“You listened,” he stated and jerked the bag at me. “Anything you want. Try me, Cassidy.”
My hand lifted and I didn’t tell it to. Before I could snatch it away, Deacon hooked the handles on my fingers and they curled, catching the bag. Then he stepped backward toward the bed.
“Look in the bag and try me, Cassidy.”
My head bent and I looked in the bag. I stifled my reaction in the varied ways it came to me (and the ways were varied) as I saw the velvet ropes in the bag.
I looked to him to see he had his coat off, it was on the floor, and he was unbuttoning his shirt.
“They’re stronger than yours, hold a man like me,” he stated.
“You can’t heal anything with sex, Deacon,” I shared.
“Wanna bet?” he asked.
“Yep,” I answered.
“You healed me.”
I clamped my mouth shut, shocked, moved, and trying not to let the latter penetrate.
“Gave me what I’m about to give you,” he went on, pulling his shirt off his shoulders, exposing his amazing chest.
With all that, I was trying not to let other things penetrate, primarily what I was feeling between my legs with the knowledge of what he was offering me (not to mention, the vision of his chest).
“Trusted me,” he kept at me. “Trusted me completely by taking me and my shit on and believing in me. But you proved how deep that trust ran by trusting me with that sweet little body of yours, letting me give you what you needed, letting me open up a world for you. You gave me that gift. Then you let me give you a sink.”
I blinked.
“And a mirror,” he continued, toeing off his boots.
“I—”
“Not stupid enough to know I’d win every fight, but you taught me I could take care of a woman again. You taught me I could be trusted with her. You taught me I could make her laugh and smile and you gave me back what it feels like, doin’ that for a woman you love.”
I couldn’t reply. All I could do was let the woman you love part sink deep, powerless to fight it at the same time thinking, God, what had his wife done to him?
His hands went to his belt. “Showed me a strong woman doesn’t need keeping, but feels good to take care of her all the same. Better, you gotta fight for that privilege. You taught me a lot of things, Cassidy,” he finished and then pulled down his jeans.
He straightened and he was hard, beautifully thick and hard, and my mouth watered.
My eyes shot from his cock to his when he whispered, “Try me, baby.”
“You want me to tie you to the bed?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I want you to do whatever you wanna do.”
I stared at him.
He’d walked out on me.
Six months, nothing, leaving me to believe he was married and I was an unwitting adulteress, but an adulteress all the same. Took all his magnificence away and made me feel more lonely than I’d ever felt in my life, lonely in a way that feeling knitted to every muscle, every tendon, making it hard to move, go about my days, all the time forced to fight against it just to be able to breathe.
I should tell him I wanted him to walk away and never come back.
I listened to yours. A million fuckin’ times, I listened to it.
He stood there, Deacon, naked and erect in front of me.
Beautiful war.
My voice moved through the room. “I wanna tie you to the bed.”
Without a second’s delay, he turned and climbed on the bed.
My knees got weak.
I watched in shock, amazement, warmth, and excitement as badass Deacon settled on his back and turned his eyes to me.
“Whatever you want, baby,” he said gently.
God, was I going to do this?
I walked to the bed.
I was going to do this.
I stood at the side and pulled the ropes out.
I didn’t know what I was doing. I was too focused on other things to pay attention when he did it to me, but I climbed into bed.
He instantly offered his arm to me.
My insides started expanding.
I took his wrist and tied it to the bed as best I could, tugging at it hard when I got him fixed. The knot didn’t budge.
With no caressing, no kisses, my eyes never even hitting his face, I did the same to his other wrist and his ankles until he was leashed, spread out before me.
Taking him in, his power and beauty tied there for me, I experienced the quiver to end all quivers, but I fought that too.
I moved to my knees at his side and sucked in a breath before I grabbed his cock perfunctorily, heard his grunt, and finally looked to his face.
I bent over him, my hair curtaining us.
“You hurt me,” I whispered.
“I know, Cassie,” he whispered back.
“I can hurt you now,” I told him, tightening my fist on his cock.
He gritted his teeth at my hold but kept my eyes and relaxed his jaw to reply, “You won’t.”
“You’re sure?”
“Love is trust, Cassie, you taught me that.”
My insides expanded more just as my heart started bleeding.
“She didn’t?” I asked quietly.
“She taught me the other way around.”