She hurried to find Eric. Claire asked Catherine about Eric’s whereabouts and explained she would be in the backyard if Mr. Rawlings needed her before noon. Catherine directed Claire to Eric’s apartment attached to the main garage. She started back toward the garages, a walk she rarely took. She didn’t drive, and when she went anywhere Eric or Tony picked her up at the front door.
The walkway between the main house and garages was beautiful. The windows, on both sides continued the full length of the hall and were so clear they seemed invisible. She looked at the sky and thought about her sister and brother-in-law. Emily sounded so distraught on the phone last night. The fact Tony reminded her to call was a miracle in itself. The fact that she spoke on speaker phone was expected. Claire couldn’t believe that John was actually in jail. The charges of embezzlement and fictitious client billing were ludicrous. John would never cheat on a test, much less do any of these things. That was what made John such an amazing attorney, he was honest beyond honest. Claire tried to reassure Emily. She wanted to go to her and help. However, Tony would never allow that. Perhaps she could send money for John’s defense. After all, wasn’t Tony telling her all the time how much capital she possessed? If money wasn’t good for accomplishing what you want, what good was it?
Her thoughts quickly changed to the beautiful cars as she entered the garages. Tony definitely liked his cars. Claire knew they had multiple new ones since her arrival. It was too bad she didn’t drive. Sighing, she thought, It has been almost two years.
Light filtered from under the apartment door as Claire knocked. Eric immediately answered. What she could see of his apartment looked like a nicely decorated living room with a dining area attached. “Yes, Mrs. Rawlings, may I help you?”
“Eric, Mr. Rawlings said there are some contracts at his Iowa City office that he must have by one o’clock. If you go immediately you will be back in time.” As Claire spoke, Eric grabbed his coat and hat. He unlocked a cabinet on the wall that contained keys to all the cars, took out the keys to the BMW 7 Series, and shut the cabinet.
Hurriedly Eric looked at his watch. “Ma’am, tell Mr. Rawlings I will be back before twelve thirty.” He got into the car.
“I will, drive safely.” Claire figured it could wait until she saw him at noon. As Eric pulled out of the garage Claire noticed the key cabinet. It did not shut properly, revealing the keys to multiple cars. Suddenly nervous, Claire contemplated the keys. She should shut the cabinet. Then she could go out to the backyard for air. Or she could take a set of keys and drive to as much air as she wanted. She wasn’t thinking air for a lifetime, only enough air to breathe.
The decision took only seconds yet it seemed like an eternity. She reached in and grabbed the first set she touched and hit the clicker. The lights on the Mercedes Benz flashed. In the midst of unpredictability she did her best to be stable and obedient. This sudden impulsiveness filled her with excitement and fear. Before she could talk herself out of it, she sat in the car, smelled the new car aroma, felt the leather steering wheel, and turned the key.
Her motivation was not to leave Tony forever. It was just that she felt smothered. The constant monitoring, censoring, and controlling added to her sense of psychological instability. And the different Tonys added another dimension to her suffocation. A brief reprieve or a momentary freedom would help her sanity. Besides, she told him a year ago she liked to drive. That is all she wanted to do, drive.
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
—Thomas Jefferson
Chapter 47