He picked up a scarf and wrapped it around his wrist as he talked.
“You like that name, huh?” he asked. “I do.” He paused. “Cadence. I like to say it. Cadence. She’s so small, Andy. I think if I grabbed her hand too hard, I’d break her fingers. I’ve never seen someone so little.”
Sure he had. He’d come across lots of little people, but none of them mattered to him, so he forgot them. He only saw her. She was all that mattered.
He stared at the blue flowers that speckled the fabric of the scarf.
“I want to love her,” he whispered. “I think I’m supposed to. But I don’t want to hurt you.”
He knew it made no sense. How could he hurt her? She was gone. She’d been gone for two years.
Two years.
He looked at the pile of Andy’s things on his bed.
“I can’t explain it, Andy. I looked up at her, and suddenly everything made sense. I had a purpose. Just like that. To love this girl.” He snorted. “I don’t even know that I’ll ever see her again!”
He picked through the pictures until he found his favorite. He had taken it in bed as he hovered over her, tickling her with one hand and taking snapshots with his phone with the other. She was laughing hysterically, and he captured a moment of pure bliss—her mouth thrown open, eyes shut tight, long hair draped over the pillow. Happiness.
“May I?” he asked. He wasn’t quite sure what his question meant until she answered him.
“Let go,” the voice whispered.
He jumped up and dropped the picture on the floor. He scanned the room carefully.
“Andy?”
“Let go.” It was farther away now.
He walked to the corner of the room where he swore he heard it.
“Andy?!”
“Let go.” Just the faintest whisper floating out of the room through the open window.
He ran to it and threw up the sash.
“Andy!” he called. But she was gone. And she had given him her blessing. Now, what to do with it?
He closed the window slowly, then walked back to the bed. He thought of Cadence staring at him, trash stick poised in hand, a look of shock and awe on her face. Why the look? He was a regular guy. He thought he looked like a regular guy. But she gawked anyway and made him nervous.
He’d forgotten that feeling—instant explosions in the heart, like tiny stars bursting in intervals, filling the space with warmth and light. God, he’d do anything to hold on to that feeling! But he needed Andy’s permission first.
And she gave it to him. So now he knew what to do. All the while he packed away Andy’s belongings, he thought about Cadence. And the little stars burst all over again, warming his chest, lighting his heart.
“I’m coming for you,” he said, and the smile broke out on his face. “I’m coming for you, Cadence.”
“I went on a date with Dylan,” Avery said, walking alongside Cadence to the student parking lot.
“No surprise there,” Cadence replied.
Avery bristled. “What does that mean?”
“It means I figured you would. You two were making eyes at each other all during our card night.”
Avery grinned. “He’s nice.”
“He’s a player.”
“No.”
Cadence stopped in her tracks. “Yes, Avery, he is. He has a new girlfriend every time I see him.”
“Not anymore,” she said.
“So you guys are a couple now?”
“Yep.”
“Well, congratulations.” Her tone suggested jealousy.
“What’s your problem?” Avery asked. They stood beside Cadence’s car.
“Nothing. I said congratulations.”
“Yeah, with a bullshit attitude,” Avery replied. “Does this have to do with Mark?”
Cadence snorted. “Oh, so he’s ‘Mark’ now? Is that because you’re dating his best friend?”
Avery sighed patiently. “You’re not gonna take out your anger on me because you’re pissed at your boyfriend.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re acting like a little bitch with a little bitch attitude problem.”
“Are you done? I need to go to work,” Cadence said flatly.
“We wanted to see if you guys wanted to come over for dinner,” Avery said.
“Huh?”
“This Friday night. We’re making dinner.”
“You live at home. How can you go to Gavin’s?”
“Dylan’s.”
“That’s what I meant. Dylan’s,” Cadence said flippantly.
Avery folded her arms over her chest. “My parents think I’m spending the night with Marybeth.”
“Gotcha,” Cadence replied. “Well, I guess we can come over.”
Avery eyed her carefully. “His name is Dylan,” she said.
“Huh?”
“Stop dismissing this, Cadence. He’s important to me,” Avery said.
“You’ve known him five minutes.”
“He’s important to me,” she repeated. Slowly—as a warning.
“Are you going to move in with him?” Cadence asked. She ignored the warning. She heard it, but it didn’t scare her.
“We’ve only known each other five minutes,” Avery replied.
Clever girl, Cadence thought. I can be fucking clever, too.
“Jealousy is really unattractive on you,” Avery said.
“Why would I be jealous? I don’t wanna date Dylan.”
“No. But you wanna be happy right now, and you’re not.”