My hands slid around to his backside and then down, his boxer briefs lowering with the movement. As soon as he was exposed, he pulled my panties to the side, touching his skin to mine.
I braced myself, and then I gasped as he slowly rocked his hips forward, working himself inside me. My fingers dug into his back, the mattress creaking in a slow rhythm with each gentle thrust.
Taylor bent down to taste my lips again, groaning in my mouth as he buried himself deep. I crossed my ankles behind him, letting him get closer, sink deeper.
Somewhere on the lower level, his family’s intermittent laughter floated up, reminding us both to be quiet. Each time I needed to cry out, Taylor would cover my mouth with his. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, only conscious of the build within me and the push and pull as my body begged equally for more and for release. Taylor provided both, over and over, for hours into the night until I was completely consumed.
Every inch of me felt raw and relaxed as Taylor collapsed next to me, panting and smiling.
“Holy shit, woman. I thought I loved you before …”
I reached down until I found Taylor’s fingers, letting them intertwine with mine. “As long as you love me after. Now, that would be something new.”
He turned onto his side, propping his head with his hand. “Those aren’t words I just throw around. I’ve never said that to anyone besides family.”
“I’ve only said it to one person until now.”
He shook his head. “Just one?”
I looked at the window, the glow from the streetlight outside pouring in. “Olive.”
“No one else?”
“No,” I said, looking back at him. I touched his cheek. “Just you.”
The thought seemed comforting to him, and he relaxed.
My eyes closed, and while Taylor settled in beside me, I willingly let fatigue drag me down beneath the waves of unconsciousness. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t alone in the dark.
Waking up in Thomas’s old room in Jim’s house, I worried that Taylor would wake up at any moment, and awkwardness would set in. The sun had been up about as long as I had, but Taylor was still asleep next to me, breathing slow and deep.
Birds chirped outside, a perfect blue sky and a few electrical wires the only things visible through the window from where I lay on the bed. It was going to be one of the best days of my life. Whether Olive knew it or not, it was the day I would become a part of her memories, and I could carry that with me forever.
“Baby?” Taylor said. Tightening the arm that had been relaxed across my middle, he pulled me closer to him.
“Yes?” I said, taken off guard by the term of endearment. In my experience, those terms were only used when trying to keep up appearances.
“I’m not sure I can ever wake up without you again.” His voice was sleepy but content.
I breathed out a laugh and nuzzled my nose against his neck. “You can.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Estes Park is going to miss you.”
“I guess so.” He covered my cheek in kisses. “So, what’s the plan today? I don’t want to be an accomplice to kidnapping before breakfast.”
I sighed. “I don’t want her to know who I am or why I’m here. I just … want to see her with my own eyes. This time, I’ll be prepared, and I can savor the moment of when I leave a tiny footprint in her life even if I’ll be the only one who knows.”
“I’ll know.”
“I know it sounds selfish,” I said, covering my eyes with my fingers.
Taylor lifted my chin with one hand, uncovering my eyes with the other. “It’s probably the least selfish thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Olive is next door, and all you want is to be introduced as a stranger, so you can hold on to that moment while she goes on with her life.”
I’d never thought of it that way. It sounded sad but honorable. Once again, the woman reflected in Taylor’s eyes was someone worthy of forgiveness. No amount of gratitude could ever repay something like that.
“You’re just saying that because you have to,” I teased.
He smiled, but there was only sincerity in his eyes. “I’m saying it because it’s true.”
When I didn’t respond, he looked down. The sudden change in his mood was disconcerting.
“What?” I asked.
“I want to ask you something even though the answer doesn’t matter.”
I waited.
“Where’s Olive’s father? Her biological father?”
I swallowed. “That’s a long conversation.”
“But you didn’t love him?”
I shook my head. It was true. Even before I’d met Taylor, I knew appreciating the attention of an older man—a man who was supposed to be an authoritative figure—was not the same as love.
“Did he … did he hurt you?” Taylor asked.
I shook my head again. “How important is it for you to know?”
Taylor thought about it for a moment. “I want to know.”
I turned away from him. I didn’t want to see his face. “He was my teacher, my coach, in high school. He’s married. She knows he cheated but not that it was with a student. She doesn’t know about Olive.”
“Jesus, Falyn. He just left you to deal with it on your own?”
“No. He offered to pay for what he called a solution. I missed the appointment. And the one after that. I never thought he’d leave his wife for me. I never wanted him to. I still don’t know why I did it.”
“Because you were a kid. Because you had a shitty relationship with your father. There are a dozen excuses.”
“There are no excuses. I made choices, and now, I’m living with them.”
“But you don’t have to live with them alone.” Taylor wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight, and buried his face into my hair.
“After today, I’ll be okay. I can let her go on my terms.”
“Just tell me what you need from me—space, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold on to …”
“Probably all of the above,” I said, pulling his arms in toward me until he hugged me to him.