.

‘Fifteen minutes.’ She stiffly answered his original question, looking in his general direction but her eyes remaining unfocused, the coldness she had seen in his face earlier enough to deter her from looking at him properly.

‘Make it half an hour,’ he told her in short reply. ‘I need a cup of coffee myself before we make the drive back.’

‘I’ll go and pack,’ Annie agreed, making no effort to offer to make his coffee for him; if she didn’t get out of this room soon she was going to make a complete fool of herself by bursting into tears!

‘Annie?’ Rufus reached out to grasp her arm as she would have walked past him out of the room. ‘You’re very pale.’

Probably because for her, unlike him, last night had been unique. It had been wonderful, magical—falling asleep in his arms like no other comfort she had ever known. And briefly—very briefly!—she had imagined being able to do that for the rest of her life.

How naive. How stupid she had been. Last night hadn’t been about for ever. And, far from being considerate of her innocence, Rufus had probably felt like running a mile from her inexperience. He hadn’t been being kind at all, had probably lost interest in making love to her the moment he’d realised she was an inexperienced virgin!

‘We need to talk—’

‘I don’t think so,’ she replied, much more calmly than she felt, moving slightly so that his hand dropped away from her arm. ‘Unless it has to do with going back to Clifftop House?’ she added in a businesslike tone; after all, she did work for this man.

‘No.’ He looked down at her. ‘Believe me, Annie, we do need to talk, and I’m sorry I wasn’t here this morning—’

‘You obviously had important business to attend to,’ she cut in with a warning look in Jessica’s direction. The last thing she wanted was for Jessica to realise Rufus was talking about not being in bed beside her when she woke up. That would just be too awful!

‘It wasn’t business,’ he rasped. ‘But it was important. It still is. And until I sort it out, one way or another, it has to take priority over everything else. Is that going to be okay with you?’ His gaze was suddenly warmly probing now.

And Annie found she couldn’t withstand that warmth, her cheeks no longer pale as she wrenched her own eyes away from his, feeling their heat as she recalled all too vividly how Rufus had looked at her last night, how he had touched and caressed her until she almost shattered in his arms.

‘Perfectly okay with me,’ she told him coolly. ‘I’m just an employee, Rufus; I go where you tell me to go.’

Her chin was wrenched up as Rufus forced her to look at him. His gaze moved searchingly over her face now: the brown eyes that couldn’t hide the hurt she felt, the slightly dark shadows beneath their depths from the lack of sleep she had known in his arms, the mouth she could only just stop from trembling, tears very close now.

‘I don’t believe that for a moment, Annie,’ he said huskily. ‘God, this is all such a damned mess!’ He ran an agitated hand through the dark thickness of his hair. ‘Can you try to be patient with me until I’ve sorted it out?’

Until he had sorted out exactly what his feelings were towards Margaret, he meant! Wasn’t it enough that he had gone to the other woman this morning? There really was nothing to sort out as far as Annie was concerned; she had loved—still loved!—and had most definitely lost! There was nothing else to say. Because no amount of talking could change that …


Once again she moved away from him. ‘We all make mistakes, Rufus,’ she told him evenly. ‘Let’s mark last night down as one.’

‘Is that what it was?’ he demanded. ‘A mistake?’

‘Most definitely!’ She shuddered as she remembered how utterly stupid she had been. In her naiveté she had believed that if Rufus made love with her everything would turn out right between them, but now she accepted that a man could make love to one woman and actually be in love with another one. A man’s emotions didn’t necessarily follow the instincts of his body.

Rufus drew back from her, his expression closed now, totally unreadable. ‘Jessica, go and help Annie pack anything you want to take with you.’

Jessica pulled a face. ‘Does this mean I go back to school tomorrow?’

His expression softened as he looked at his daughter. ‘It most certainly does. The way you’ve been moving around on that ankle the last few days, I think you could run a four-minute mile if you had to!’

‘Oh.’ She pulled another face.

‘Come on, Jessica,’ Annie encouraged. ‘Just think, you can tell Lucy all about your week when you see her tomorrow.’

‘That’s true,’ she acknowledged grudgingly as she crossed the room to join Annie at the doorway without even the slightest of limps.

It took Annie less than ten minutes to pack the few things she had brought with her, but Rufus had said half an hour, and so she took that full half-hour, taking advantage of the spare twenty minutes to apply some make-up to her pale cheeks. The end result was quite pleasing—at least she no longer looked ill, the blusher adding a peachy glow to her cheeks.

The disillusionment in her eyes was something else entirely; she couldn’t hide that with any amount of make-up!

The drive back to Clifftop House was made in almost complete silence, Jessica once again choosing to fall asleep in the back of the car, Rufus stony-faced and lost in thought, Annie immersed in her own private misery.

It was the longest journey she had ever undertaken, not in miles, but in terms of emotional trauma. She had never been as happy to see the gothic proportions of Clifftop House as they turned into the long driveway—not even on the day she’d first come to work here!

That seemed such a very long time ago now …

So much had happened in that last two months. She had thought she had fallen in love once, only to realise Anthony wasn’t the man she thought he was, and then she had really fallen in love, with a man who was everything she thought he was, and more—he was in love with another woman!

She barely waited for Rufus to stop the car in front of the house before getting out onto the gravelled driveway, opening the back door to help Jessica out too.

‘You two go inside; I’ll bring the bags in.’ Rufus stood on the drive too now.

Annie didn’t need any persuading to do exactly that, relieved to at last be away from Rufus. It was going to be difficult staying out of his way for the rest of his visit here, but it was what she intended doing whenever possible. If she didn’t see him, perhaps this ache for him inside her would go away.

Celia was crossing the entrance hall as Annie and Jessica entered the house, the raising of her already arched blonde brows the only outward sign she gave that she was surprised to see them. ‘You’re back,’ she stated smoothly. ‘I didn’t expect you back so soon.’

‘Rufus has some business to attend to.’ Annie was the one to answer her.

‘He is with you, I take it?’ There was a slight edge to her voice. ‘And not still in London?’

‘No, I’m here, Celia,’ Rufus told her evenly as he entered the house with the bags.

Celia looked at him coldly. ‘And which member of staff do you intend to dismiss while you’re here this time?’

Rufus’s eyes narrowed. ‘I take it you’re referring to James?’

‘I am,’ Celia confirmed abruptly.

‘Then I’m afraid you have it all wrong, Celia. I didn’t dismiss James; he decided it was time for him to retire.’

‘Indeed?’ She pursed her lips sceptically. ‘Rather sudden, wasn’t it?’

Rufus sighed. ‘It was his own decision,’ he repeated flatly. ‘He feels Jess’s accident was his fault, and after talking to him I’m inclined to agree with him—’

‘I think we should go to my sitting-room and discuss this in private,’ Celia put in sharply.

Away from her, the listening servant, Annie inwardly surmised. But if, as Rufus said, James had retired because he felt responsible for Jessica’s accident—

‘James has gone?’ Jessica groaned in dismay, turning to her father. ‘Daddy—’

‘As I’ve already told your grandmother—’ he gave Celia a censorious look for having discussed this in front of Jessica in the first place ‘—James feels responsible for your accident. He believes that he didn’t check your horse was saddled properly—’

‘But I should have checked it too,’ Jessica wailed in distress. ‘You always told me to. And I—’

‘Jessica, I think you and I should take our things upstairs,’ Annie encouraged gently, ‘and leave your father and grandmother to talk in private.’

‘But—’

‘Then you can telephone Lucy and tell her you’ll be back at school tomorrow,’ she added lightly at Jessica’s rebellious expression. The little girl could be as stubborn as her father when she chose to be!

‘All right,’ the young girl conceded grudgingly. ‘I’ll see you later, Daddy,’ she added, almost questioningly, as if she had a feeling he might decide to leave after his conversation with her grandmother.

‘You will,’ he confirmed easily. ‘Annie …?’ He stopped her halfway up the wide staircase.

She turned slowly, almost dreading what he was going to say to her. She swallowed hard. ‘Yes?’ Even to her own ears her voice sounded wary.

He smiled, not that mocking grin, or that knowing smile, but with genuine warmth. ‘I’ll see you later, too,’ he told her huskily.

Annie frowned down at him for several long seconds, and then she assented. ‘I’ll be with Jessica.’

They ascended the rest of the stairs unhindered, and Annie, for one, was glad when they reached Jessica’s bedroom. She could finally breathe normally once again. It seemed as if she hadn’t been able to do so for so long. Since she woke up this morning, in fact!

What was she going to do? That was the question she had put off asking herself all day. Even if Rufus went away again soon, he would eventually come back. And then she would have to face him all over again. Still loving him. Because the love she felt for Rufus was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Or, she was sure, would ever feel for anyone again. But Rufus was in love with another woman. A woman who didn’t seem to return his love. What a triangle of misplaced emotions.

‘Can I go downstairs and telephone Lucy now?’

She looked up at Jessica with unfocusing eyes, hadn’t even been aware of the fact that the two of them had unpacked what little Jessica had brought back with her. But they had, and the little girl now wanted to make that promised telephone call. But Annie wasn’t sure whether Rufus and Celia would have moved out of the hallway yet—there had been the light of battle in their eyes!

‘Use the telephone in my bedroom,’ Annie suggested. ‘That way you can talk for as long as you like.’


Jessica was more than happy with this arrangement, running off to Annie’s room to make the call. Leaving Annie on her own again, which was something she didn’t particularly want. She had time to think then. And her thoughts were all of Rufus.

Margaret was still in London, so why, if Rufus was hoping to have the other woman back in his life, had he rushed them all back here? Maybe he had just wanted to get her and Jessica off his hands, and despite what he had said downstairs he would soon be returning to London?

It would make more sense for him to be on his own in the city. Certainly for Annie not to be around. Especially after what had happened between them last night.

Was it really only last night …? It seemed unreal now, almost a dream—or a nightmare! Because that was what all this had now become.

And she couldn’t sit here lost in thought in Jessica’s bedroom for ever! Everything was once again tidy, and there was nothing in here for her to do. A cup of coffee sounded like a good idea. She could bring a drink back up with her for Jessica, too.

But what if Celia and Rufus were still at the bottom of the stairs?

Of course they weren’t; Celia would never have a private conversation with Rufus where one of the servants might overhear them! And, from the angry expressions on both their faces earlier, the conversation between the two Diamonds was going to be very private indeed!

She was right—the area at the bottom of the stairs was empty as she descended, not even the murmur of voices to be heard anywhere in the house—so as least Celia and Rufus weren’t actually shouting at each other. They—

‘Annie …! Thank God!’ An agitated Rufus appeared in the doorway of Celia’s private sitting-room. ‘Dial Emergency and ask for an ambulance to be sent here as soon as possible!’ he told her forcefully, his face pale.

She blinked up at him dazedly. What—? Who—? Surely he and Celia hadn’t actually come to blows?

She didn’t believe that for a moment; Rufus might be many things, but she knew without a doubt that he would never be violent with a woman. So what—?

‘Annie, call the damned ambulance!’ Rufus repeated savagely. ‘Celia has collapsed. I think it may be a heart attack!’