I relaxed further into his body. The hand around my waist gripped my hip and squeezed. “You have to tell me what’s going on in your head.”
“At the moment, nothing. Your hands are making me brain dead.” I giggled but Matt wasn’t laughing.
“What’s going on with Pornsake?”
“His name is Dan.”
“What’s going on with Dan the man?”
“Nothing. He’s nice. He’s my teacher. He bought me a bow and offered to buy me dinner. End of story. Oh, and he’s forming this orchestra to go abroad, all over Europe. He want’s me to do it.”
I felt Matt stiffen. “For how long?”
“A year and a half . . . but I’m not going. It’s too long and I don’t want to postpone grad school.”
He kissed my ear. “Okay.” I felt him relax again.
His hand snaked down farther and I gasped when he made contact with the most sensitive part of my body. He made slow, deliberate circles at first, gently, and then he added more pressure. I felt the air on my nipples and tingles down my spin. My legs jittered.
“Has anyone ever touched you like this?”
“No.” The word came out in a rush of air.
He kissed my ear. “Have you ever touched yourself like this?”
I nodded.
“Tell me what you like.”
“What you’re doing?” I moaned.
“I want you so bad, Gracie.”
With all the tension that we had built up for each other over the last few months, and after several minutes of Matt’s handiwork, I felt it happening. He never changed his motion; he knew exactly what he was doing to me. It was almost painful how worked up I was, but I knew I needed it for the release. I put my hand over his so he wouldn’t stop. My stomach clenched and cold surges of electricity shot through my legs. I thought for a minute about what Matt was witnessing and the good feelings started to subside.
He whispered, “Relax. Let go.” And then I did, and everything built up again, more quickly this time, until there was no stopping it. My body pulsed over and over. He held his large, warm hand against me as he kissed and sucked at my neck until the quaking stopped.
My head pressed back hard against his shoulder. “God,” was all I could say.
He ran his hands up and down my arms. “You’re so beautiful.”
I had experienced that feeling before, but only alone, and I never expected to feel comfortable enough with anyone to be able to let go like that. Matt knew exactly what to do.
I turned to face him, and we kissed. “Thank you,” I said near his ear. I tried to deepen the kiss but he stopped and said, “Bed time, young lady.” He pinched my butt.
“Ouch, jerk!”
“Go to sleep, Grace.”
“Don’t you want me to do stuff to you?”
“Yes, soon, before I die. But not tonight.”
“Where did you learn it?” I asked, my voice raspy.
He was on his back and I was on my side, lying in the crook of his arm, looking up at him.
“Where’d I learn what?”
“What you did to me. Do all guys know it?”
He was quiet. I could see his eyes blinking as he stared up at the ceiling. I think he was trying to figure out how to answer the question. A faint glow came through the window from outside. There was just enough moonlight peeking through the shade for me to see Matt’s lazy smile. “I don’t know if all guys know how, but if I told you how I learned it, you’d laugh.”
“Oh, you must tell me now.” I bit his arm. “What, are you like a porn connoisseur?”
“No. Men learn nothing from porn. I think porn is more about pleasing men.” Matt was wise beyond his years.
“Hmm, maybe I should watch some then.”
“You’ll be fine. Your mere existence is pleasing enough. Trust me.”
Pushing myself off his arm, I rolled onto my other side, facing away from him. “Oh please, Matt. I know nothing and I’m going to embarrass myself when we do it.”
He rolled over and tucked me against his body, spooning me. His voice was low. “Don’t think about doing it anymore, okay, Grace? Let’s just let it happen naturally.”
“Fine.” I said through a yawn.
We lay in the hazy light, teetering on the brink of sleep. “My mother taught me.”
“What?” That woke me up. “Your mom taught you what?”
“Well, she’s kind of a hippie-feminist. It’s not that she showed me what to do. She was always trying to teach my brother and me how to treat women equally, and I guess this was just part of it.”
“And so . . . ?”
“She gave me a book on the female orgasm and basically said, ‘Don’t be an asshole.’ ”
I laughed so hard that my body curled into a little ball. “Wow!” I chuckled. “I really like your mom, Matt.”
“You two would get along.”
“So you read the book?” I asked.
“Every goddam page. Many times.”
“Well, you certainly aced the practical test, although I’m sure it wasn’t the first time you’ve taken it.”
“No more talking, Gracie. Close your eyes.”
“Maybe I’ll get to meet your mom sometime.”
“Yeah.” It was quiet for few minutes. “I hope.”
I woke up alone the next morning. On my nightstand sat a bagel, coffee, and a note.
G-