Campbell_Book One

Chapter 22




January 2003

Los Angeles, West



“It’s your birthday,” Tal said thoughtfully, wishing he’d planned something that would somehow mark the occasion as magnificently as her parents had done for Leah’s older sister a few years before. “We should be doing more than this.”

“Yours is next month,” she replied with a shrug. “I guess we’re adults now.”

“I guess so,” he said, as he continued chopping tomatoes for the omelets they’d started making for dinner. “What does that even mean?”

“I wish someone was here to tell us,” she said with a wry smile. “Wouldn’t that be nice.”

He ducked out of the kitchen and returned a minute later with a bottle of Kosher wine from his dad’s cellar. “Mazel Tov,” he said, reaching for the corkscrew.

It took the two of them twenty minutes to get the cork out, finally resorting to shoving it into the bottle.

“We’re terrible grownups,” Leah giggled, as he poured them both a large glass.

“It’s been a hell of a year, Schmidt,” Tal said, raising his glass. “To those that didn’t live to see it.”

“And to much better ones ahead,” she added, taking a sip. “And to gun control.”

They both looked at each other solemnly. They didn’t really talk about Rachel anymore. Tal leaned over and kissed her forehead.

“Do you want to go watch something we weren’t allowed to watch before, since we’re adults now?”

“We do that all the time,” she replied, blinking back a tear. “But sure.”

American Psycho was selected from the huge collection of the most current movies Tal had amassed over the last year, and since their glasses were large and the wine was good, by the time the infamous sex scene played, inhibitions were dangerously low.

It started with a kiss, deeper than any either of them had experienced, and when Leah straddled his lap, morality took a back seat to sensation as she pushed against him.

“I love you,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”

She was everything to him. The reason he wanted to go on most days. All he had left.

“I love you too,” he murmured back, groaning as she palmed him through his sweatpants. The sensation was unexpected, and it felt good. Really good. Tal had no idea what he was doing as he picked his cousin up, and their lips still pressed together and he carried her to his room. They fumbled a bit, ignoring every opportunity to make an excuse to stop.

“Happy Birthday,” he murmured, dropping her onto his bed.

“Thanks,” she whispered back, pulling him on top of her.



November 2012

Los Angeles, West



“I’ll stay,” Rika said, her voice low. “But we take him down quick, and we deal with the consequences. I can’t live in limbo like this. I feel like he’s playing cat and mouse.”

Tal nodded. “I agree. I think he’s onto us though. Or he thinks he’s onto us.”

“Of course he is,” she replied tersely, sipping her tea in the early morning light. “But it’s hard to say how much. Or he thinks you’re balls deep in me, like some a*shole. We need to know what he knows.”

“I think he knew we were in Campbell.”

Lucy sat down beside them at Rika’s breakfast bar. “No, he didn’t. East did. I called Cara, and Craig was working for East. They knew you were there, not Connor. They thought you were working out some sort of alliance.”

“How do you know?” Rika asked curtly.

Lucy raised her eyebrows. “We know. Cara’s…” She looked up thoughtfully. “Convincing when she wants to be.”

Tal breathed a deep sigh of relief, knowing things weren’t even more complicated.

Rika raised her hand. “Okay, so, so far, we know that your brother is tearing East a new a*shole in their territory, Vegas—through East—is tearing us one in Arizona, and the rest is hearsay and guesses.”

“Right,” Lucy nodded. “But through educated guesswork, we think that Connor was responsible for our kidnapping, and my assault, and he possibly killed my brother.”

Rika looked at her thoughtfully. “You think he did that?”

Nodding, Lucy took the cup of coffee Rika offered her. “I think he’s trying to direct our attentions towards East, and he’s succeeded, to his benefit. They won’t be able to supply Vegas the way they would if they weren’t fighting on two fronts.”

“Who leads in East?” Tal asked, hoping someone knew more about East than he did. Connor had always been the diplomat out of the two of them, and Tal had paid little attention. East with their crazy job skill aptitude tests had always been too weird for him to pay too much attention to.

Lucy pulled her map out of her back pocket and pointed to some lines she’d drawn. “It’s a group. A council. Two from the north, two from the south, and one from the middle to break tie votes. The group changes often, but the rules regarding everything else have been the same for almost a decade. If you kill a group member, you take their place.”

“But you have to be from the north to kill someone from the north?” Rika shook her head. “That’s very complicated.”

“I agree,” she said. “But that’s how we heard they do it. We think Sugar-in-the-Gas-Tank Craig worked for someone named Ruddy from the north.” Lucy pointed at old Maine. “From there.”

“Who’s on their council.”

“Presumably.” She looked around at the sleeping Mexicans on the living room floor. “Tal, we’re going to your house. I want to hear what your cousin’s told Connor—”


“I saw her yesterday. She’s told him that Tal’s been here with me.” Rika said. “Which might explain the broken windows, now that I think of it.”

Tal nodded. “Two birds with one stone.”

“She’s been providing him with money. A lot of money.” Rika stood and pulled out a list of expenditures. “She’s been keeping track and forging your signature, but I think she’s doing it so he won’t question where Tal is, not because she wants to help him.”

“So you don’t think she’s on Connor’s side?” Lucy asked, focusing on Rika.

“I think when push comes to shove, she’ll back Tal. She’s family.” Rika reached for her cigarettes. “But I don’t know how much damage she’s done. She’s all over the place. She’s had a rough couple of months.”

“We’ll go see her,” Tal said, glancing at Lucy. “See if we can figure her out.”

“She might know more than we’re giving her credit for,” Lucy replied. “She did have a whole week where she thought you were gone, and as Riki—”

“Rika,” she corrected.

“As Rika has just told us, she scares easily and feels the need to tie her fortunes to someone else.” Lucy took the muffin she was offered. “I think she’s the key.”

Tal found Lucy’s put-on coldness amusing after the night they’d shared. He knew she’d never make it in Hollywood. She was a terrible actress.

“And I think she’s nothing,” Rika replied, hugging her coffee mug. “I think we need to focus on bigger things.”



***



Later that morning, two of them walked the mile to Tal’s house, bags on their backs, like they were on some sort of excursion. Not many words were exchanged between them besides the direction to walk, from Tal, which got a nod in return.

“My place is about five minutes from here,” he said quietly. “On the left.”

“Okay,” she nodded, giving him a half smile.

He brushed her hand and nodded at a hedge, which blocked a giant burnt-out shell of a mansion. “Come here for a minute.”

Lucy followed him, and they sat out of sight of the road, under an avocado tree, heavy with fruit. It was hot, but the tree provided adequate shade for what Tal had in mind.

“I’ve never had an avocado,” Lucy whispered.

Tal reached up and picked her a large one. “It’s not ripe yet. It’ll need a few days.” He reached into his book bag. “I brought something to show you at the house, and since I’m not sure I’ll get another chance, I thought I’d do it now.”

Lucy looked thoughtfully at the large red book he pulled out of his bag.

“This is my family,” he said, putting the album in front of them. “My mom, she did these albums. One a year. It’s important to remember, I think.”

The first shot was of him and his oldest brother. They were sitting by the pool, feet dangling. Lucy slid in closer and smiled. She’d been in relationships, and this, whatever this was in its early days, it was different. It wasn’t about sex, and it wasn’t about what she could do for him. It just was. They just were.

She found herself coveting every minute they had.

“Look how young you were.” She smiled. “Just a little guy.”

Tal nodded and pointed at his brother. “This is Adam. He would have probably been a doctor, like my grandpa. He always liked science.”

“He looks like you,” Lucy said with a grin.

“We looked the most alike. My other brother Rob, he had this weird red hair that was a strange recessive trait on my mother’s side.” Tal turned the page and pointed to him. “People didn’t always think we were brothers. That’s my dad.”

Lucy smiled brightly. “He’s you, with less hair. And that’s your mom.” She recognized her immediately. Tal had her eyes, especially when he smiled. “She’s beautiful.”

“You would have liked her, I think,” Tal said. “And I think she would have liked you.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s something in you that would have reminded her of herself when she was our age. I’m sure of it.”

“Was she sexually confused with way too much responsibility?” Lucy smiled.

Tal shook his head and laughed. “No, but she was very independent, and she cared deeply about others. She would have recognized your strength, because not everyone that’s been through what you have ends up like you are.”

“This was your line when you came to see me?” she chuckled, taking in picture after picture. They looked like a family from a television show.

“I didn’t have a line,” Tal admitted. “I needed to know you’d be okay though.”

Lucy’s eyes darted around before tugging Tal to the ground so they were nose to nose. “You’re smarter than Connor, you know,” she whispered, brushing her lips against his, happy to ignore the urgency of their current situation and pretend life was different for a few moments longer.

“I hope so.”

“I’m sorry…I didn’t last night.” Her brow furrowed tightly when she thought about him vanishing to the bathroom wordlessly when she froze up ten minutes after she took her shirt off. “I just…It’s not you—”

“I know,” he nodded. She wrestled with her reaction then versus the way she felt in that moment, comfortable and affectionately propped up on his chest. “It’s fine, I know, and it’s okay.”

“We’ll find time. We’ll make time.” She kissed his neck. “And it’ll be a bit of good, just for us.”

Lucy unrumpled herself about an hour later, checking her reflection in the rearview of a rusted out Jaguar in the driveway of the burnt down house. Her mouth looked puffy; well-loved. Things were less stressful in the light, she decided. Less room for her imagination to step in.

Tal chuckled at her changing her expression in the small mirror. “What a bitch-face. Let’s go feel my cousin out.”

“There are so many jokes I could make,” Lucy chuckled, holding his hand until they reached the road. “But I won’t.”

“Hey, I haven’t so much as touched her since I got back. I stuck to my guns, Zoey-f*cker.”

She pushed him. The look before she cracked up laughing left him looking terrified. “Subtle. You think you’re funny, Bauman?”

Lucy glared as he playfully grabbed her ass. “I think you’re funny, Campbell.”

Tal’s house was huge, Lucy thought to herself. Massive, but run-down and in serious need of a paint-job. She hung back as he fumbled with his keys and let himself in. She stepped in after him and looked around at the massive entryway and the elaborate staircase. Even after ten years of half-ass repairs, it was easily the nicest house she’d ever been in.

“You’re back. You’re back,” the cousin, beautiful of course, with a mane of shiny dark hair and a perfect petite figure, squealed, wrapping her arms around Tal affectionately. It hit Lucy in the gut. “Shit, I almost didn’t think you were coming back.”

Tal reached for her shoulders and looked at her very seriously. “I need you to tell me everything.”

“Who’s she?” Leah asked, noticing Lucy as she set her bag down and locked the front door.

“That’s Lucy Campbell.”


“Oh,” Leah said, defeated. “Lucy Campbell. Hi.”

Lucy gave her a half smile, which was more like a weak frown. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she replied, glancing at Tal, whose poker face Lucy found impressive. “I ran everything by Rika. All the money. He’s needed a lot of it, and he’s been pretty pissed that you’re not around.”

“It was only two nights.”

“I convinced him you were with Rika when he called. I don’t know if he bought it.” She nervously twisted her hair and shook her head. “I don’t think he bought it.”

“So what does he think then?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I’m going to call him.” Tal decided. “Just…” He raised his eyebrows at Lucy. “Just wait here.”

Being left with Tal’s cousin was incredibly awkward. Leah didn’t make it any better by sizing her up and down, then turning her nose up at her as she took a seat in an armchair.

“I wasn’t expecting you to come back with him.”

“I don’t trust you,” Lucy said bluntly, sitting on a worn couch. “And anyone that would f*ck their own family over, after everything that’s happened, is the lowest of the low.”

Leah blinked at her, obviously stunned at her candor. “I…I didn’t do anything. What are you—”

“I also don’t like girls that spread their legs to get ahead.”

She gasped, her jaw agape. “He told you that?”

Lucy shrugged. “Look. I know so many girls like you, and I don’t trust you. But your cousin is important, so I’ll tolerate you.”

“He’s important? You’ll tolerate me because he’s important?” She raised her eyebrows, her expression darkening. “You don’t know a thing about me, or him.”

“I disagree,” Lucy said with a frown. “I know that I prefer him to Wilde. For my purposes, he’s the better of two evils.”

Lucy hoped Leah was buying her callous act. She didn’t think she was very convincing and felt like she was going soft over a boy. Like she was turning into a girl. A girl that liked boys. She shook it off.

Leah’s mouth tensed and she balled her hands into fists by her sides. “Well, I’m not going to f*ck Tal over, like you seem to think. I’ve been covering for him.” Her tone grew sharper and she sat down opposite Lucy. “And you don’t know anything about our relationship if you think I’d ever do anything to hurt him. You’re also in my house, and if you’re going to come in here and talk to me like that, you’re not going to stay. You might be a big deal where you come from, but here, you’re a low-brow hick with a bad haircut.”

Lucy realized quickly that Leah wasn’t exactly the pushover she’d taken her for. She wasn’t exactly, well, Lucy, but she also wasn’t about to cower in the corner when pressed a little. She trusted her even less with that realization.

“Connor’s fine,” Tal said, emerging from his office and flopping down on the opposite end of the couch from Lucy, as far away as he could get. “He thinks I’m very serious about Rika, but for our purposes, that’s all right.”

Leah went off to the kitchen and returned with a large ledger. “Okay, so he’s requested four hundred so far.”

Tal nodded as he flipped to the last page in what Lucy presumed were his books and nodded noncommittally. “Not bad. Not good, but not bad.”

It took a minute for Lucy to process how much money they meant.

“He’s asked for almost a half a million dollars in two days?” Her eyebrows shot up.

“He is fighting a war,” Leah shrugged nonchalantly. “Weapons don’t come cheap.”

“I’m going to cut him off, next time he asks. That should get him back here pretty quick, then we seize power.” Tal stretched out and put his feet on the coffee table.

Lucy was surprised at both of their reactions. “Why are you so calm about this? That’s a half a million dollars almost. That’s—”

“It’s been a long time coming. A half million is small potatoes,” Leah answered. “And no one likes him here.”

Tal gave Lucy a half smile. “What she said. The fallout will be shitty, but it’s time.”

“What will happen? If you seize power?”

“We’ll play a couple of free movies all over, subsidize some pizza, and that’ll buy us enough time to sort things out. Rika will help us deal with anyone that’s still loyal to Connor through her Mexican connections, and we’ll go from there.”

Lucy frowned at them both, confused by their sudden ease with one another. “It sounds so easy. Too easy.”

Leah shook her head. “No. Hell no. People used to really like Connor. Five years, even two years ago, he was the shit, right Tal? We never could have moved things then. I gave up trying when I was fifteen.”

Tal shrugged. “We all grow up, I guess. That kid that ruled high school never runs the show in university. If we’ve learned anything from movies, it’s that. We all peak.”

Lucy ran her hand over her chaotic hair and wondered if that was really true.



***



After speaking with Connor, Tal felt optimistic. He’d made some crude joke about him f*cking Rika, which Tal had laughed along with, and Connor dropped the issue of his Vice-President’s absence after that, instead choosing to fill him in on the Vegas war. He’d decided he was winning, after driving Vegas out of Phoenix. Best of all, Leah had covered for Tal flawlessly. The hole Cole had left in Lucy reminded him that he and his cousin had always been a pretty good team. Potentially losing his cousin had been gnawing away at him, and he hadn’t known it until he’d realized she wasn’t going anywhere. Relationships changed. His and Leah’s was strong enough to change for the better, Tal decided. He’d do whatever he needed to to make that happen.

“That other guy from Campbell is coming tomorrow?” Leah asked, avoiding Lucy’s gaze. “The one you were supposed to be working with?”

“Bull,” Tal replied with a nod. “And Zoey. Lucy’s—”

“My girlfriend,” Lucy interjected, glancing at Tal innocently. “Zoey’s my girlfriend.”

“Yeah. All right,” Tal grumbled, shooting her a gruff look as he internally rolled his eyes. “We’ll take Connor out, and then see where the chips fall.”

“We won’t stay too long after that,” Lucy said, her expression morphing to wistful, which made Tal feel better. “Leave you to your civil war.”

“I don’t even think we’ll have a war,” Leah replied. “Not if we make things even a little better.”

Lucy flinched at her use of ‘we’, Tal noticed.

“I’m going to go shower,” he announced, deciding that if he and Lucy were going to work together, she and Leah were going to have to tolerate each other. He’d heard Leah snap at her from his office and he had to admit, he was impressed. He knew his cousin had balls; they’d just been progressively trampled by Connor, and to a lesser degree, himself. He knew Lucy would hate Leah’s interjection at first, and then respect it, as long as Leah earned it.

For the second time in twenty-four hours he jerked off in the shower, easily imagining Lucy’s hands around his cock. The progression of their relationship was moving at a snail’s pace, which he decided was preferable to upsetting her or having her associate what they did with anything or anyone but him. If he was going to be the exception, he was going to be exceptional. He knew making her happy was never going to be about having the biggest cock or the most stamina; it was going to be about respecting and understanding her needs. He was most certainly more likely to succeed at that, anyway.


Maybe they’d go nowhere. He knew there was a possibility that this was some weird experimentation born out of the death of her male half, but he hoped it wasn’t the case. The connection they shared almost buzzed it was so strong. He’d never felt it with anyone else.

He almost slipped on the tile floor when he emerged from the shower and found Leah sitting on the toilet.

“F*ck! You can’t just come in here,” he snapped, instinctively cupping his parts. “Shit, Leah.”

“Don’t pretend I haven’t heard you do that before,” she chuckled, extending a towel. “I haven’t been here too long.”

“Why are you here, and can you not be again?”

She tapped with urgency on the sink. “I don’t trust her. Lucy. I think she’s trying to f*ck us over, maybe seize power as soon as Connor drops it. She thinks she’s got you wrapped around her little finger. I can tell.”

Leah was right, but not in any of the ways she thought. “She doesn’t want to take over. We’ll need some allies against East and Campbell is our best bet.”

“I don’t like her.”

“She probably doesn’t like you either.”

Leah stared at Tal critically for a long minute. “Why did you tell her that I slept with Connor?” She crossed her arms defensively. “That’s not any of her business.”

He stepped out of the shower and leaned on the sink. “We’re friends.”

Leah furrowed her brow and a very confused look crossed her face, followed by realization. “You’re sleeping with her? She’s so…not your type.”

Tal sighed. She wasn’t wrong. Tal’s type were girls like Leah, or even Zoey. “I’m not…I’m not sleeping with her. She’s…” He thought of the right word, one that wouldn’t reveal anything. Complicated? Damaged? Timid? “She’s a lesbian. We’re not sleeping together I’m not her type.”

“I don’t like her,” Leah repeated. “Just for the record.”

“You said that. Concern noted,” Tal grumbled, raising his eyebrows. “And I’m being careful. If you’re so worried, I don’t know why you left her alone downstairs with all our files.”

Tal cracked a grin at Leah as, sure enough, he stomped downstairs to find Lucy thumbing through his ledger on the coffee table.

“I can show you what all that means, if you’d like.”

“You’re very meticulous.” She looked up with a smile. “And rich, but I already assumed that.”

“Let’s take this outside, Campbell,” he joked, nodding at the patio door. “I’ll just grab some clothes.”

Leah had done his laundry, he noticed, as he rifled through the pile of clean clothes on his bed. He jumped as his door slammed behind him and a pair of now-familiar hands snaked around his waist and a head with prickly-soft short hair rested on his back.

“I got lost on the way to the bathroom,” she whispered. “Want to run away together?”

“Don’t tempt me. I’ll toss you over my shoulder caveman-style and off we’ll go.” He turned around in her embrace. “You know though, if we’re being secretive, coming into my room when I’m changing probably isn’t—”

“She’ll keep her suspicions to herself. I’m going, anyway,” Lucy whispered, smiling up at him. “Where am I staying?”

“You can stay in the room above the garage,” he poked his head out the door and nodded down the hall. “Right to the end, down a few stairs, and there you are. It’s got its own bathroom.”

She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss. “See you outside.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about profit and loss, investments, and long-term planning in the unusually hot November sun. Tal did his best to pay attention, but once Lucy changed into shorts he found himself more single-minded than he’d ever been, her strong legs drawing his attention much more than dividends. He decided it was probably a good thing she lived thousands of miles away or he’d never get anything done.

Leah made a pasta salad with avocados and herbs from their garden for dinner. After devouring a huge bowl of it, with no thanks to the cook, Lucy excused herself and vanished to her room, leaving Tal to listen to Leah gripe about their houseguest and her incredible manipulation abilities.

He excused himself about an hour later, and once he heard Leah close her door, he quietly snuck down the hall, past her door and knocked ever so softly on Lucy’s.

She answered in one of his Dad’s old t-shirts that he assumed she’d fished out of the dresser, where all the things he couldn’t bear to throw away but didn’t want to see resided.

“Hi,” she whispered, moving aside to let him in before locking the door. “It’s nice up here.”

“If we’d met in college, this would have been my room after my brothers moved out. We all used to fight over it.”

“So you would have brought me here?” She sat up on the bed.

He moved so he was standing between her legs and their faces were close. “That would have involved you meeting my parents first.” He tilted her chin towards his face. “But yeah, I would have if you would have come.”

“This should be your room now. It’s very private,” she whispered. “So what would have happened when you brought me here?”

“Whatever you wanted to happen, just like now.” He kissed her forehead, then cheek, before proceeding to her mouth. “I’d never push you into anything.”



***



As they kissed, Lucy imagined a conversation with Cole where he’d tell her what she should be doing, and she’d pretend to be wigged out, but really she’d be taking careful mental notes. They’d never talked much about sex—the idea of sharing encounters with your counterpart had weirded them both out, but in this situation, she knew he’d have advice. Lucy wondered what that meant, and wrangled with the possibility that he might expect her to initiate. She cupped his cheeks and her mind raced with what she was meant to do, and how it would make her feel. Shutting it all off and just going with it was a nice idea, but in reality, it was hard. Just like Tal, as he pressed against her hip.

It was all foreign to her. The way he kissed, the way he touched her. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, it was just not what she was used to, and she knew doing it, just for the sake of doing it, was going to leave her a bigger mess than she already was and create a lot more problems than it would solve. She didn’t want that for them. She wanted to continue coveting their moments, until they added up to something greater.

“I don’t want to rush into anything,” she murmured. “I think we’d both regret it.”

“It’s fine,” he whispered. “This, it’s fine if we just—”

She cut him off with a kiss. “You’re a good guy.”

“I like to think we have a lot of years working together ahead of us. There’s lots of time. I’m enjoying this. You’re a tough nut to crack. Six weeks ago, I never would have thought—”

“Me neither,” she laughed. “This,” she nodded between them, “it’s always been like when you’re curious about what alligator tastes like, but you really have no desire to go out, catch an alligator, and find out.”


“And now you’ve got an alligator, and you’re not sure it’ll be as delicious as you imagined?”

Lucy laughed. “No. Now I’ve got an alligator and I’m not sure how to prepare it.”

“If you think that sleeping with me is going to be as exciting as catching an alligator, I think you’ll be sorely disappointed.” Tal stretched out in the bed and nodded at the TV on the dresser. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, curling herself around him, her head on his chest as she enjoyed the intimacy of being close to him in the place he was most comfortable. “In a minute.”



***



“Goose?” Bull called from across the narrow stream. “Hey, over here!”

She shook her head and realized that she’d fallen asleep, and here, in her dream, she was entirely naked. She wondered where the t-shirt she was certain she was sleeping in had ended up, and what her nudity was symbolic of.

“F*ck!” she giggled, doing her best to cover herself up with her hands. “Come over here.”

He did as she asked and trudged through the stream, bringing himself with a few feet of her. “You’re dreaming. You haven’t been. I’ve been looking everywhere for you for a week now. And you’re naked.”

Lucy then saw Tal out of the corner of her eye, asleep on the soft grass in the meadow, in only his underwear. Bull didn’t seem to notice him. Sometimes her dreams made no sense.

“I am naked. I guess I’m sleeping better,” she said, with a nonchalant shrug. “And I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be in LA tomorrow,” he said, his voice laden with regret. “I’m sleeping in the car. I’ve got to sort shit out with your little friend. He’s got a theory that’s worth following up on.”

“I’m there, Bull. I’m in LA with Tal.” She shook her head and glanced at him again, noticing he’d spread himself out on his back like he did, blissfully unaware of the conversation that was taking place five feet away. “We flew down yesterday.”

Bull crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows suspiciously. “You flew down?”

“He came up to see me, and I came back with him. If Connor did kidnap us—”

“There’s a chance he’s responsible for everything.” Bull nodded, irritation flashing across his face. “So you came to find out with him. You wanted to see. Last time I saw you, you weren’t interested in anything.”

She twisted her face up. “He makes me feel…better, somehow.”

“You need to be careful. You don’t know if you can trust him—”

“I do know,” she said, in a tone she found whiny. “How’s Zoey?”

He sat down on the soft grass. “She’s very worried about you, but she’s much more tolerable when you’re not around.”

“Thanks,” she grumbled.

“She’s going to be hurt that he was able to do what she couldn’t.”

Lucy closed her eyes and thought of all the things Zoey had said, all the ways she’d tried to get her to respond before she’d finally thrown her hands up and left with Bull, desperate to have some influence on something.

“I can’t help that,” she finally responded. “I can’t help that I don’t feel like I think I should, and I can’t help the way I feel around him. I like the way I feel around him. I don’t want to shove it down. It is what it is.”

Bull nodded, a sad look crossing his face for the briefest second, and she knew it wasn’t just Zoey who felt hurt that she’d been unable to help. “I trust that you know what’s right for yourself.”

“Thank you,” she said, and as she looked down, she saw that she was now in her usual jeans and a t-shirt. She reached for him and embraced him, knowing that what she’d said without saying anything was going to change their relationship in a million ways.

She had to make sure it was for the better.