The ride back to my dorm was quiet. The radio was turned to the ’90s channel, volume low. It was still early in the night, but I had to keep covering my mouth with my hand. So much had happened today. So much had changed in the last three days. There was a bone-deep weariness in my core. I glanced over at Jase, his striking profile dark. Extreme giddiness swept through me when I realized that Jase and I . . . well, we were together. He was my boyfriend. There was a label, and I felt like I was seconds from breaking into a fit of giggles like I was thirteen.
Sadness snapped on the heels of the happiness, and I returned my gaze to the passenger window. I closed my eyes against the sudden burn. I couldn’t dance anymore. The loss of something that had been so important to me was like a dark shadow creeping over everything else. It had been this way during dinner. I’d feel happy. I’d smile and laugh and then I’d remember what I lost today.
All my plans. My goals. My hopes. My future. All gone.
I didn’t want to focus on the crap part of my life, but pushing it out of my head was hard, and those thoughts lingered in the recesses of my mind.
Jase rode the elevator up with me at the dorm, took my key card, and opened the door to my suite. He stepped inside, flipping on the light so I didn’t slam my crutches into anything. As usual, the door to our suitemates’ room was closed. On the dry-erase board by the desk, there was a note from Debbie with today’s date, saying she was spending the night at Erik’s.
“Do you want to stay?” I blushed because it sounded like an invite for some bow-chicka-bow-wow. Not that I was entirely against that, but standing there with crutches didn’t make me feel sexy. “I mean, you’re welcome to hang out.”
Welcome to hang out? God, I sounded like an idiot.
Jase grinned as he sauntered in. “There’s really no other place I’d rather be.”
My lips split into a wide smile, and I turned before he could see how obviously happy that made me. “Be right back.”
Leaving the crutches in the corner, I carefully gathered up my nightclothes and bath stuff. I changed into a pair of cotton sleep pants and a shirt, forgoing the bra. The shirt was black, so it didn’t show much. I left the brace on and quickly washed my face. After pulling down my ponytail, I ran a brush through my hair and then returned to my room.
Jase had made himself comfortable on my narrow bed. Stretched out on his back, the remote control to the TV that sat on our dresser rested on his flat stomach. He’d even kicked his shoes off. Seeing him there caused a flutter deep in my belly, which only increased when he patted the spot next to him.
“Should you be walking around without the crutches?” he asked.
Ignoring the ache in my knee, I slowly made my way over to him and sat. “It’s not that big of a distance. Besides, these rooms are too small to use crutches.”
He settled on the ID channel and then rolled onto his side, dropping the remote onto the nightstand. He cupped his hand around my elbow and tugged as he peered up at me through thick, dark lashes. “Lie down with me?”
How in the world could I resist that request? With him on his side, I was able to lie on my back beside him. The moment my head touched the pillow, he smiled in a way that made my toes curl.
“How you doing?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
“Understandable.” He scooped up the strands of my hair, brushing them back from my face. “You’ve had a lot going on today—the last couple of days.”
“Yeah. My head is going in different directions.” My chest rose sharply as he traced the outline of my lower lip with his thumb. “Everything feels different now.”
“Does it?”
I nodded and then stilled as his hand drifted down the valley between my breasts and then stopped just below them. Sharp tingles followed his hand, and the tips of my breasts tightened. I knew he noticed because his gaze dipped, and he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. His lashes swept up, and our gazes locked.
He curved his hand around my ribs. “You talking about us or . . . ?”
“Both,” I whispered.
His gaze traveled over my face, lingering on my lips. Heat moved from my belly and seemed to pool between my thighs. There was a moment where the only sound was my pounding heart and the low hum from the TV. “It’s going to be okay.”
I smiled as I placed my hand over his. “I know.”
“About us. The difference? Good or bad?”
“Good. Very good.”
He tipped his head down and brushed his lips over my forehead. A shiver coursed over my skin. “We’re going to have to do better than good.”
“We are?”
“Uh-huh,” he murmured, and then he kissed me.
There was something different about this kiss. Maybe it was because it was taking place in my bed or it was our first real kiss after our conversation. Or maybe it was something else. Either way, he sipped from my lips, drank from my mouth. The kiss went on forever as he tasted and explored. I never knew it was possible for a kiss to be so powerful, but it was.
“How about that?” he asked, a slight tremble running up his arm as his lips brushed mine.