chapter 9
Audrey tried to roll over, her breath catching at the realization that she couldn’t move. Panicked, she kicked out. Pain radiated up her bad leg.
“Whoa, darlin’,” Nate murmured, his voice rough with sleep. “Hold on—we’re entangled.”
Oh. Oh yeah. Holy moly. She’d slept with Nate. “Okay.” Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her racing heart as he untangled the sheets from around them. Nate. Sex. Holy crap on a cracker. What had she been thinking? Nothing, that’s what. Not one thought of self-preservation had entered her sex-starved head. The clock continued counting down to the most dangerous moment of her life, one she’d engineered to take down the commander’s entire organization, and she’d just complicated the situation beyond belief.
Sheets untangled, Nate moved with sinewy grace to lean back against the headboard. Gentle hands lifted her to sit as he tugged her legs over his thighs. “I want to really see what happened,” he said.
Realization dawned. Light streamed in from the window, fully illuminating the bedroom. The intimacy of the moment tempted her to wish for something that could never happen. Too much had occurred between them, and they both had missions to complete that would most likely get them killed. Plus, it wasn’t like he’d declared love and asked to make a go of it. “No.” She tried to free her legs.
“Yes.” Gentle fingers tapped over the scars both above and below her knee. “How many pins in there?” he asked softly.
She swallowed. Sex was one thing, the intimacy of morning another one entirely. “Five.” Well, five now. “I’ll always have a limp.”
He caressed her flesh, his gaze gray and strong. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “Not your fault. Never was.”
“You don’t blame me?” Incredibly long lashes rested against his skin when he closed his eyes and exhaled. “You should.”
“No.” She reached out and cupped his stubbled jaw, waiting until he focused on her before speaking. “None of this is your fault—it never has been. You’ve always done your best, and you’ve always sacrificed everything. I know I let you down, and I’m sorry.” But she had to continue on her current path in order to make things right. If she shared with him, he’d try to stop her.
He turned his face into her palm with a soft kiss. “Let me get you out of here.”
“No.” She dropped her hand.
He sighed, studying her. “Tell me they made you work for them.”
“They didn’t.” She let the truth show in her eyes.
“Then why?” His voice emerged rougher than freshly laid gravel before trucks pounded each stone into submission.
She slid her legs off his. “They agreed to treat me, to make me better, if I worked for them. The second I regained mobility, I went to work for the senator.”
“But you’re better now. You can leave.” Nate shoved away from the bed, dangerous and naked. Frustration cut harsh grooves along his generous mouth.
Regret and hurt ticked down her spine. She carefully stood, pausing to make sure her leg held. “I don’t want to leave now.” She meant every single word. For nearly five years, she’d suffered, healed, and planned. It was time to take down the commander, and only she could scream the battle cry. From day one she’d known the power of the organization and that the only way to beat it was from the inside. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” Nate ran a rough hand through his hair.
She wanted to level with him. But she and the senator had meticulously planned for three years, and Nate would complicate things. Sure, he would be a huge asset in a fight, but with his emotions in play, he’d go too far.
Audrey sucked in air. Even so, one of her main goals was to protect her mother. Whether it made sense to anybody else or not, she had to try. Nate wouldn’t agree, nor should he. “What’s the plan now?” Audrey asked.
He glanced at the floor. “Do you have a cat?”
“No.” Had he lost his mind?
“I keep hearing a cat,” he mused.
She forced a smile. “Mrs. Abernathy downstairs has a tabby named Chester. You must hear him.” Man, the guy had amazing hearing. “Though Chester doesn’t usually make much noise.”
“I hear his heartbeat. Chester is chasing something. I’ll have to block the noisy feline.” Nate reached down and drew on his jeans. Sinewy muscle shifted at the graceful move.
She swallowed, heat rushing directly south. Even in the devastation of the morning after, her body wanted him back in bed. Now. She had to focus on something else. “Tell me about Jory.”
Nate turned, his jeans unbuttoned, his chest broad, devastation stamping his chiseled face to be smothered like a candlewick under a blanket. No expression remained. “We have a video of a woman shooting Jory and of him falling to the ground.”
Pain slashed into Audrey’s center. She wanted to move forward, but something dangerous in Nate’s eyes stopped her. “When? How?” She shook her head, her mind reeling. “I’ve never heard a word about Jory being shot.”
“Shane thinks he saw another video in which Jory moved, but Shane had a head injury, and the other video has never been found.” Nate’s voice remained monotone as he grasped his shirt to tug over his head. “We’ve looked everywhere, and the only place this could’ve happened is at the commander’s Virginia base. Jory has to be there.”
Nothing should’ve happened to Jory. He was a sweet, very gentle giant in a dangerous world. Tears pricked the backs of Audrey’s eyes. Sure, the guy had been trained to kill, but he’d been so kind to her. Always.
While she hadn’t gotten the chance to really get to know Matt, Shane, or Jory, what she’d seen, she’d liked. They acted as a solid unit, and they’d do anything for each other.
Watching the Gray brothers had made her wish beyond anything else for a sibling to have and love.
But all she had in the world was her mother.
The woman who’d tested and helped train the Gray brothers.
She and Nate would never see eye to eye on that issue. “I’m so sorry about Jory.” The idea of Jory being killed would destroy Nate. How was he even standing? “Do you really think he’s alive?”
“I don’t know. But if he is, the commander has him, and I have to find him,” Nate growled.
She shouldn’t say anything. She really shouldn’t. “There may be another compound somewhere.” The words burst out of her like gun pellets. Maaaan. One night of great sex, and she started telling him things she shouldn’t. Things that would get them both killed.
Nate’s chin slowly lowered. “Where?”
Butterflies on cocaine winged in her abdomen. “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” It was the least she could do. If Jory had been shot by a woman in the commander’s employ, there was a good chance Audrey’s mother had held the gun. Though, maybe not. Just shooting somebody like that spoke of temper, of feeling and not thinking. That did not sound like Isobel Madison. Or maybe Audrey just couldn’t bear it if her mother had killed Jory. “Tell me about the kill chips.”
Anger blazed across Nate’s face. “They’re lodged near our spines, and if the correct code isn’t entered into the correct computer with wireless communication to the chips, they explode in three weeks.” Nate reached back and absently rubbed his shoulder. “I have to get the codes.”
She thought she’d felt fear before, but the claws raking through her gut held poison. A chip ready to sever Nate’s spine? How was this even possible? Brilliant but deadly. “Can’t you take them out?”
“No. If they’re touched with anything, they explode.” His tone remained matter-of-fact.
Audrey poked a bruise on her wrist, her mind reeling. “How delicate are they? I mean, if you’re hit just right, what happens?”
“They blow up.” Nate rubbed his whiskered chin. “We’ve taken nearly five years to prepare and find the commander, and we don’t have anything yet. No codes, no computer program, no idea how to survive this without turning ourselves in.”
“You can’t.” Fear bit into her. “If you turn yourselves in, he’ll never let you go. Ever.”
“I know.” Determination made Nate’s jaw look like carved stone.
Her mind reeled. “How long have you known about the chips?”
He shrugged. “They were implanted a year before we escaped.”
She stilled. “So you knew about them? When we were together?”
His gaze shuttered closed. “Yes. I didn’t see the need to worry you.”
He’d never really opened up to her, had he? A kernel of hurt pricked her heart that he hadn’t confided in her. She was tough enough to take the truth, but it was too late to worry about that now, and she still wanted to help him. “Whatever. I have doctor appointments later this week and will see what I can find out.”
“No.” Nate slid his hands into his front pockets. “I’m not here to put you in danger. Give me the layout of the base here, and I’ll take it from there.”
If he only knew. The need to confide in him tried to push words out, but she didn’t want him to stop her. Darn it. Nate deserved the entire story before he took on the commander. Maybe she should bring Nate into the fold with the senator. But first she needed to get the full plan from the senator before she approached Nate, because the guy would definitely be a hard sell—and something had to happen soon. She nodded. “Okay. I’ll get the layout.”
He shook his head, warning twisting his lip. “Don’t lie to me, Audrey. We both know I could have you contained, away from here, within seconds.”
She gasped, heat spiraling into her cheeks. “And we both know I could have you contained, at the base, within seconds, don’t we?”
Nate stiffened. His chin lifted at the threat while his cock hardened instantly, biting into his zipper. The threat was meant to throw him off balance, but the obvious lie inherent in the words calmed him. The challenge she threw down spurred him on. “I don’t think you’ll call the commander.”
She lifted her chin. “Won’t I?”
“No. Although, when did you start calling him by his first name?” The Audrey Nate remembered had been scared to death of the military leader.
She blew out air and leaned down to fetch a robe from under the bed. She shook the plush material out, frowning at the wrinkles. “Asshat didn’t seem appropriate.”
So she still didn’t like the guy. “If you can’t stand him, why are you working with him?” Nate asked.
“I explained that.”
But there was more. There had to be. “Audrey?”
She sighed. “My mother and the commander are a package deal, and you know it. For whatever reason, Mother has aligned her path with his, and if I want her in my life, I have to accept him. Work is all that matters to them, so I’m part of the work.”
It was the closest the woman had ever come to explaining her twisted relationship with Isobel Madison. Audrey had always reminded him of one of those abused kids who defended their abuser to the last breath. “Neither one of them are good for you,” Nate said quietly.
Audrey lifted a shoulder. “They’re all I have.”
He wanted to argue that point, but how? They weren’t together, and even if they were, there was a good chance his spine would explode in a few weeks. She’d be alone again. “You don’t owe them anything.”
Audrey’s eyes flashed fire. “I owe my mother everything. Life is the only thing that matters, as you know, and she gave me that.”
Nate shook his head. Dr. Madison had preached “life” and experimentation from the beginning. Maybe she’d manipulated Audrey with the thought from early childhood. “If you think that way, then I owe her, too.” Dr. Madison had created him in a test tube. That was life, right?
Confusion clouded Audrey’s eyes. “It’s different,” she said slowly.
A surprising hurt wound through his chest. “So being created in a tube isn’t life?”
“That’s not what I meant.” The words burst out of Audrey. “I mean that she raised me and paid for schooling, tutors, and doctors like a parent does.”
“What was she to me?” Nate asked, truly wanting an answer. He’d always wanted an answer to that question.
“I don’t know.” Sorrow and regret echoed in Audrey’s tone.
Nate studied her, wondering how their very different childhoods had somehow brought them to the same place once again. “Why haven’t you slept with anybody but me?” he asked, surprising himself.
Her head jerked up. Vulnerability paled her delicate face to be quickly hidden as she slid her arms into the robe and belted it around her tiny waist. “I haven’t had a lot of time, with being blown up, operated on, and trying to commit fraud on the U.S. government on behalf of your sworn enemy.” Sarcastic humor lifted her top lip, but the lightness failed to reach her eyes or display that devastating dimple. “Sometimes a girl has to prioritize.”
He’d loved her younger sense of humor. This one? Not so much. Sarcasm and fatalism didn’t fit with the person deep inside Audrey, the one she’d shoved down to survive. “I understand why you stayed to receive medical attention.” The commander’s medical team and facilities beat any other in the world, without question. If anybody could have saved her leg, it was them. “But now it’s time to go.” As much as the thought cut through him like a blade, he didn’t trust her enough to send her to his brothers in Montana. But he could find her safety. “Let me help you.”
“I don’t want your help.” Her stance widened slightly as if they faced off under high noon.
Worse yet, absolute truth lived in every word. The woman really didn’t want his help. A surprising hurt compressed his lungs. “Why are you still working with him?” he breathed out. Could her mother’s approval mean that much to her? After everything?
Audrey lifted her chin. “They saved my life and gave me a second chance. It’s the only life I’ve truly known, and I’m doing some good with the senator.”
“Find another life,” Nate ground out.
“No.” Regret filled her sigh. “You’re the one who told me that our childhood shapes us. I’m doing what I can right now.”
He shook his head. Why did he get the feeling she hid too many secrets? Enough truth breathed in her statement that he couldn’t find the lie, but one lurked deep. He was sure of it. “I’m going to kill him, Aud. Then I’m going to blow up every facility he owns and make sure they never function again. You don’t want to be here for this.”
Awareness pursed her lips as she studied him. Her breath hitched as her chest lifted. Those amazing eyes widened. “Suicide mission?”
“Probably.” Which was yet another reason the previous night had been a one-shot deal. Chances were slim he’d survive the attack he planned after saving his brothers.
She nodded, regret twisting her lip. “Hasn’t that always been your plan?”
“Yes.” Except for the brief time she’d been his. Then his plans had changed dramatically to a future with possible kids and even a f*cking picket fence. He’d known better, without a doubt. A bullshit everyday life had never been for him. He’d been created to kill, and through a lucky turn of fate had been given brothers to love—to protect and ultimately save. They were happy, and once the chips were deactivated, they wouldn’t require his skill set any longer.
He wouldn’t be needed, and he needed them so very much. Too much.
“Hmmm.” Pain lived in her eyes, but no give existed in her jaw. “I just realized… I can’t save you.”
“No.” He frowned. What was she talking about? “I don’t expect you to save me.”
“I know.” She tightened the belt, her eyes glimmering with tears. “I’ll get you the codes and any info on Jory, but you need to decide to save yourself. When this is all over, if you and your brothers survive, you need to save yourself. Decide to keep going.”
That was the rub, now, wasn’t it? The life he’d been created for, the one he’d excelled at, was over. Where exactly was he supposed to go?