"Please listen to me!" she shouted, begging. "GO SEE HIM!" My best friend, Tessa screamed. "You will regret this the rest of your life if you don't do this, Daisy! Please just do it!" Her lanky hand kept reaching out for me, but I kept up my childish game of pulling away. Being dragged across the pavement facedown sounded better than coming to terms with the fact that I would never be waking up from the nightmare that had now become my real life.
My lips parted, but my mouth was incapable of forming words. I stood there staring at her while her begging grew more frantic in an effort to gain my attention. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a larger pair of hands grabbed me by my waist firmly, hoisting me into their strong set of arms. "Let go of me!" I wailed, kicking my feet against him but gaining no advantage. The rain poured down on us faster and my eyes widened at the realization of where we were headed.
No.
Hell no.
Hell to the fucking no.
I screamed, kicked and punched with all my will. Nothing. The more I fought back, the faster his pace picked up until finally my body quit producing the energy to fight. Whimpering, I laid limp in his arms, ready to give in to the inevitable. Warm air hit my face first and I twisted around, burying it in the crook of his neck to hide from the curious looks coming my way. I didn't look up until I heard the loud creak of a door opening and suddenly, I was being tossed onto a cold couch in the corner of a dusty room.
"Get your head out of your fucking ass," a dripping, wet Dawson sneered over my shaking body. His black suit was wrinkled and soaked to his body.
I winced at his words but it helped loosen the tongue that had been tied for days. Sure, the person standing in front of me might have been my dead boyfriend's best friend, but his hurt could never match mine.
"Screw you, Dawson!" I cried out, struggling to control the shakiness in my voice. "Don't you even dare try to tell me what the hell I should do!" I tugged on my frizzy locks, pulling them together and sliding my hands down them roughly to wring out the water.
"Well, shit Daisy," he yelled back, bringing out both hands and gesturing towards me. "Someone needs to say something. You're about to miss the entire funeral because you're being fucking selfish!" He paced back in forth in front of me. "How do you think Tanner would feel about how you are acting?" He stopped, mid-stride, narrowing his chestnut-colored eyes at me. My heart dropped at his name but I knew Tanner would understand my reluctance. The man I was in love with would've grasped my hesitation, aware of how hard it would be for me to see him like that.
Dead.
In a casket.
That wasn't the last image I wanted to remember of him. I wanted to treasure our last goodbye-when he kissed me in the hallway and told me how much he loved me.
I snapped, jumping to my feet and leaving a wet spot on the couch behind me. "Don't try to tell me how Tanner would feel," I replied, my voice harsh. "I've known him my entire life. Since the day I was born!" I paused, swiping away the soggy hair falling in my eyes. "You've known him for what?" I stopped, waiting for him to answer my question, but he remained silent. "Four years," I shouted, answering my own question. "So you can shut the hell up!" A shaky finger stabbed him in the chest at my last words.
My emotions had been on overdrive since everything had happened. Not one word I had just said processed through my brain before I allowed them to leap straight out of my mouth into the open. It was a low blow. Everyone, myself included, knew that Tanner loved Dawson like a brother. They were best friends and I was a shitty person to devalue the friendship they had.
My chest heaved in and out, my breathing growing shallower. Dawson and I stood face-to-face, having a stare down, neither one of us making a move or spewing out words in our defense. He was the first to give up at the exact moment his eyes began to glaze over. Shaking his head, he threw up his hands in defeat and shuffled backwards away from me. "Wow," was the only thing that came out of his mouth, but it was enough to let me know I stepped over the line and his patience with me had been extinguished. He whipped around, opening up the creaky door and slamming it shut behind him.
Regret crashed through me and I belatedly took in what had just happened. My legs gave out, and I collapsed onto the carpeted floor. My body tensed up at the feeling of a warm body beside me, wrapping me in their arms. I shook my head in embarrassment and she pulled me into her arms tighter while we both attempted to let our hurt out together.
I cried for the person I lost. I cried for his family and my best friend beside me who lost her twin brother. I cried for the other families who lost a child, a brother or a friend in the shooting. I was certain my tear ducts were close to falling out from excessive flooding.
"I miss him, too," the girl I had been inseparable from my entire life whispered gently into my ear. “We will get through this together."