Composing Love

He grinned. “Okay, hey. How about we quit talking about my sister while we’re on a date??”


She laughed, and after that the conversation was much more relaxed. They talked more about math and music, and she realized that there was a lot of overlap in their fields. Many of the basic principles she applied to composing a song could be represented by mathematical equations. When she talked about her music, Chris understood everything she was saying.

When the bill came, Minh was surprised to realize that nearly two hours had passed since they’d sat down. Chris paid, despite her protests, and she couldn’t help but think that in some ways he was pretty traditional. If only he could see that. It was as though, in his fight against conformity, he was all too often fighting himself.

Was that what he was trying to protect himself from? Himself?

Balance. He needs balance in his life.

She’d said it earlier, but she thought it again as they stood up and walked outside.

And what about you?

She wondered. It had been bothering her all week, this fear that maybe she was missing out on things by being too rigid. And tonight, too, she’d ended up putting down her own sister, because she’d come to value sticking to a single path above everything else. The irony that it was her mistake, the one that had pulled Kieu down, in the first place, that had made her cling so tightly to the rules, wasn’t lost on her.

Chris turned to face her on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant, hands in his pockets. “Well.”

She smiled. “Well.”

“So…thanks for the date.”

He didn’t say anything else, and the silence grew until she simply couldn’t help it. Just blurted out, “What’s next?”

What’s next? Your rules don’t allow for a “next” after a first date. What’s next is that you go home.

But I’ve already broken the rules by kissing him before the date. Do they even still apply now?

But before she could respond to herself, he asked, “Want to come home with me?”

She blinked at him. Did she?

God. Yes.

But it was still difficult for her to say the words. “I-I do. I mean, I’d like to spend more time with you. But I’m not sure—”

He interrupted her, but his voice was soft. “Look. Have you ever considered that, maybe, you don’t need to do everything by the book? That it might not kill you to try something a little different?”

She struggled for a second, at least attempting to remember why rules were so important. “Rules keep us safe,” she whispered.

But he merely grinned, flirty and youthful. “Rules are made to be broken.”

She shifted her eyes to the side. “Not all of them. I mean…there’s this other rule I have.”

“Which is?”

She gulped, fighting down the embarrassment. “I don’t have sex on the first date.”

He didn’t so much as bat an eye. Just shrugged, that grin still on his face. “Okay. Then we won’t. You can come home with me, and we don’t have to do anything. We can hang out and watch a movie, if you want.”

“But—” He’d been talking about rules being made to be broken, and she’d thought…

He took her hands and stepped back. “Why don’t we both do things a little differently tonight? You know, let go and see what happens, just for a few hours.”

Could she do it? Let go, just this once? It’s not like it would be forever. It wouldn’t change who she was. It wouldn’t hurt anyone…

He dropped his voice and leaned in close. “And who knows? Maybe we’ll end up somewhere in the middle.”

The middle. Balance. She smiled. “Okay, then. Lead the way.”



He hadn’t expected to, but he’d had a good time letting her take the lead with their conversation tonight. He was so used to setting the pace that he’d forgotten how good it could feel when he could relax and trust someone else for a while. A part of him had still felt a little guarded, after that weird phone call she’d gotten just before they left the office, but he’d let it go and allowed himself to enjoy being with her.

When he opened the door to his place and ushered her inside, he hoped that she would end up in his bed. But he didn’t expect her to be kissing him even before he could close the door behind them.

Oh, shit. Yeah. He wanted her so bad, he could barely move. They weren’t going to make it even to the couch, much less the bed, if this kept up for much longer. He turned, pressing her against the wall and delving deep with his tongue, but thank God one of them was at least partly functioning, because she pushed at him until their lips parted long enough for her to ask, “Where’s your bedroom?”

Fuck. She wanted to go to his room? That meant—no, wait…did that mean she wanted to have sex with him? He tried to get his body to calm long enough to form a coherent thought.

“Minh, I’m not trying to be an asshole. But you were just talking about your rules so I have to ask, are you sure?”

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