From the moment Jaz was in her new bedroom, she sat on the bed and began reading her dead sister's diary.
It was upsetting and eerie to read the words of a dead person. Especially when she wrote about a baby that had felt like Jaz's. That Jaz had grieved for when she'd 'lost' it. Now she knew for sure the baby in the nightmare was Lora's. And for some very terrifying yet strangely comforting reason, she and Jaz had been bound together during Lora's last breaths.
She opened the diary to the last page Lora had written.
Fri, Jan 15th 2010.
I have an odd feeling. You know that feeling you get when the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end? Like something is very, very wrong? That's the best way I can describe how I feel right now.
I know I've been going through all these difficulties with Fraya
Jaz scrunched her forehead. Who's Fraya?
but I have a feeling that something bad might be about to happen.
She's always been offensive and rude towards me. Always giving me grief. But she's suddenly changed, as if she's waiting for something. Like today, she's given me the same look. It's unnerving.
All it reminds me of is the look someone gives their enemy when they have a plan brewing and it's beginning to come to fruition.
She's always been jealous of me. She's always wanted what I have. And she hates that I got it so easily when she's struggled and still hasn't succeeded. She even lost her mate. I feel for her. I felt for her more before than I do now, but after all this stress she's put me through, I can't defend her reasons anymore.
She's always wanted Nik. But he's mine.
“Nik.” Jaz frowned at the name on the lined paper. “Nik?” She'd never heard of anyone called Nik. But he had obviously been very close to Lora.
Maybe he was the father? Maria never said though... Jaz bit her lip at that realization. And this Fraya had been jealous of Lora? That made her gut turn cold.
Something was wrong about this. She knew what her fear was trying to say but she shut the thought out. “No.”
She noticed that Lora was much more mature than Jaz. She had a grown-up, eloquent way of writing. And she didn't seem to swear. Jaz felt a little embarrassed about that.
She thought about her sister's last words. But he's mine.
Lora was strong-willed, defiant and it sounded as if she spoke with absolute conviction. Jaz suddenly felt low. She wished she could feel that way about someone. And that they would feel the same for her. It made her even more upset that Lora had lost all that love so tragically.
Another thing she realized with a gasp, was the date of the last entry: it was the day before Jaz's nightmare. It confirmed everything she knew was impossible and yet it had really happened. When Lora had been dying, when she'd lost her baby, Jaz had been there, not physically but in spirit or the nearest thing to it. Jaz wondered what would have happened if she had been awake at the time. Would it have flashed in front of her eyes like a hallucination? She remembered the sudden image of the terrifying dark face when she'd been standing inside the public toilets at the petrol station and shivered.
That day felt like a millennium ago. It was the last time I'd spoken to Lisa, she recalled, and pain seared through her chest. She had to ask Maria or Driver again to allow her to speak to her family and friends. She'd beg if she had to.
She snapped out of her thoughts and continued to flick through pages, starting from the first entry, scanning for Nik's name.
The first entry dated from two months before Lora found out she was pregnant. May 23rd 2010.
There were lots of mention of Fraya, two girls called Sunhild and Kenna; another called Kelda who Jaz found out was Kenna's younger sister. There was no mention of their ages or any details on them. Jaz wondered if there was another diary somewhere with more information on the people at Deer Creek. Lora had obviously been there long enough before this diary to write who was who.
Edda was also mentioned. She hadn't been Lora's Carer and that surprised Jaz. Other names were mentioned too but she scanned through them; the only two she paid more attention to were Garik, her uncle -who she still hadn't met and didn't care to meet either- and someone called Arik, who sounded like a pretty important guy. Maybe he's the Pack Leader? she wondered. Her brow furrowed. Maria and Skye never said what his name was. Is it supposed to be a secret? Maybe it's because they don't trust me.
When Edda had said she had been chosen to be her Carer by the Pack Leader, Jaz had been too stunned by the term to ask who it was. After all the books she'd read -Charlaine Harris, Kelley Armstrong to name a few- she associated the term with werewolves. That horrified her beyond belief. She'd silently laughed it off as she finished her sandwich and got up to put her plate in the sink. She'd thought, Oh come on, werewolves? Seriously? If I'm a werewolf then pigs fly. She had then eyed the sky out the window momentarily before blinking and shaking her head at her stupidity.