She understood then why he drove so fast. It wasn’t so much a love of speed as it was a way to run from his memories, his past. “And you’re still racing after all these years,” she said aloud.
His eyes were simultaneously full of emotion and totally bleak. “Yes. I still love speed. Still need speed. Still feel like I’ll go off the rails if I don’t have enough of it. Being with you is like that, Harper. A total rush. You fill up all those empty spaces. And even though I’ve known all along that I shouldn’t let it happen, I haven’t been able to stop. Haven’t been able to make myself do the right thing and leave you alone.”
She couldn’t stand it anymore. She couldn’t lie still in his bed. She either had to touch him—or run.
And she knew which one he thought she would pick. Almost as if every word he uttered was designed to make her leave. To force her out. To make her throw his words of love back in his face.
But how could she, when everything was now so clear? Will had been a small boy who was horribly used. And yet, he’d turned into a man who would champion her brother and teach a small child to swim. He’d been a broken little boy who, with help and love, had glued himself back together again.
And now, he was a man who loved her.
All along she’d been telling herself this was just hot sex with a super hot guy. Nothing more than a thrilling ride in a fast car. But the truth was that Will had managed to touch her in all the places she’d been afraid to let anyone near. Not since her parents died. Not even since she’d lost the old Jeremy. She’d never let anyone in. Not until Will had pushed past her barriers, her walls, each of her fears, one by one.
The honest truth? She was terrified. Terrified that if she truly gave her heart and then something happened to him, how could she possibly keep moving forward without him the way she had before?
“So you see, Harper, I’m really not a nice guy in any way.”
As his voice thrummed like a chord inside her, she crawled across the expanse of his bed. She couldn’t let him believe that horrible lie for one more second.
She straddled his lap and took his face in her palms. “I don’t want a nice guy. I only want you. The best man I’ve ever known.” Putting her hand on the tattoo of his youth, she bent to kiss the inked skin. “Susan and Bob forgave you no matter what you did. And so do I, Will. So do I.”
But she knew she needed to say more, needed to explain why she wasn’t echoing his beautiful words back to him. “My not saying those words...it’s not because you aren’t worthy. And it’s definitely not because I’m too smart to fall for you. I’m falling, Will. You have to believe that. I just—”
She’d been planning to seal the confession with a kiss designed to ease his pain and loss, but he cut off her halting words, pulling her to him, his mouth a breath away.
“It’s enough to know you’re falling, Harper. And that one day, maybe, if I’m lucky, you’ll let yourself fall all the way.”
She kissed him then, with everything she had in her. Tasted him, savored him, and took his hard heat between her naked thighs, putting on protection at the same time. Then she took him deep inside. So deep that their coming together stole her breath, his breath, even stopped the beating of their hearts for one endless, perfect moment.
“Harper.”
She drew everything from him then, with her body, her soul. Over and over, faster, harder, her hands, her mouth, taking him higher, deeper, until he cried her name, guttural words spilling out.
She recognized love, she recognized you. And for the first time, as she followed him over the edge of a greater bliss than she’d ever known, she let herself fully drink in his emotion...and the undeniable truth that he was quickly becoming everything to her.
*
Will had never known peace. Not until this moment. He’d always been fighting—to make more money, to best a business opponent, to drive the fastest car, to introduce his clients to the perfect caviar or the ultimate Swiss watch, to find the one thing in the world that everyone wanted and only he could provide.
He’d been fighting his whole life to erase the kid he’d left behind in Chicago.
Until Harper made love to him...and he realized he didn’t need to fight anymore.
She hadn’t said she loved him, had even told him she needed more time. He understood that Harper—and Jeremy—had been hurt enough by men like him that she needed to think, to process, and to make absolutely sure she trusted him. But he swore he could feel her love in the way she looked at him with such emotion, in her touch, in the way she’d taken him to heaven and wouldn’t let him leave.
She rested her fingers on his tattoo. “If it bothers you so much, why haven’t you gotten rid of it?”
“It reminds me of where I came from.” He could have left it at that, but she’d just given him so much. More than he’d ever hoped for. So he forced himself to give her more in return. “And it reminds me of where I never want to go again.”