The dashboard in front of her looked more like something from a helicopter, dials and lights coming to life. She tried to remain calm. Driving hadn’t changed in twenty-two months. She just needed to put the car in gear and push the accelerator. Trembling at the prospect of the simplistic task, she almost ran into the garage door. However, she remembered to push the button, wait for the door to lift, and concentrate on breathing—slowly inhaling and exhaling. The door opened, and cautiously, she proceeded down the driveway. Claire prayed that if anyone saw the car, they would assume it was Eric. At the gates, she again pushed a button, the one she’d seen Eric push many times. At first, they seemed to hesitate, but then the gates swung wide.
She drove toward I-80 and inhaled. It was the sweetest air she’d smelled in almost two years. The clock on the dashboard read 11:16. In forty-four minutes, Tony would expect her in his office. She reasoned that perhaps the web conference would go long, and he wouldn’t notice her absence. Or maybe the phone calls would start, and he would be preoccupied. She knew the truth: Tony could do ten things at once. Come twelve and one second he’d be irritated, by twelve fifteen he’d be fuming. Feeling her heart rate intensify, she wondered what would happen when they reunited. What kind of punishment would he decide is appropriate for this behavior? Feeling her wet palms slide on the leather steering wheel, she chose to not linger on the possibilities. The Mercedes was now heading east on I-80. Her mind searched for possible destinations. Courtney—no, she is out of town. Emily—no, that is the first place Tony would check.
Utilizing her therapy skills she convinced herself this was a deserved break. She also instructed herself to relish the overpowering sensation of freedom, a feeling she hadn’t known in twenty-two months. Slowly, she felt her senses awaken: the countryside looked brighter, the leather seats emitted a stronger aroma, the wheels on the pavement created a soft hum, and the vibration responded to her movement of the wheel. It all invigorated her.
The brilliant dash indicated a full tank of gas. Silently she thanked Eric, momentarily worrying he would suffer because of her actions. She concentrated on the majestic world outside the windows, watching the traffic that consisted mostly of semitrucks. At first, this made Claire uncomfortable, but the Mercedes could weave and pass easily. Before moving to Tony’s she drove a Honda Accord. It was a good car, but the Mercedes felt like driving a cloud. Then the clock caught her eye, 12:11. She started to wonder what was happening at home, Would he be looking for her or sending someone else to look? All Claire could do now was drive and think. She loved him but the constant pressure was wearing on her. She just needed a break.
Taking the bypass around Davenport, she decided to go south on 74, away from NYC. At 3:30 she passed Peoria, Illinois. The emptiness in her stomach reminded her that she hadn’t stopped since she left the estate. She desperately needed a restroom and some food. In the distance she spotted golden arches. French fries sounded wonderful. She hadn’t eaten fast food in almost two years. Claire turned the wheel and eased into the McDonald’s parking lot. Contemplating her order she realized she didn’t have money. Oh well, the restroom was free.
If she had planned this excursion, she would have grabbed a coat and her purse. More than likely Tony had her ID and credit card, but for appearances she usually had cash in her wallet. The overpowering aroma of fries lingered on her clothes as she got back into the car. Wondering about money, she saw her wedding rings. Of course, she wore hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. She just needed to sell some. How does one sell jewelry? And where?
Back on the interstate Claire decided to take 155 South to 55. That wasn’t a good decision, 155 traveled slowly. When she finally reached 55 the signs said to Springfield and to St. Louis. It had been so long since she actually made decisions. She was lightheaded with independence or perhaps hunger.
Time passed. The sun started to fade and dusk loomed on the horizon. The loss of sunlight produced a similar effect on Claire’s mind. Her lightheadedness dissolved into reality. She knew without a doubt she needed to turn around. Tony would be upset and there would be a punishment, a consequence for this action. But she couldn’t keep going. First she needed cash. Second, what would the press say? Tony wouldn’t be happy if her leaving became public. Trepidation filled every ounce of her being as she watched for a place to turn around. There was another exit two miles ahead according to the sign.
Suddenly, questions swirled through her mind. Is there enough gas to get home? What will Tony do? Whatever punishment he chose, she decided, she deserved. She’d been impulsive and broken his rules. The small break was exhilarating, but it was time to face the consequences. There wasn’t another choice. If she had her cell phone she would call and tell him that she was on her way home. She would beg his forgiveness and plead temporary impulsive stupidity.
Lost in thought, she didn’t see the flashing lights until they were directly behind her. Once she noticed them, she assumed they would pass. She wasn’t speeding. But the police car didn’t pass. Did Tony send them after her? How did they find her? Pulling over she remembered the GPS. Had she really thought she could go unmonitored? She appeared casual as the policeman approached her window.