“Oh, that’s comforting,” I retort and climb the stairs quickly, hoping he won’t chase me. Or maybe I do hope that.
I enter my room a little giddy. A vacation—with Liam. It’s kind of surreal and completely unexpected. Holy shit, we’re going to have to sleep together. Like sleep—in the same bed. I mean, I wouldn’t want him to sleep on the couch and we’ve been moving so slow with everything sexual, but I don’t know that I’ll be able to be in the same bed. Then, of course, I don’t know that I want to keep going slow. I want him and it’s clear he wants me. I know that my feelings for Liam are real, but still. I’ve only ever been with Aaron and it worries me that I won’t be good.
Panic starts to bubble and I decide I need to focus. I’m getting way ahead of myself here. Packing. That’s all I need to worry about. I’m going to have to smack him for this. Women need days to pack for a trip, not minutes, and that’s when they know where they’re going. I try to make a mental list of all the things I’ll need for Aara and myself.
Piling different clothes on the bed, I start to feel a little better. I have outfits for whatever may happen, and I at least have the beach necessities. Aaron’s closet has all our luggage in it. I haven’t come back to this closet since the day I shredded his clothes. There’s nothing inside of here that I want to open again, but I have to. My hand rests on the door handle and I draw a steadying breath, then open it. It still smells like Aaron. Spice and musk assail my senses and I fight the tears. He’s hurt me so deeply, even from his grave. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask aloud. “I won’t let you destroy me. My heart was yours but you decided it wasn’t good enough so I’m taking it back. I’ll always love you but I’m not yours anymore.” I lean against the door and hope he hears me.
I allow a solitary tear to fall as I grab the suitcase from the top shelf. When I pull it down, I see a torn piece of paper that sits on the floor.
Hesitantly, I squat and grasp the paper. I turn it over afraid of what I might find, but all that’s written is “I’m sorry.”
More questions begin to take shape. “Sorry for what, Aaron? Or to who?” I yell and kick the door closed. The loud smack of the door echoes through the room. Leaning my back against it, I slink to the ground and hold my knees. My head falls forward and I begin to cry. Dissolution of a marriage is always hard. Becoming a widow and having that marriage taken from you is the most difficult thing anyone can imagine, but finding out that marriage was a lie—inexplicable.
“Natalie?” I hear Liam call out. “Are you okay?” I feel his hands touch my arm and I slowly lift my head.
There he stands with Aarabelle in his arms.
“No. Yes. I don’t know,” I say in a hushed voice. I’m trying to hold back the tears. I don’t want him to see me like this. Liam is who I want, but I’m still breaking from Aaron. It’s not fair to either of us.
“Okay, well . . . let’s get packed and we’ll figure it out together.” Liam stands and puts his hand out for me to take.
I place my hand in his and he lifts me up.
Aarabelle begins to clap her hands and I laugh. “You wanna go on vacation, pretty girl?”
She squeals as if she has any clue what I’m saying and I look at Liam.
“Together,” he states again and kisses me on the temple. “Now,” his voice shifts to be more animated. “Someone needs a diaper change and I call not it.”
I shake my head as he holds her out toward me. “No way, you said you’ve got Aarabelle and if we’re in this whole ‘together’ thing,” I say with air quotes, “You’re going to be doing diapers too.” I cross my arms and give him a shit-eating grin.
“Over my dead body, sweetheart.”
I walk over and my tongue glides across my lips. I watch the intake of Liam’s breath, the way his eyes follow my tongue and linger on my lips. He shifts Aarabelle to his other arm and grabs my waist when I get close.
I lean close to his ear and whisper, “No diapers, no naked.” Liam groans and I laugh. “Now, I need to finish. No rope!” I yell as he walks out the door.
“You can’t make the rules,” he yells back and I hear him talk to Aarabelle. “Now, where is Mommy’s duct tape?”
“Okay, now will you tell me where we’re going?” I ask for the thirtieth time. It’s so easy to drive him crazy.
“You’re trying to make me frustrated, but it’s not going to work. I’m highly trained,” Liam throws his arm over the back of my seat. “What can I say? I’m just superior like that.”
I look at him waiting for the smirk or something to let me know he’s kidding. “Superiorly stupid!” I retort.
“Jealous.”
“Of what?” I ask with my jaw hanging.
I wait for him to answer.
And wait.
And wait some more. He continues to drive and looks anywhere but at me. Aarabelle giggles and plays with her toy in the backseat.
This man is maddening.