chapter 7
After a sleepless night and a day doing nothing but putting out fires, Audrey tucked her blouse more securely into her pencil skirt and rode the elevator up to the top floor of a high-rise around the block from her office. Work had been brutal all day as they prepared for the report for the Senate. She’d asked Darian to meet her at the restaurant, mostly because she figured Nate would wait for her at home. He’d expect her to change before her date.
Since most people in her business worked well past the traditional dinner hour, Darian had easily agreed to meet her at Anchonies, the new hot restaurant in DC. She stepped into the waiting area.
The hostess nodded at her. “Miss Madison? Mr. Hannah is waiting this way.” Turning on a high-heeled silver Blahnik, the six-foot blonde wove gracefully around tables to reach an alcove against the window. Audrey smiled her thanks and sat, taking a moment to appreciate the DC skyline at night. The beacon glittered from the Washington monument as if hope still lived.
Darian slid a glass of Shiraz toward her. “I ordered you a glass of wine.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t ask how he knew what she preferred—it was fairly easy for one secretary to call another in town for details. The first sip relaxed her shoulders.
She studied the man who’d been so persistent in asking her out. Tall and broad, Darian had played college football for Notre Dame before moving on to politics. Rugged features and light mocha skin combined into a handsome configuration that reminded her of a cross between Denzel Washington and Dwayne Johnson. It was too bad Darian wanted to commit fraud with her, because he seemed like a decent guy.
He’d removed his suit jacket, and nicely filled out a green dress shirt. “Why did you finally decide to accept my invitation?”
She smiled. “I figured you wanted to talk about the subcommittee’s recommendation, and since we’re making it next week, we’d better talk.”
Warmth glimmered in his chocolate-colored eyes. “I’d hoped my personality finally charmed you into accepting a real date.”
The restaurant was set for romance. She tapped a fingernail on her wineglass stem, idly wondering when she’d last had an actual date. Nothing came to mind. “I don’t have time for real dates right now, and I’m assuming you don’t, either.”
“I do.” He leaned forward, gaze intent. “Life is too short to miss out on fun.”
He had no clue. “I agree.” But she’d given her heart five years ago, and she remained more sure than ever that she’d never get it back. Plus, once the commander discovered her true agenda, she’d be dead. “But now isn’t a good time.”
“As long as it’s you and not me,” Darian said.
Audrey laughed, caught off guard. Charming and funny, wasn’t he? “Good one.”
The waitress arrived and took their orders.
“So, talk,” Audrey said, munching on a breadstick. The back of her neck tingled, and she fought to control her nerves.
Darian sipped his water. “Red Force wants badly to receive significant Senate allocations this year, and if the senator makes this happen, we’ll find a way to fund his war chest in the next election.”
Audrey nodded. Would she ever feel as if she wasn’t being watched? The commander’s men remained close. “What makes your organization a better fit than others out there to justify his recommending you?”
Darian leaned forward. “As you know, our private employees are ex-military, are well trained, and can go into areas the U.S. officially cannot. We’re the best out there for covert operations needed but not sanctioned by the U.S. government.”
Audrey kept an interested look on her face. Red Force’s soldiers were nowhere close to the commander’s forces in skill or experience. “Who do you think is your main competition?”
Darian shrugged. “There are several corporations providing covert ops, body guard services, and even wet work. Frankly, we’re investigating all of our competition right now, but we’re the only one that’s ready to go today.”
That darn tickle wouldn’t leave her alone. She glanced around the restaurant… and froze. Nate sat at the next table, facing her, his eyes dark with warning. His companion reached out a slim hand and patted his on the table before glancing Audrey’s way.
Audrey nodded at Lilith, who returned the smile, all teeth. A gorgeous red wrap-style dress hugged the woman’s svelte figure and revealed high breasts. No matter how many hours Audrey logged at the gym, she’d never be that thin and willowy. Ever.
Darian followed her gaze. “That’s Lilith Mayes from TechnoZyn.”
“Yes. They’re pushing hard for military funding,” Audrey said, turning back toward her companion and feeling Nate’s gaze remaining on her. She swallowed and reached for her wine.
“I’d heard TechnoZyn was looking for deals and making promises about their spylike computers. Who’s the guy?” Darian asked.
Audrey lifted a shoulder. “Jason something. He’s a lobbyist who seems to deal in land acquisitions.”
“Never heard of the guy.” Darian sat back as the waitress set a crab salad in front of Audrey and a steak before him. “I worked with Lilith a few years back on a deal. The woman is ruthless.” Something darkened his voice.
“Ruthless? Was it personal?” Audrey asked.
Darian flushed. “We, ah, dated.”
Interesting. Now Lilith seemed to be dating Nathan. Audrey dug into her salad, her appetite gone. How was she supposed to act normal when Nate persisted in looking right at her? She cut him a sideways glance to see him smiling at the blonde. Hurt sliced through Audrey, surprising in its intensity.
Why in the world did she care if Nate made a move on the other woman? It wasn’t as if they had a chance to find each other again.
Darian poured her another glass of wine. “Are you all right?”
She forced a smile. “Yes. Tired of working so hard, you know?”
He grinned and held out a piece of steak on a fork. “I definitely know. Try this steak—it’s amazing.” His gaze was more friendly than sexy.
Audrey took the bite and chewed slowly. “Delicious.” The chef knew how to cook. She glanced again at Nate, and the raw fury in his eyes nearly made her choke. He stared pointedly at Darian’s now-empty fork. Recovering, she took a deep drink of her wine.
How in the world would she make it through dinner?
Somehow she managed to choke down the salad without tasting it, agree to think about Darian’s business proposal without actually agreeing to anything, and fend off his increasingly obvious advances without marching over to Nate’s table and punching him in the face. Again.
Finally, after Darian had paid the bill, her temper boiled with the need to let loose. She excused herself to visit the lady’s room and, while there, took several deep breaths, staring at herself in the mirror. On all that was holy. She’d been raised in a manipulative, secretive situation, and she now worked in politics. If her upbringing had taught her anything, it was how to survive the current situation.
All she had to do now was go home, get a decent night’s sleep, and her mind would clear.
Her shoulders back, she exited the ladies’ room—and ran right into Nate.
“Hey,” she muttered, bouncing back. His hands around her biceps kept her from knocking over a potted plant. “What do you want now?”
He stood tall and ripped, a nearly animalistic tension cascading off him. His dark hair brushed his collar in an untamed way, and something wild glimmered behind his brown-colored contacts. “We’re not finished with our conversation from yesterday, so I thought I’d provide fair warning,” he said.
For the first time that evening, a hum fluttered through her belly. She’d spent an enjoyable evening with a handsome, smart, sexy man… and had felt nothing. Now, one second in Nate’s arms, with him issuing threats, her body flared to life. “Let go of my arms, or I swear, you’ll never walk again,” she hissed.
He yanked her closer, one hand pressing against her lower back.
His erection jumped against her cleft, and she bit back a moan.
“I’ll meet you back at your place. If he’s there with you, I’m taking him out.” Nate released her and pivoted to head back to his table.
Audrey swallowed several times, irritated beyond belief at the relief that filled her. Relief that Nate wasn’t spending the night with Lilith the tigress.
* * *
Audrey unlocked her apartment door and slid inside, listening. No sounds. Nate hadn’t arrived yet. Good. She’d get her bag and stay the night at a hotel before heading in to work the next day. She locked the door.
A light flipped on.
Nate sat in a leather chair, his shoes kicked off, sock-covered feet on the ottoman. “ ’Bout time you got home. I was about to come looking.”
It had taken several moments to convince Darian she wished to go home—alone—and then the cabbie had taken the long route. “Don’t you have a blonde to flirt with?” Audrey asked, her heart kicking into gear.
“Jealous?” Nate asked, looking way too comfortable in faded jeans and a ripped T-shirt. A half-full glass of red wine sat next to him on the sofa table.
Yes, actually. He wasn’t hers, but at one point, he had been. He’d been everything, and the thought of him turning that all-encompassing focus on another woman hurt like a knife to the stomach. “Of course I’m not jealous. Don’t be ridiculous.”
The image he presented, Nate waiting for her after a hard day’s work, had filled her dreams for much too long. Home. He’d always been her idea of home, and an ache pounded in her solar plexus. They’d never have that together, although sometimes, late at night when she couldn’t sleep, she daydreamed. Fantasized. Wished. She cleared her throat against an impossible future. “When did you change your clothes?”
The man looked even better in the casual wear than the perfectly cut suit.
“A few minutes ago in your room. I brought an overnight bag.” His feet dropped to the floor as he gestured toward the couch. “Why don’t you have a seat, and we’ll talk?”
An overnight bag? The breath heated in her lungs, and she shoved down interest. “You’re not staying the night.” Weariness weighed down her limbs. “I’m not up for another talk with you.” Man, she was tired. He evoked so many emotions in her, her brain refused to think straight. “Don’t you have a war to go fight?”
“Come here, Audrey.” The low tone combined sexiness and command in a dangerously sensual way.
Her legs slid into motion before her mind reached a reason to refuse. She dropped onto the couch. “You have twenty minutes to ask questions, and then you’re going to leave. Period.”
For answer, he reached for her foot and tugged off the heel. Strong fingers began to knead the arch of her foot, and a small groan escaped her.
“Other foot,” he said. Determination hardened his face while his eyes softened.
Why did he want to bring her pleasure? Was it to manipulate her, or did he remember how much they’d touched? So often and so freely.
God, she missed that.
So she lifted her other foot as if in a dream, and he plucked off the shoe. Both his hands went to work, sending pure ecstasy up her legs. Her lids closed to half-mast, and she studied him through the remaining light. “Why are you being nice to me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, his thumb pressing beneath her heel, studying her face and probing deep.
The tendons in her foot relaxed. “Because you hate me.”
His head jerked. “I don’t hate you, Aud.” He ran his thumbs along her arches, melting her body in pleasure. “I don’t understand you, and I’m not sure I ever knew you, but I could never hate you.” Regret tinged his mater-of-fact tone.
“Why not?” she whispered, her body going lax.
He pushed beneath her toes, releasing pressure points as he exhaled slowly. “The only happiness I remember in that hellhole included you. Those days, even if you were acting, those were the best of my life.”
Remembered pleasure soothed her nerves. Her lids opened. “You’re a human lie detector.”
He shrugged, powerful shoulders moving. “Yes, but you got beneath all of my defenses. If anybody could lie to me, it’d be you.”
A feminine contentment overcame her. She was the one woman in the world he’d let in. Too bad she’d taken that trust and broken his heart—even if she did so for the right reasons. “I didn’t lie.” If nothing else, she needed him to believe that—especially since it was way too late to turn back.
The gentleness in his touch contrasted nicely with the obvious strength in his fingers. “You knew we started as an experiment?”
“Kind of. My mother asked me to help a lost soldier who needed some kindness in his life. She wanted me to talk to you, get to know you, even become a friend. I said I’d help.” Audrey’s lips tickled into a rueful smile. “I had no intention of falling in love with you like I did.”
“You don’t leave somebody you love,” Nathan said, dropping her feet, his gaze shuttering closed.
You do to protect them. But he wouldn’t understand that, would he? His entire life, all he had were his brothers, and the idea of leaving them wouldn’t have occurred to him. They were all or nothing, the Gray brothers. A familiar ache pounded in her chest. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” She lifted her legs to sit cross-legged on the sofa.
“So why did you?”
She picked at a mar in the cushion. “We became too close, and the commander knew you wanted a life outside of the military group. He said either I ended our relationship or you were going to die as an example to the rest of his soldiers.”
Nate lifted his chin. “So you trusted him over me.”
Audrey started, and her breath caught. “No. I broke up with you to save you.”
“I figured out why you broke up with me. But again, you trusted the commander over me. I would’ve figured out a way for us.” Determination and anger blazed hot in his eyes. “You had no right to make that decision for both of us.”
She gasped, anger biting her. “This is about your ego? You beating the commander?” Ending her relationship with him had nearly killed her, and he couldn’t see that? Standing, she kicked her heels out of the way. “Forget you, Nate.”
He caught her elbow and tugged her back around, his movement making no sound. “My ego? No. This is about you being too frightened to take a chance, to make a stand, and to fight for us, for what you said you wanted.”
Oh, if he had any clue about her fight.
She shoved his chest. Hard.
The man didn’t move an inch.
“Let go of me,” she said, her chin rising.
“No.” Then his mouth captured hers. The gentleness always alive in Nate had fled, leaving heated, pissed-off male.
Her knees weakened, and her breath heated. She opened her mouth to protest, to argue, but his tongue swept inside, and she was lost. Lost to the passion instantly igniting between them.
Her nipples hardened to rock, while her nails curled into his chest, no longer pushing.
He drew her into him, taking control. His tongue explored her, tasting, claiming. Taking with a desperation so hot it should’ve scared her. Should’ve provided warning that she was out of her element.
But fear remained so far in the background as to be inconsequential.
Or maybe she just wanted to feel alive. For the first time in five years, the pain of the present, the fatality of the future—disappeared.
Only here and now existed—only pleasure so sharp it cut through her with a delicious blade of ecstasy. One man on earth could provide such an overwhelming escape, and she wanted the freedom he offered. A temporary relief from the reality of her life, of who she’d become and what she must do now.
So she jumped headfirst into the storm he’d unleashed, her tongue mating with his. A low growl rumbled up from his chest like a lion about to attack.
He reached down and tugged her still-buttoned blouse over the top of her head. Cool air brushed her skin, and her nipples sang a whispering hello. She protested when he jerked his mouth free and then sighed when he nipped her jaw, tracing the fragile bone.
Fire lashed from his mouth, assaulting her with a need too dark to avoid. She held no illusions that this wasn’t one night to scratch an itch. She’d given her heart to Nate years ago, but no future existed for them.
She had this moment, and she wanted to experience every second, no matter how quickly it ended.
Somehow her bra ended up across the room.
“Oh baby,” he murmured, his gaze hot and on her breasts. “These haunt my dreams.” His mouth found her, licking along her breast and engulfing a nipple.
She sighed, her hands burrowing through his thick hair and seizing tight. Both knees weakened, and only a strong arm banding around her waist held her upright.
Her wildest memories didn’t come close to the hunger replacing all thought. A smart girl would stop him. She didn’t want to be smart, and she didn’t want careful. She wanted right now.
He switched to the other breast, laving and sucking, nipping with a hint of violence that shot liquid to coat her thighs.
Finally, he lifted up, his unique eyes a color she’d never seen. Not gray or black, but something in between. “Audrey?”
The low, guttural tone nearly propelled her right over the edge into orgasm.
She swallowed, trying to force out words. “One night, Nate. Just us. You, me, and now. No past, no future.”
Regret twisted his lips, and desperation flamed across his face. He wanted to refuse, to maybe protect them both.
The time for protecting them had disappeared five years ago. She felt an apology shine in her eyes as she reached out and cupped his erection. Full and pulsing, even through the jeans, his cock overwhelmed her palm in size and heat.
A furious struggle cut grooves into his rugged face.
She squeezed.
His eyelids shut, and when they reopened, the fight was over.