Behind His Lens

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Charley

The day passed so quickly that as I walk toward the resort’s restaurant for dinner, I realize it feels like an entire week of activities were crammed into the last few hours. This morning, after Jude practically pulled me out of our bed, the crew trekked to Hualalai, an active volcano on the western edge of the island. I learned as we were driving to the location that “active” is a relatively loose term in relation to volcanoes. This one hasn’t erupted since 1801, so our photo shoot was safe and sound.

All of the models dressed in skimpy red and black swimsuits of varying styles. The make-up crew gave us dark, smoky eyes and layered on the mascara until I could hardly lift my eyelid. It was much different than anything I’d ever done before, but Jude was right; it ended up being really fun once we got there. We didn’t do any solo shots. Ryan directed us in small groups and then we took a few with all ten of us for the large centerfolds of the magazine. They should be artistic and sexy. I don’t think anyone will look at volcanoes the same after they see us in our bikinis.

Luckily, the magazine won’t come out for a couple of months, which gives me just enough time to forget about the impending fame. Hell, maybe I’ll miss the release all together and just pretend it never happened. The only evidence will be the big fat paycheck sitting in my bank upon my return back home.

Since it’s our last night in Hawaii, all of the crew is meeting in the hotel restaurant for dinner. It feels bittersweet to be heading home tomorrow, but I miss being in my own space, away from crazy models and intrusive make-up crews. While I’ve enjoyed paradise, I can’t wait to get back to my normal routine.

Except, there’s the question of Jude. I haven’t let myself consider how our relationship will change when we get back to New York. I want to transplant every feeling I’ve had here back home with me, but I can’t avoid the truth forever. I’d be naive to think there’s any kind of future for us.

“Charley!” Bella calls my name, jarring me from my reverie. I glance up to see her standing with a few of the models just outside of the restaurant, waiting for me to catch up. My lips curl into what seems like a genuine smile as I step closer.

“Hey, thanks for waiting,” I offer, trying to shake the black cloud that had suddenly darkened my mood. It’s strange how quickly that hopeless feeling can weasel its way back into my world. I wring out my hands. Is it from thinking about things ending with Jude? I’ve been alone for a long time; it’s nothing new.

“No problem, but I’m starving, so let’s go eat.” She links her arm around mine and tugs me forward until we’re stepping into the tropical restaurant.

The restaurant itself is gorgeous, but they have the porch screens open so that the Hawaiian sunset becomes the focal point of the entire eastern wall. The ocean’s waves are audible over the soft island music streaming from the corners of the room.

Modern tiki torches adorn the perimeter walls, offering sultry lighting and leading our path to the porch where the hostess declares that our party will be seated.

The open porch blankets the restaurant in warm humidity, making me glad I opted for a thin criss-crossed strappy dress. My hair is rolled into a messy, low bun, but a few strands have already escaped the hair tie. I have to keep coaxing them back as the breeze blows them gently against my cheek.

I know Jude’s here already because Ryan asked him to come down earlier for a drink. I was hoping we’d have some time together after the shoot, but we ended up getting back later than we expected. All day I was busy getting plucked and prodded and he was busy snapping photos. We haven’t been able to say more than two words to each other since this morning. It’s strange how quickly the sinking feeling in my stomach can return. It’s like Jude wields the power to relax me, and when he’s not around, my stomach coils into the same tight ball I’ve had for the past four years.

“Are you okay?” Bella asks with a concerned look. I twirl my antique ring around my finger out of habit and try to sound genuine as I lie to her face.

“Yeah. Probably just hungry.” Such bullshit. I’ve only felt genuine hunger a few times in the past four years and only when I’ve been with Jude. Isn’t that strange? What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t even know him. The more I consider it, the angrier I become. What do I think he’s going to do? Swoop in and save the day? Erase every memory that keeps me awake at night?

Just then we cross the threshold out onto the porch and the hostess passes each of us a drink menu before excusing herself.

“Hi, girls,” Ryan calls as we step down onto the open patio. The restaurant staff pushed a few tables together so that the entire crew could sit together. They arranged gorgeous orchid leis onto the back of each wicker chair and soft candles glow in a line down the long tablescape. Immediately, everyone starts shuffling around, clamoring for spots next to one another, but I hang back, taking in the scene from the top of the stairs.

It takes two breaths before my eyes land on Jude.

He’s stands off to the side with one hand wrapped around the neck of a beer and one hand tucked into his jeans’ pocket. He has on a white cotton button-down that’s half tucked into his jeans and a smooth smile, drawing me closer like a moth to a flame. I step closer with fluid movements and each inch seems to release the coil in my stomach until it dissipates completely. Just like that, he’s unraveled every worry I’d built up throughout the day.

He narrows his eyes with intense focus as he watches me approach.

“We match,” I smile, glancing from my white dress, back to his shirt.

“Should I take it off?” He cocks his brow.

My heart flutters wildly at the thought.

“And send every girl here into heart failure? Let’s save that for dessert… at least.”

He grins and then gives my body a once over. “I like when you wear white.” God, when he looks at me like that I feel as though I have nothing on at all.

“Do I wear it often?”

He squints and takes a sip of his beer, not willing to elaborate I guess because he changes the subject.

“Did you have fun at the shoot?”

Did I? Surprisingly, yes. “I felt like a vampire or something with that black swimsuit and crazy make-up.”

He laughs gently. “I could see it. You aren’t pale enough though.” His gaze lingers momentarily on me before he takes another sip.

My hand runs over my exposed shoulder, feeling the skin that’s darkened nicely since we’ve been under the Hawaiian sun. It’ll fade once we get back to New York, but for now I feel tanned and pretty, especially under his gaze.

“You have some freckles on your nose,” I point out, and he wrinkles his nose in protest. They’re hardly noticeable, not with his mysterious eyes, tousled hair, and charisma distracting any girl within a ten foot radius.


“Do I? Usually I get a few when I’m outside for a long time.”

“I like them. You’re a manly-man, so the freckles seem… charming.”

He narrows his eyes and reaches out to wind his hand around the back of my neck, tugging me toward him. His finger skims along the bottom of my hairline and my heart kicks into overdrive.

“I’m not charming,” he protests as his fingers glide under my hair, sending a delicious shiver down my spine.

“No?” I ask, pressing my hands against his chest and feeling the play of his hard muscles beneath the thin fabric.

“Not usually.”

“Mmm… I’m flattered,” I murmur watching his lips creep closer to mine.

“I’m going to sleep in your bed again tonight, Charley.”

“Okay,” I breathe, never looking away from his mouth.

“But we aren’t going to sleep,” he whispers so that no one overhears.

“Oh.” My mouth forms a perfect “O” and then hangs there, frozen.

“So, let’s get some dinner in you so we can leave.”

Can he feel my pulse riot from his declaration?

“Let’s just go now,” I plead.

“Charley, Charley,” he bends and kisses my neck so briefly that my skin aches for more. “You need food and we should be respectful of the rest of the cast.”

I narrow my eyes, mumbling under my breath, “To hell with them”, as he drags me over to the table so we can sit down. He chuckles and ignores my hollow threat.

There are still a few people mingling around the porch chatting, but for the most part, everyone has started to sit and order drinks and food. Jude and I pull out chairs next to Bella. Ryan’s already relaxing across from her, nursing some kind of island cocktail with Victoria sitting beside him, hanging onto his every word. I wonder if she likes him or if she just wants to have fun the last night in Hawaii.

“How’d you like your first cover shoot, Charley?” Ryan asks with a bright smile after we take our seats.

Within seconds, I feel Jude’s hand skim the back of my thick wicker chair, barely touching my skin, but sending a clear message all the same.

“I really enjoyed it actually. I liked your vision today. I haven’t seen anything like it before.”

He nods, soaking in my approval. “I’m glad you liked it. We wanted the vibe to be different from any shoot we’ve done in the past. Did you see last years’ issue?”

I nibble on my bottom lip and glance quickly to Jude and then back. “No, actually. I’m terrible about picking up magazines. Where was it shot?”

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Oh, that’s a shame. You should find a copy. We filmed in Greenland. Do you remember how pissed the models were the entire weekend, Bella?” he asks, turning his attention to her with a mischievous smile.

“Oh my god, I thought we agreed to forget that weekend all together!” she laughs, turning to me. “They expected us to pose in bikinis in like negative twenty degree weather. We were all threatening to sue.”

“Jeez! That’s just cruel; I’ll take active volcanoes over snow any day.”

Jude laughs next to me, “I felt pretty terrible wrapped in a parka when they were all shivering.”

“What a tough job you have, Mr. Anderson,” I quip, eliciting laughs from Bella and Ryan, but Jude’s gaze clouds over in an instant and he turns toward the table to adjust his silverware. Did I insult him? He should be proud; he’s a great photographer.

“Hey,” I lean in gently, wrapping my hand over his. “Everything okay? I was just kidding.”

He nods distractedly, fiddling with his fork “Yeah.”

“Would you guys like to order?” A chipper voice asks behind us, and we all mumble apologies, realizing we haven’t even looked at the menus yet.



“That was amazing! I would have never thought to combine pineapple and pulled pork,” I rave as we push the door open to my hotel room and pad across the plush carpet.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“Mmm. I loved it.” I toss my purse onto an overstuffed armchair and splay back onto the bed like a sated princess. Jude stands a few feet away with his head cocked to the side and a smirk coating his beautiful lips.

“Did you like the food?”

“I think I liked our picnic yesterday better,” he hints, all amusement seeping from his feral gaze.

I bite my lip nervously and mention the first thing that comes to mind.

“Do you think there could be something going on between Ryan and Victoria?” I ask, propping myself up on my elbows and staring up into his blue eyes.

His fingers run along his stubble as he mulls over my question. “Maybe. They’ve worked with each other a lot, but they could just be good friends.”

“But they shared a meal and he offered to walk her back to her room,” I say, wiggling my eyebrows. “There’s definitely something going on between them,” I declare confidently, like a detective solving a crime.

He nods slowly, accepting the idea. Then his captivating eyes stare into me as he asks, “Is there something going on between us?”

For a brief moment, the oxygen leaves my body and I’m left paralyzed.

Yes, my subconscious shouts.

But then my lungs inhale and my defenses are already gearing into motion. “Of course… I mean we shared a meal and you walked me back to my room too,” I joke, making light of his serious question.

“Charley…” his tone is dark and deadly.

I want to scream “What do you want from me, Jude!?” He can’t ask me questions like that unless he wants to hear answers he won’t like.

“Why did you get upset earlier when I joked about your job being easy?” I ask with narrowed eyes. If he wants to make me feel uncomfortable then I’ll do the same and see how much he likes it. We’re both hiding demons, but he seems to have forgotten that fact since we’ve been in paradise. I thought we were having fun and forgetting about everything but us, here and now.

His hands run through his hair forcefully, tugging on the dark stands as he stares out over the ocean.

“It’s not a story I’ve told many people,” he offers vaguely, as if that’s enough to end the conversation. Like hell it is.

I scoot back over the duvet cover until my body rests against the headboard. I don’t say a word; I don’t goad him into speaking. Honestly, it’d be easier if he shut off like I do, closing the subject so we can move onto the physical side of our “relationship”. That way there wouldn’t be any confusion about what our arrangement is. A part of me desperately wants him to open up and reveal his secrets, but I know it’ll complicate things. We should just stick to what’s on the surface: our chemical attraction. Plain and simple.

He doesn’t move and he doesn’t look at me. His hands are folded around his chest and his eyes are glued to the ocean beyond my room’s window.

But then he starts talking, and my heart slowly crumbles under the weight of his words.

“After college, I went to work for a popular Magazine as a war photographer. It’s the goal most photojournalism majors aspire to: covering real news in areas of the world that need exposure. I’d interned at the magazine through college and when they offered me the position, I would have been insane to pass it up.”

I had no idea he was a war photographer. He said his current job was easier than the last, but I just assumed it was something else, something lighter.


“We were stationed in various villages inside Iraq. My assignment was meant to last a month, but they ended up extending it a few times and I stayed for a little over eight months in total. That was the longest eight months of my life.” As he speaks, his eyes darken and his jaw clenches tight. “The war we fight over there is different than the wars of the past. Today’s conflicts aren’t fought on battlefields. Instead of marching troops toward your enemy with rifles at the ready, modern militaries engage in urban fighting. We had to keep our eyes peeled every moment because the enemy could have been anywhere. There was no separation between war and life, only constant paranoia of what could be waiting around the corner.”

My hand clasps over my mouth, but I don’t make a sound.

“At first, I tried to focus on what I could control: the exposures, saturation, and white balance of my photos. I was taking photos that were meant to shock the western world and was doing a great job at it. I followed marine units, protesters, and civilians step-for-step— through decaying neighborhoods and crowded markets so that I could take photos of the combatants and the afflicted. Civilians suffering from food shortages, hospitals overflowing with the sick and injured, and entire villages burning beneath the weight of war.”

“Every night as I scrolled through photos, trying to decide which to send to my boss, the tragedies of the day would hit me. I’d push everything away during the day, internalizing the overwhelming suffering. But at night the disguise would slip and I’d start to contemplate the darkness surrounding me,” he pauses and takes a heavy breath. “But it wasn’t until I met Ali that everything f*cking collapsed.”

A tear rolls down his cheek and I’m taken aback by all he’s had to endure. What could have happened to him?

“Jude. You don’t have to keep going.”

He wipes the tear away forcefully and continues his story. I think it might be easier for him to say it all at once. If he stops now, I wonder if he’d ever want to bring it up again.

“Ali was a little boy that lived in the village we were stationed in during the end of my assignment. I’d see him every morning, begging for food with the rest of these orphaned boys. We were taught to keep the civilians at a distance, to remain unbiased observers.”

“I couldn’t begin to understand the culture of that village. Hunger will do crazy things to people, but I didn’t know. I had no clue what the consequences would be.” The anguish behind his confessions overflows my eyes with sad tears. What could have possibly happened?

“Charley, he was so f*cking skinny I could see every bone in his body.” Finally Jude looks at me and my heart splits in two. “I couldn’t just ignore it. Every day it weighed on my conscience. To be a good war photographer you have to be willing to get as close as possible to the subject without feeling a goddamn thing. What kind of bastard can do that?”

“Jude,” I plead through quiet tears. I want to assure him he did the right thing, but I don’t want to interrupt him.

“After I’d thought about it for days, one morning I packed an extra protein bar and some bread in my camera bag. I went to the village center to find him like I did every morning. He’d picked up a few words of English and he would ask me my name and if I had a ‘family in America’. He asked me that every day, and every day I’d say no and keep walking. That morning, I told him to follow me over to a side alley. I had to pull him away; there were too many people starving, not just these orphans, but the entire village. The UN was trying to send aid, but it wasn’t getting to these small villages fast enough.”

“I gave him the food and he started crying. He tore into the bread as quickly as he could. But I couldn’t stay; I’d already been gone from my crew for too long.”

With slow movements, I crawl off the bed and wrap my arms around him, not knowing what else to do. I want to reach in and take away every ounce of sadness; wipe him completely clean. He doesn’t deserve to feel any of this.

“I should have f*cking stayed. I’ll regret leaving him with that food for the rest of my life.” His sob breaks through the room, and I feel his heart beating wildly against my ear.

“Jude, you fed him. He was so hungry and you gave him food.”

I feel his head shake above me. “They found him. A group of teenagers found him with the food, and they tried to steal it. The other orphaned boys saw it happening. They said he wouldn’t give it up and they beat him. They killed him to get that f*cking protein bar. Because I couldn’t just do my job and stay the f*ck away, Ali died.”

“No! Jude!” I pull back to look into his eyes, but his gaze is focused on the bed just over my head. “If you didn’t feed him, he would have died anyway. You did the right thing, Jude.” I know my words fall on deaf ears. It’s like I’m looking at him through a two-way mirror; he’s so far away, but I can see every emotion etched across his beautifully sad features. He hasn’t forgiven himself and nothing I say will get through to him now.

“It doesn’t matter, Charley. Even if there was no Ali, the war changes everyone. I watched soldiers, coworkers, and civilians get injured or die every day. It wears you down. Having to constantly be on watch turns your body into a bundle of nerves. They diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress disorder when I got back and I went to therapy for a while. But even therapists can’t quite grapple with the trauma. Soldiers have a mission: to eliminate the enemy. They have their own set of difficulties, and I can’t image what it would feel like to kill someone. But the lines are blurred for journalists and photographers. We have to get close, too close to the tragedies. The closer we get, the better our photos, and the more f*cked up we become.”

He shakes out of my tight grasp and steps away to take a few calming breaths. “Now I’ve just come to live with the night terrors. They’ve lessened over the years. And the more I fill my life with meaningless photography jobs, the less I have to think about what happened over there.”

“That’s why you never dated.”

He shrugs. “It wasn’t a conscious decision. It fell into place. Girls were a means to an end. I’d learned how to compartmentalize every demon when I was in Iraq and it seemed easier to keep everyone at bay.”

“I’m glad you let Bennett in.”

He nods and I see his features starting to relax. “Bennett has been my friend since we were kids. He knew me before I went overseas and he could see how much it changed me. I’ve talked about it with my family briefly as well. Other than that I’ve just learned to live with it.”

“Jude. I’m so sorry.” Those are the only words I can say. Everything else that springs to mind seems cliché and trite.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m alive and I truly enjoy most parts of my life. Ali is dead and that knowledge will forever haunt me.”

We sit in a long period of silence. The kind of silence that wraps around your body and freezes you in place as you try to process the intricacies of the world we live in.

I tuck my head under his chin and wrap my arms around his chest. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I’m glad I did. I want us to be honest with each other, Charley.”

I close my eyes, inhaling his scent and pretending I didn’t hear his last sentence.


“Let’s go to bed, Jude.”

“No,” he demands, his grip tightening around my waist. “I don’t want to go to bed. I want to be with you. I want to feel you moving under me. After everything that’s happened, you make me feel alive, like the last four years don’t have to be what the rest of my life looks like.”

It’s too much. I can give him an inch, but he’s demanding a mile. His words wind around my soul and each syllable tugs the rope tighter and tighter until I’m sure I’ll shatter.

“Let’s just be here, Jude. That’s all I can give you right now. Just be here with me for tonight,” I plead, hearing the desperation in my voice.

I have to be honest with him about that. I need him to know my limits before we do anything we can’t take back.

I expected him to argue against my request, but the hunger building behind his gaze highlights the transition taking place between us: from a deep conversation toward the concession of our passionate desire. It sparks between us like the brewing of a storm, and I step back instinctively, trying to separate myself from the consuming downpour.

My movements are futile though.

Jude reaches down with his hands, sliding them from my lower back, down to the sides of my hips. He slowly bunches the bottom of my dress in his palms. His eyes are focused and demanding, never straying from my gaze as he pulls my dress up and over my lacy underwear.

“Take it off.” He tugs on my dress, forcing my obedience with his heady touch.

My tongue reaches out to wet my lips as my shaky hands find the hem of my dress. I pull it off in one quick flourish and then let it drop from my fingers without a glance toward the silky white material.

I’m standing before him in a matching lace bra and panties. My strappy heels are still adorning my ankles, but as Jude’s eyes take in every inch of me, he doesn’t seem to mind their presence.

He steps closer, dipping low to connect his supple mouth with my neck while his hands drift up my arms. He nips and licks, trailing his mouth down the front of my chest. All the while his hands reach from my bare shoulders down my neck to cup my breasts.

My soft cry awakens my desire even more.

I wasn’t expecting his touch. He grasps me with such possession that I dip toward him, letting him take his fill of me. For tonight, I’ll be his and pretend he’s mine. It feels so right and I want all of him, every inch of him against me, taking me and pretending to love me.

His fingers find the back of my bra, flicking it open and letting it fall between us. I fumble for the buttons of his shirt, needing, wanting to feel our skin crashing together. I curse trying to unbutton as fast as I can. He tugs the last few buttons off. When his shirt slides down his arms, I push myself toward him, feeling his hard chest press against my sensitive nipples and igniting my soul.

Each movement passes faster than the last and soon the lines blur between which of us is controlling my body. My legs wrap around his torso and he hoists me up and shoves me back against the hotel’s wall. The armoire next to us rattles loudly from our wild tango and I giggle before his mouth finds mine. He sucks me in, kissing me hard, almost bruising my lips. But I meet him kiss for kiss, trying to eradicate the space between us. His breath is minty and consumes my senses, drawing my attention to the lust building in my core.

F*ck.

Nothing seems to be enough. I need more. I scratch my nails down his back, making him groan huskily and force me up against the wall harder.

“F*ck, Charley,” he drawls out as his hips roll into mine, grinding our bodies together.

His mouth captures my nipple and I cry out, loud, not caring if everyone in the hotel can hear us. I just want to give him everything, all of me. His teeth tease my tight bud as his hand finds my other breast, kneading it in his hands and unraveling the ribbons of my lust throughout my body.

“Tonight. I’m going to do anything that I want with you. You’re mine.”

“I… Jude.”

“Are you on birth control?”

God, I don’t even care! “Yes,” I breathe, “the pill.”

“Good.”

He spins me around so fast that I tighten my hands around his shoulders for fear that I’ll lose my grip around his waist. He bends down, placing me on the bed with my legs bent up and open wide for him. Subconsciously, I move to readjust and hide myself, but his hands clamp down on my inner thighs, pushing me back open for him.

“Don’t hide from me. Not tonight. This sweet spot is all mine and I plan on tasting it until I get my fill.”

My body clenches in anticipation. It’s been so long, years, since anyone has done this to me, and my adrenaline spikes, wanting his lips on me so badly that I can’t wait another second.

“Please, Jude.”

“Shh, baby. I’ll give you everything you need.” His wicked voice holds so much promise that I have to bite down hard on my lip to tamp down my overwhelming desire. I just need him. My body hums, alive and waiting for him to fill me. I watch him unbuckle his pants and slide them down his hips, revealing his tight black boxer briefs. The bulge hidden beneath fills me with a new wave of wetness, but I can’t ignore the brief moment of fear.

There’s no time to worry because he’s already bending down on his knees and tugging my body to the end of the bed so that my skin glides along the silky duvet cover. My eyes flutter closed as ecstasy starts to overwhelm my entire world. I feel like I’m on the seat of a roller coaster, rounding the top of the curve, waiting to plummet down.

Then suddenly Jude’s warm breath falls on the sensitive flesh around my panties and there’s no more silence. Soft moans break through my throat as his finger trails along the edge of my panties, so close to where I need him to be.

Cold air suddenly douses my flesh as he drags my panties to the side, completely exposing every inch of me. He doesn’t touch me. Instead, I watch him gaze over my flesh with heated desire. It’s such an intimate feeling, having him study me, but my curiosities are answered the moment he starts to murmur soft words.

“You’re so beautiful, Charley. Pink and wet just for me.” My head presses back into the duvet cover as I arch away from his searing words. This can’t be real. He fulfills every desire within me— possessing me, controlling me, loving me. His deft fingers open up my delicate folds and I almost lose it, my body almost shatters beneath his touch.

Each touch of his is willfuland calculated. He takes his time, examining me and kissing all of the delicate flesh surrounding my center. But then without warning, his warm breath caresses my *, and a moment later his tongue finds the same spot. I buck my hips beneath him, but his strong hands pin my legs to the bed, forcing me to feel his relentless torture. It’s impossible to lie still as he kisses me, lapping me up gently. I’m crooning in a lust-filled haze as his tongue dips deep into my folds, over and over again. Waves of pleasure follow every lap of his tongue.

He sucks my * into his mouth stimulating every single nerve in my body, but it’s not enough. I know because when his finger slides into me, my pleasure heightens tenfold and fireworks explode behind my eyelids.

“Yes,” I cry, wanting him to know how much his touch affects me.

His long, deft finger slides in and out, coated in my wetness.

“I’m going to watch you come while I finger you, Charley,” he declares with such arrogance and confidence that I know my body will comply with his every whim.


He slides a second finger in, stretching me, and then his mouth swirls around my *, bringing me closer and closer.

“Do you feel how tight you are? How much my fingers stretch you? I want to feel you around my cock, Charley.”

My hips meet his fingers, pushing him deeper, needing more.

“I want you inside of me,” I murmur, knowing we both need the same thing.

He doesn’t listen though. His fingers speed up, f*cking me hard and my body kicks into overdrive.

“Come for me, Charley.”

His tongue finds my * again, sucking it into his mouth, matching the quick thrusts of his fingers. The combination completely breaks me and my orgasm comes so fast as I scream out his name. I love the way his name sounds, breaking through my throat like a wild plea. The ripples of pleasure extend to every part of my body, leaving no cell untouched.

My eyes blink open as Jude shoves his boxer-briefs down and rips off my shoes and panties, leaving us both completely bare. There’s so much more to feel and all too soon. My body cries out for his touch.

He starts to crawl over me, onto the bed, cocooning me beneath his hard muscles. His smoldering blue eyes glare down at me as he groans, “I love making you come, Charley. Making that sweet little p-ssy of yours ripple around me.”

“Take me,” I plead, drowning in his enticing scent and touch.

He grabs my hips and shoves me up higher onto the bed so that we can both fit. I pant beneath him, waiting for his next move.

“I’ve been tested and I always use protection. I want to feel every inch of you. Charley. Do you trust me?”

Absolutely.

“Yes, Jude.”

Suddenly he pulls my legs apart and settles his hard erection against my folds, running it up and down, coating it with my slickness.

“Please.” I wiggle my hips, trying to press him into the exact spot where I need him. He never stops stroking himself against me as I speak, and my words come out harsh and jagged. But any hope of trying to quell my exposed desire is forgotten when his mouth crushes against mine, claiming me, branding me as his for the night.

I open up to him willingly, pressing my legs hard against the bed so that every inch of him crushes against my skin. He stretches my lips and with one hard thrust, his dick slides into me and I cry out, trying to adjust to the overwhelming sensations. It’s been so long since I’ve had sex and the last time was so different. I wasn’t expecting the pain, but in a flash it’s gone, flooded by desire and red-hot need.

“Oh, my angel. You feel like heaven. We were made for each other,” he coos into my ear as he thrusts into me slowly, torturously drawing his cock in and out of me. Shivers erupt down my body as he drags his cock against my most sensitive spot.

Our bodies respond together, moving in a rhythm that builds, each thrust harder than the last, until finally he’s f*cking me with absolute ownership. He fills me completely, digging his fingers into the sensitive flesh of my inner thigh and pinning me under him. I like it. It’s scary how much I like this. Him controlling me, forcing me to feel every inch of him inside of me. His movements are so controlled, and his desire for me spills out between us, coating me in sweet seduction. God I need him so bad. I want him forever; tonight isn’t enough.

He rocks against me harder, pushing me into the bed forcefully. Meeting his demands, I reach up to twist my hands through his hair, yanking his head down to me. Our lips touch, and then like magic, our mouths open and our bodies meld together completely. I taste myself on his tongue, sweet and sexy, such a divine combination that sends my mind reeling.

His tongue, his kiss, his taste all make me want to beg for more.

With a quick shove, he pushes himself up onto his knees so he can see his dick sliding in and out. The new angle forces him even deeper inside me and his hard thrusts jolt my entire body to life. His hands wrap around my breasts, engulfing them with his sweet touch as he rams into me harder and harder. Our sweaty bodies press together in frantic, primal need.

“I want to feel you come around me,” he commands roughly, plunging deeper with quick, mastered movements. His deep groans meet my soft cries as every single inhibition melts away and my body cries for release.

“Jude! That feels so good,” I cry out.

“You like that, Angel? Feel me. Feel me stretching your tight p-ssy.”

My body obeys and once again I find myself careening toward complete bliss. I tighten around his dick and come undone, screaming his name with such unabashed pleasure that I’m sure he can see straight through me. He milks every drop out of me, pushing the pleasure to last longer and longer until my consciousness completely fades for a moment and I’m left with only the sensations he gives me. Hard, raw passion pounding into me as his own orgasm meets mine and he groans loudly, filling me with his sweetness and caressing every inch of my core until I’m left completely satiated.

So much so that I may never open my eyes again.

Jude

She’s everything. The way she screamed my name as we came together will forever be burned in my memories as the most erotic and beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. My hand strokes her cheek as we lay paralyzed, trying to float back to reality. Her bright blue eyes stay focused on me, but as she blinks, her eyelids start to linger closed longer and longer. I know soon she’ll slink away from the conscious world all together.

I hop up off the bed and quickly clean myself off before grabbing a washcloth for Charley. I don’t want her to get up; I don’t want this moment, or this night, to end. When I crawl back into bed, she smiles up at me with a lazy grin and stretches out to envelope me in her arms. I accept willingly, dragging the washcloth over her sensitive sex and cleaning up the remnants of our love-making.

Were we making love?

I push the thought aside. It isn’t the time for monumental decisions. Tonight was more than anything I could’ve hoped for, and that is enough for right now.

After I set the washcloth on the side table, I relax against her and she wraps herself around me like ivy winding up a tree.

“Mmm… thank you… for everything,” she hums before pressing a chaste kiss to my chest.

I capture one of her hands in mine and bring it to my lips, kissing her palm and trying to show her every unspoken word hanging on the tip of my tongue.

“I don’t think anything will ever compare to that,” she muses, letting her eyelids flutter closed against my chest. I lay awake watching her for a few minutes, getting carried away with the idea of falling asleep with her like this every night. Her body feels so small and warm against mine, but the way she’s wrapped around me makes me feel needed, desired.

“Goodnight, Charley,” I whisper wistfully, even though she’s already drifted off to sleep. I stroke her pale blonde hair away from her face, revealing every inch of her delicate beauty.

“I wish I could keep you,” I murmur into the dark void.

R.S. Grey's books