I stared at him, right in the eyes, and read that as truth.
And the pain of that knowledge was so immense, I shifted and my head dropped down, planting itself in his chest because I couldn’t hold it up.
He loved her.
She broke him.
And then he found me.
He fought it.
He left me because she wouldn’t let him go.
So he found a way to let her go and came back.
I made my decision.
I released him and moved off the bed. I took off my clothes while he watched.
Then I again joined him in bed and commenced giving him what he gave me. All I could reach. Kissing. Licking. Sucking. Nipping. Stroking.
When his body was taut, his noises hungry, I moved between his legs, wrapped my fist around his cock, and took him in my mouth.
He growled.
I sucked, licked, glided, pulling him in and out, giving it everything.
“Fuck, Cassie,” he groaned.
I slid his cock up and out of my mouth and looked up his body.
He had his head lifted so he could watch. His arms spread wide, his biceps bulging, the veins in his forearms popping, his face filled with hunger.
I looked into his eyes.
Try me.
“I want something, you’ll give it to me,” I whispered.
“Yes,” he ground out.
I licked my lips then moved my tongue to the base of his engorged cock, now resting on his stomach. I glided my tongue to the tip.
The bed moved with his buck when I finished and the growl rumbled deep, sounding like it came from his gut.
Yes. I wanted something; he’d give it to me. Tethered to the bed, he was proving that to me.
I put a finger light against his anus.
“I want this.”
“Take it,” he said immediately.
I shook my head, bent and lapped at his cock lightly, once, twice, again, and got another growl.
I fought back the pulse between my legs and looked at him again.
Then I went for it.
“Plugged.”
“You gonna suck me off with me full?” he asked gruffly.
Oh my God.
He didn’t say no.
He didn’t say no.
Try me.
I was trying him.
And he was proving himself to me.
“Not off, but I am gonna suck you,” I answered cautiously.
“Then you ride me.”
“That was my plan.”
“Fill me, Cassie, then get on with it.”
“You’re bossy for a guy tied to a bed,” I noted, doing it flippantly and miraculously, considering I felt the area between my legs become drenched just with the idea of taking his ass.
“You think at this moment I won’t wreck your bed to get loose and bury my dick in you, what you’ve been doin’ to me, six months without your body, six months without you, six months of nothing, you think wrong. Plug me. Suck me. And fuck me.”
He wasn’t saying no.
And I wasn’t wasting this opportunity.
“You got it, baby,” I whispered, then stroked his cock from base to tip with my tongue before I moved from the bed.
I had no idea what I was doing, except taking what he did to me as a guide.
So I made fast work of getting what I needed (something he had left when he left me, I thought callously; now I was glad I didn’t have to run to his truck because that would suck).
I came back to the bed and sucked his cock while I prepared him with oil. When I had him ready, I wrapped my hand around his cock, holding it to my mouth while I circled the tip with my tongue and pressed the tip of the plug to his ass.
I stopped circling. “Ready?”
“Do it,” he bit out through clenched teeth.
Suddenly, I was unsure.
He said he would do anything for me; he was using this to prove it, to prove I had his trust, to prove that meant something, to prove my trust meant something to him, to prove he loved me. But was that anything in the sense of doing something he didn’t want?
“Do you want this?”
“Do it,” he rumbled.
I pressed it in a bit.
His head fell back and the headboard moved forward and slammed back into the wall.
Maybe that wasn’t good.
I pulled it out, calling, “Deacon.”
His head jerked forward, his eyes burning, his face filled with need.
At the sight, my nipples tightened and my clit pulsed.
“Plug me, suck me, and fuck me, Cassidy.”
I put the tip to him again. “Tell me when you’re ready for more.”
“Drive it in.”
I blinked.
“Drive it in, Cassidy. Fill me and suck me.”
Oh my God.
My entire body spasmed.
“Are you sure?”
The bed moved with his buck.
“Fill…me.”
I held his eyes and drove it in.
His head shot back and his grunt reverberated around the room as the bed moved again with the violence of his reaction.
“Dea—”
His head shot forward.
“Suck me.”
I bent to him immediately.
I felt him tense all around me, certain the bed would fly apart, all the restricted power of him fighting to be unleashed.
I added a hand and stroked him tight while I sucked him hard, and when I did, I got a deep groan.
He liked this. He was getting off on this.
That knowledge affected me so deeply, I was about to put my hand between my legs or give up and ride him when his voice came at me, guttural.