“Who were those guys?” I asked finally.
“Nobody,” he said. But I could feel his shoulders tense. “They were just some guys asking questions about the gym.”
“What kind of questions?”
“Just questions.”
I turned around so that I was facing him. We looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment. It was a standoff. If I let him off the hook and didn’t make him answer me, I was setting a precedent that it was okay to keep things from me. If he answered, then he was letting me in.
I didn’t want to blink first. But I could tell he didn’t, either.
So I did a half-blink. “It’s just… I feel like every time you let me in just a little bit, I get shut out again. It’s like we take one step forward and then two steps back.”
“That’s not true.” He kissed me softly on the lips, his fingers sliding into my belt loops and pulling my hips against his. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you except forward.”
Then tell me why those men were at your apartment this morning.”
He sighed. “They were FBI agents.”
A pulse of fear rocketed through me. “Oh.” I kept my voice deliberately calm.
The last thing I wanted to do was freak out and act like I couldn’t handle the shit he was telling me. He’d never tell me anything again. “And?”
“They’re worried that The Slaughterhouse is involved in illegal drugs, so they want me to help them figure out if it’s true.”
My heart thumped in my chest. “What kind of illegal drugs?”
“Steroids.”
“Oh.” I swallowed. “You’re not…”
“I’m not what?”
“Doing them?”
“No, I’m not doing them. Jesus, Lindsay.”
“Okay, okay.” I paused and thought about it for a second. “So are you going to help them?”
“I don’t know.”
“Justin, if there’s shady stuff going on at the gym, you shouldn’t be a part of it. It could hurt your career.”
“So could being a snitch.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
But before I could figure it out, the door to my room opened.
The light flicked on.
“Oh!” Rachel said. She dropped her keys on her desk. “I didn’t think anyone was here.” She tilted her head and gave us a playful little smile. “Well, I guess it’s payback for you walking in on us the other morning. Although not really, since you two at least have your clothes on.” Adam stepped into the room behind her, and Rachel elbowed him, like the two of them were in on a private joke. When Adam saw me, his eyes darkened.
Justin looked at me questioningly. I hadn’t told him about Adam and Rachel.
And I’d certainly never told him about the flowers. Justin already hated Adam. If I told him Adam had sent me flowers, who knew what Justin would do? Guilt flashed through me as I realized I was expecting Justin to tell me everything, while at the same time choosing to deliberately keep things from him.
“What are you guys doing now?” Rachel asked. “Were you sleeping? ‘Cause we were going to go get dinner if you want to come with.”
“Um, no, that’s okay,” I said quickly. I couldn’t stand the thought of the four of us having dinner together. Talk about awkward.
“I have plans,” Justin said. Which was news to me.
Adam gave a snort. “What kind of plans?” He was talking to Justin, but his eyes were on me.
“Why don’t you just mind your own business, kid,” Justin said, not really looking at him.
“Or maybe you don’t have any real plans,” Adam said. Then he muttered,
“except maybe getting beat up again.”
Justin was out of bed and standing up in a flash. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.” Adam shrugged. “It’s just that you seemed like you got pretty beat up this past weekend, so I was hoping your plans didn’t involve any more fights.”
“My plans don’t involve a fight,” Justin said. He bent down and put his sneakers on and then stood back up. “But I’m willing to change that if I have to.” He took a step toward Adam and squared his shoulders. “And don’t worry -- this time I won’t lose.”
“Um, so where are you guys going to eat?” I said quickly and jumped off my bed.
I stood in front of Justin and tried to pretend nothing was happening. “Because I’m kind of hungry. You know, on second thought.” I was babbling, but I didn’t care. I needed to diffuse the situation before either a) Justin punched Adam, or b) Rachel somehow got wind of the fact that Adam was being weird and it might have something to do with me.
But it turned out I didn’t have to worry about either of those things.
Because at just that moment, Justin’s phone buzzed loudly.
He pulled it out of his pocket, looked down, and frowned at some text he’d gotten.
“I have to go,” he said.
“Oh.” I swallowed. “Um, okay. Should I … I mean, do you want me to go with you?”
“No.” He turned and walked out the door, pushing against Adam’s shoulder roughly as he went.
“Wow,” Rachel said as our room door closed behind him. “Where’s he off to in such a hurry?”
“I have no idea.” I sighed and threw myself back on my bed.
One step forward.
And two steps back.
JUSTIN