“So you just went forward with her anyway?”
“None of us knew you weren’t dead!” I throw my hands up and fight the urge to shake him. “You’re missing the entire point. I’m not wrong here, and neither is Lee. You are. You made your choices, and now you have to handle the fallout.”
He looks at me with fury burning in his eyes.
“I didn’t expect to come home to this shit! You didn’t say a word on the plane.”
My mind spins as I try to find a way to not go to blows. “What did you want me to say? I couldn’t believe it was you. When we were told about the mission, I thought it couldn’t be you—you were dead. We had a part of your body as proof. So when we get to Afghanistan and I realize it is you . . . I’m not sure what the fuck you expected from me, man.” I walk around in circles because there’s still a part of me that’s processing the fact he’s standing here. My brother in arms, my friend who I would’ve traded places with to die instead, is here.
I hope he takes a swing at me. I’ll get a good one in for the dumb move he made screwing around on Natalie. But then I look at him. He’s been home a few days and looks a little better, but the bruises still cover the one side of his body. He’s been broken.
“I love her. I thought about her day in and day out.”
There’s two sides to me, and both are so screwed up I don’t know where to turn. One, he’s alive and he thought he’d come home to the life he left. Two, he doesn’t deserve her. I do. I’m the man he couldn’t be and she loves me. She came to me last night, and I made love to her while he slept. I’m not perfect, but God, if I wouldn’t do anything to make this situation different.
“Look, man, you’ve been through more than I’m sure you’ll ever admit. I get that. But let me be clear: if you’d come home from that mission and Natalie would’ve found out you’d been screwing some froghopper behind her back looking for the next SEAL to hop to, she’d have thrown your ass out.”
“If Natalie chooses because of whatever I did, then I’ll let her go. No matter how much it’ll kill me. But don’t pursue her. I’m asking you as my friend. Give her and I a chance to see if we can mend our family for Aarabelle’s sake.”
The responses roll around in my head. So many things I want to say, but out of respect for Lee and the fact that this man saved my life on more than one occasion, I simply nod. “You really don’t get it?”
“Get what?”
“This isn’t up to you. You don’t get to make demands or requests. I’m not walking away for you. But understand this: I love her. I love Aarabelle. And I’m going to be the man in the end that has them. I don’t think you realize how bad you screwed yourself. So, I’ll give her the time she needs, because I don’t think she knows what end is up. I love her enough not to push her . . . do you?”
“I know her.”
“Not anymore. She’s changed, Aaron. She went through hell and then got kicked when she was already at her lowest. I was there. I saw it, and I won’t let her go down that path again.”
This is the best I can do.
He steps forward. “Fair enough.” Aaron extends his hand. “Thank you for being there for them. I’m grateful.”
No, he’s not. He’s hateful that I got his girl. I grip his hand and we shake. I don’t respond because I’m not sure I can be civil at this point. The urge to tell him to take his request and shove it so far up his ass he sneezes it out is on the tip of my tongue—but I don’t. We have history, and ultimately, I can’t force Lee.
She’s who matters here. And Aarabelle.
I have to sacrifice a part of myself for her and pray in the end she’ll come to me. Even if it means my closest friend will be fucked in the end.
“Hey Sparkles, can I come in?” Mark asks apprehensively.
“I figured they’d send you in first.” I grin as I wave my hand to usher him in. “You’d be the one I’d be more likely to forgive.”
“It’s because we both like to glitter.” Mark flops in the chair and slaps his hands on the side.
“Must be that.”
You can sense the tension in the air, but Mark is probably the best at masking his discomfort. Coming in here today was difficult, but I needed a sense of normalcy. Aaron didn’t notice I’d been gone all night, or if he did, he never said a word.
After I left Liam’s house, I grabbed Aarabelle and cried myself to sleep. I didn’t mean to sleep with him. I honestly just wanted to see him. But once he touched me, it became impossible to stop and there wasn’t even a part of me that wanted to. The lines in the sand are becoming blurred.
Walking in the office was far more difficult than I could’ve expected. Knowing prying eyes and Aaron’s friends surround me makes me want to cower, but I’ve done enough of that. I work here now, and I needed a reprieve.
People’s lives are in my hands—at least that’s my excuse.