Finding nothing in the diary so far, she reminded herself to find out who this Pack Leader was later.
As she carried on reading, she saw there were a lot of pages about Nik. Some pages she swept over, blushing profusely. She thought it was disrespectful to read all the intimate moments between her sister and her lover. And he was her lover. There was no doubt about that. She raised a brow at the thought then focused her daydreaming eyes on the page she'd been unconsciously reading. Her eyes widened when she realized it was a pretty detailed account of sex between the two. She slammed the book shut glancing at the closed door as if she'd been caught doing something very naughty and then giggled quietly to herself with her hand clamped over her mouth. When she regained her composure, she brushed her fingers through her hair and blew air out her cheeks. She hugged her knees to her chest and glanced to her side at the blue book.
Just then, Edda called her for dinner. Jaz peered at the bedside table clock, surprised to find it was already six o'clock. She slid off the bed, tucked the book under the mattress and sauntered left down the hallway, through the doorway into the kitchen.
The smell of blood and meat nearly choked her. It was revolting and yet, mouth-watering. She was getting sick of the double feelings.
The primal side that she'd only recently been introduced to was threatening to unleash itself. She forced herself to hold still, not seeing the kitchen or Edda as the woman placed the food down in front of her on the breakfast bar.
She held her breath, then slowly, breathed in. Then out. Then in. She let the scent pour into her nostrils. It entered her lungs and then escaped again. She could feel the monster inside being slowly chained up. She held it there, daring it to break free. It snarled inside of her. She knew it was a part of her and she needed to control it. For now, she was safe.
She looked up at Edda as she stood reluctantly behind her bar stool.
“Well, come sit,” Edda encouraged as she opened her hand out to the food.
It was then that Jaz observed the sight of it for the first time. There were two plates piled high with steaks 'cooked' rare. It was still bloody and pink. Jaz had a mental image of it getting up and jumping off the plate. She nearly burst into another fit of giggles. On top of her sordid reading, the strong meaty smell made her feel giddy and lightheaded.
She sat down on the bar stool before she fell down, staring with wide eyes at the tower of meat. There was an oven dish with roast potatoes, another bowl with green beans and peas, and another with carrots and parsnips. Now, it smelled sensational.
But if Edda expected her to eat all of it, she was dreaming.
“Are we expecting the whole village for dinner?” Jaz asked with raised brows.
Edda grinned. “Funny.”
“You can't expect me to eat all that? My arteries will clog up before I can finish it.”
“This is what you should be having.”
“I'll be the size of a house within a week!”
Edda rolled her wide brown eyes. “I've got a plan all worked out for you, starting tomorrow.”
Jaz glanced up from her plate. “What's happening tomorrow?”
“You'll be working hard, like the rest of us. And you'll soon have a fitness regime. Trust me, after that, you won't be worrying about putting on any weight, other than muscle.”
Jaz watched her uneasily.
“Now eat up, or I'll double it.”
Jaz obeyed and rather than chomping it all down like a part of her really wanted to, she ate slowly and chewed more times than was necessary before swallowing. It meant she felt full quicker, but she persevered.
When she managed to finish her monstrous portion, she leant back in her chair and held her swollen stomach. The image of her nightmare came back to her. Her belly had been swollen then, but with a lifeless child.
Edda dragged her out of her dark thoughts. “I'm really proud of you.”
Jaz looked up and responded with a feeble smile.
Edda asked, “Room for dessert?”
Jaz's face lit up as she laughed.
“Take that as a no?” Edda smirked.
“Hmmm...Maybe later.”
~Chapter 20 - Scatter~
Saturday May 28th, 11:48 p.m
Library
“What do you want?”
“She's been moved to a cabin.”
The young man rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know that. The whole community knows that! Tell me something useful!” he hissed. He then sighed and asked calmly, “She hasn't had any attacks?”
“No.”
“What about Lora? What does she know about her?”
“Just what Maria told her,” his contact replied with a shrug.
“Is there anything she didn't tell us at the council meeting?”
The contact shook his head. “I don't know for sure,” he replied, sweeping his calloused hand over his very short hair.