Born to Ride_A Clubhouse Collection

chapter 23

MEADOW

Promises are made to be broken, that’s why the words were never spoken.

He doesn’t come after me. Not that I expected him to. So, I flag down a cab and order him to take me to the police station. I need answers. I don’t trust Raide, but I want to hear his side of it. My entire destiny has been warped. Everything I’ve looked forward to, everything I’ve believed in has been slammed into the dirt, and crushed. I can’t begin to process everything that’s been put into my life, but I do know there’s always a reason for it.

Axel has a reason—a purpose—I just don’t know what it is.

I know I love him. I’ve known it for long enough now.

It doesn’t change that I can’t keep fighting against a soulless man. He doesn’t want to let me in. He’s refusing to acknowledge what this really is. He wants me as an old lady, just a girl that does as she’s told. That’s not me. I need him to love me. I need him to want more than just a claim. He doesn’t, though, because he won’t open up. That should have been my answer then, and it’s certainly my answer now.

Axel and I are done.

The minute the cab pulls up to the police station, I get out, handing the driver a twenty. Then I stand out front, staring up at the big building. I need a toilet before I go in there. I’m fully aware that I still have a USB drive in a place a USB drive shouldn’t be. I don’t know if that makes me feel more powerful, or if I’ll just throw it in the mail and send it back to Axel, cutting all ties forever. He’ll want this. His father will want this. I’m tired of being the meat between the sandwich. If he has it, he can deal with it.

I find a public toilet, and my heart aches as a sense of loss washes through me. As much as I hated how Axel and my relationship has been, it was still mine, and because of that, letting it go is like letting go of my home. I felt a certain comfort around Axel and the guys. I can’t explain it, because there really was nothing that happened to make me feel at ease, but I did. Now, here I am, in a toilet, about to go in and talk to a man I don’t trust.

I don’t know why I’m here.

I finish up in the toilet, and dispose of the condom before tucking the USB into my knickers, just to keep it safe. Then I make my way back to the station. I stare at the front doors for a long moment, struggling to breathe. I’m not entirely sure this is a good idea, but I know I have to do it. I need to know how Raide played his part in this, so I can decide for myself how this story is meant to unfold.

I walk inside, and the cool crisp air from the over air-conditioned room hits my face. I shudder. I walk up to the main desk where a lady in a dark gray suit is sitting, typing away. She lifts her eyes to see me standing there, and a small smile breaks out on her perky face. “Well, hi, how can I help you?”

I force a smile. “I’m actually here to see Raide.”

Her eyes narrow. “Have you got an appointment to see him?”

“Well, no, but...”

“I’m sorry ma’am, unless you have an appointment I can’t let you see him.”

“He told me to come and see him, anytime I needed,” I croak out, feeling my voice tremble.

“Look, just give me a minute. What’s your name?”

“It’s Meadow.”

She picks up the phone, giving me a snooty expression. I want to reach over the reception and smack her in the face.

“Mr. Wraithe, yes, it’s Lisa. I have a girl up the front, insisting on seeing you, I’ve told her that’s not going to happen, but...”

Silence falls.

“Pardon?”

More silence.

“Her name is Meadow.”

Her face pales, and she begins nodding her head.

“Yes sir, sorry sir.”

She hangs up the phone, and looks up at me, her eyes flaring. “He’ll be out in a second.”

I nod at her, and wait with my hands bound tightly together. I hear a door slam to my left, and I spin around to see Raide approaching me. He’s smiling, and his eyes sparkle as he approaches me. His blue shirt has a few buttons undone, and he looks far more casual now than he did earlier. I don’t want to like this man, but...he has something about him. Something familiar. I give him a wobbly smile. He stops in front of me, and extends his hand. I can see the receptionist watching us from the corner of my eye, and I decide then she must be his f*ck buddy.

“Meadow, I didn’t expect you so soon. Are you okay?”

I hesitate. “Ah, yeah. I just wanted to, um, talk to you.”

He nods. “Can I get you something to drink? You look upset.”

“No, thank you.”

He extends his hand further toward me, and I take it. He leads me down a small hall, and into a large office. He points to a big, comfy gray sofa in the corner of the room, and I sit. He takes the one across from me, sitting down too. I entwine my fingers back into their comfy position, and I lift my eyes to meet his. God, he’s like Axel now I’m looking at him, really looking...I can see it.

“You want to tell me why you’re here so soon?” he asks, leaning back in the chair.

“I want to know...your story. I’ve heard Axel’s, but I haven’t heard yours, and I think...I think I need to.”

He stares at me for a long moment, and then he nods. “Yes, I believe you do.”

“So are you going to tell me...?” I say, hesitant.

“Tell me what you already know...”


I shake my head. “So you can leave details out? No. You’re either going to tell me, Mr. Wraithe, or you’re not.”

“Raide. And I’ll tell you. I’ve got nothing to hide from you, Meadow.”

I stare at him, not answering, just giving him one of those well, hurry it up expressions. He sighs, and stares down at his hands.

“I met your dad in our first year training. We hit it off right away. We both got situated at the same place, and things were great. It was great for a long time. He got married, and you were born. I was there through it all. Then Axel came back into town. I love my son, don’t get me wrong, but I had him young. I was only fifteen when his momma got pregnant. We were young, and stupid, and he got adopted out. We really didn’t get a choice.”

He sighs before continuing.

“Axel tracked me down when he was old enough, and came back for me. It didn’t go so well. He was angry at me, and when he found out I was a cop, shit hit the fan. I didn’t know he was in a club at that point, but when I did, we knew we couldn’t associate with each other.”

“So, what happened then?” I ask, leaning forward, and resting my hands on my knees.

“Your dad and I got put on an undercover mission together: to create ourselves a biker club, and get as much undercover information as we could to bring down the clubs. At that point, there were a lot of drugs being illegally run, and the cops couldn’t get close enough. It took us a solid eight years to earn the respect of the clubs, and get our name out there. Axel hated us. He knew what we were doing, and he chose to cut ties with both of us. He only came back to see you.”

“Me?” I ask.

He nods, smiling. “He adored you, and it was the only time we saw him. He’d come and pick you up, taking you out.”

I feel myself smiling at the memories. Axel used to take me riding, right up until I was about twelve. Then he distanced himself from me, leaving me heart broken. I don’t recall ever seeing Raide, and I narrow my eyes.

“I don’t remember you, if you were friends with my father, why don’t I remember you?”

“We worked in the same place for a while, but I was always away. You did meet me a few times, but it was with groups of people, so you wouldn’t remember. We tried to keep it all away from family, your father didn’t want you involved, so he usually kept people from your house.”

Makes sense.

Shaking my head, I continue. “So, you and my dad set Axel up?”

He shakes his head. “No, that wasn’t exactly how it was meant to go. Axel thinks it is, Meadow, but it wasn’t. We were after another club, but unfortunately, Axel’s club was involved in the shipments that we were looking at. He thinks we set him up to start a war between the clubs so we could bring them down, but it wasn’t the case. We sent Beast in with false information to the docks, to pick up a shipment. We were going to bring him down; we had enough evidence. Axel got wind of it, and he showed up first. By the time we got there, both of them were gone. We didn’t see Axel again for nearly six months after that. When he came back, he wasn’t the same.”

“Beast took Axel?” I gasp, fear coursing through my veins. No, that can’t be right.

“Yes, we got there and Beast and Axel were already gone.”

“So, how did I come about running with that USB?”

Raide rubs his temples. “Axel came back on a rampage. He wanted revenge. He believed we’d set him up. He started tapping lines, finding out as much information as he could. I’d been transferred at this point, only your dad was left. The case had basically been declared a failure when we lost Axel and Beast, but then your dad started gathering information again. He was getting threatened, and it was becoming too dangerous for you and him to stay in town. A war was brewing, and you couldn’t be around.”

God, I clench my hands tighter together, trying to steady my pounding heart.

“Your dad had only one choice. The bikers knew what he was, what he’d done. He had to go into witness protection. He didn’t want to make you go. You were young and fragile, so he was going to take you out of town, and let you go. He put all the information on the USB, and he was going to drive it to me to continue with the case...then you know what happened after that.”

I feel my eyes burn with tears, and I swallow, shaking my head rapidly.

“So...you want the information to take down Axel, too?”

He shakes his head. “I know you don’t believe it, but I turn a blind eye to my son’s club. It’s not easy, but I do it. I’ve always found a way to protect him, even if he doesn’t believe it. I want the information to take down Beast and his club, as well as a chain of other outlaw clubs.”

“Taking them down would cause a war, wouldn’t it?”

He shrugs. “No, not if we have enough information.”

“The information on the USB,” I whisper.

“I swear to you, Meadow. I will not bring any harm to my son’s club. They’re careful; we have nothing on them. They don’t have to be involved in this.”

“You’ll understand that I need time to process this?” I whisper, lifting my eyes and meeting his.

“I understand.”

I stand, feeling my knees wobble. “Do you know what happened to Axel?”

Raide shakes his head. “No. I tried to find out, but I could never get a lead.”

I nod, walking to the door. “Can I ask you one more thing, Raide?”

He nods, looking exhausted.

“Do you love him?”

He smiles weakly. “I never had a chance to get to know my son, to love him, but every part of me aches every day to try. I want to love him, Meadow. He just won’t let me.”

“I know the feeling,” I mumble under my breath.

Raide stands, walking over. He places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry about Mitchell...”

I swallow the lump that forms in my throat. “My dad didn’t deserve to die, but sometimes these things can’t be helped.”

“No,” he says. “They can’t. Do you have money to get yourself some accommodation?”

I smile, but it’s weak. “With all due respect, sir, but even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t ask you.”

He grins at me. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. Let me at least pay for a cab to get you where you need to go.”

I won’t argue with that. “Okay, thank you.”

“Call me when you decide what to do, Meadow.”

I nod, and walk out of the room. My head is spinning.

~*~*~*~

MEADOW

I go to the only place I can think of. Even though it hurts to go back and face the memories that lay there, I have nowhere else to go. The cab stops, and I smile at the driver and get out. I stare up at the big house, and sigh. I hope Lady will let me stay a few days, because if she doesn’t, I don’t know where I’ll go.

I’m halfway up the drive when my cell buzzes. I stare down at the screen, and I’m surprised to see a text from Axel.

A – Are we goin to be runnin again?

I’m angry at him, but more than that, I want him to know that I’m done playing his little games.

M – I’m not running anywhere. I went to see Raide.

My phone is silent a long moment—too long. I lean against the tree, and wait for it to buzz again. It does, five minutes later.

A – Glad to see I mean so f*ckin much to you, Meadow.

Oh, he’s not going to use that on me. No f*cking way.

M – You wouldn’t give me answers. I had every right to go to him. Don’t make me feel bad about that. I don’t have to answer to you any more, remember?

A – No problem.

Ouch.

M – You know, I figured something out today...

A – And that is?

M – That I’m in love with a self-righteous pig who refuses to let me into his heart, even though I’ve fully accepted the darkness there. I’m tired of playing your games, Axel. We’re done here. Come and get your USB. To be honest, I don’t care what you do with it. I’m done playing with you, and it’s about time I moved on. I’m at Lady’s. Send someone to get it, or get it yourself. I no longer care.

I switch the phone off before I can see if he answers or not. A loud crack of thunder fills the sky, and I stare up at the angry gray clouds rolling in. I didn’t see them coming. I rush up the stairs of Lady’s front porch, and rap on the door. A moment later, it swings open, and Lady stands there, staring at me with shock.

“Sugar, what are you doing here?”

I fumble a little with my words. “Well, uh, it’s a long story but, uh...I’ve got nowhere else to go, Lady.”

She smiles right away. “Come in, love, it’s freezing out, and we’re about to get rained on.”

I step into her house, and I feel a little shiver pass over me. I try not to think about what went down here, because I know it’s the only place I have to go right now.

“You look hungry, sugar. Let me give you something to eat.”

Lady rushes into the kitchen, and I sit on the couch, trying to think of anything but the fact that I just told Axel I loved him over a text. I mean, come on, seriously? I shake my head, disgusted with myself for losing my temper.

Lady comes out a moment later with a sandwich and a cup of tea. She places them down in front of me, and looks at me sadly.

“This can’t be good if you’re here, and not with Axel.”

I give her a weak smile. “I found out about his dad, and all the things that happened with mine, and when I asked him what happened to him he still refused to tell me. I love him, Lady, but I can’t keep coming second to his demons.”

She nods, understanding. “Axel is a hard man. I wish there was something I could say to make this better for you.”

“It’s okay; I’m not here to feel better. I just needed somewhere to go.”

She smiles, and taps my hand. “I have to go out now, love. But you’re welcome to stay. Go back up to your room, and make yourself at home.”

“Thank you, Lady. I can’t express just how much this means to me.”

She beams. “I’m sure I get it.”

I’m sure she does, too.