chapter Four
WILLIAM “LIAM” VAN der Meer was like a force of nature, a hurricane of energy and destruction no one could stop. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. He breezed in to Colin’s condo like he owned the place. His tie had been removed and he’d undone the first few buttons of his dress shirt.
The man was sex on a stick with his brown hair interspersed with subtle blond streaks, killer sky blue eyes and a body made for sin. It was obvious he worked out and although he was tall and built, he was definitely more Alexander Skarsgård fused with Ian Somerhalder. Obviously unlike us two slackers, he had a high-powered job and decided a trip to his brother’s would be the best way to unwind.
They both walked into the patio area and took seats cater-corner to me. “Liam, I would like you to meet my traveling partner to Europe, Deirdre Bardot. Deirdre, this is my wayward older brother, Liam.”
I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.” I licked my lips self-consciously. “I am definitely thinking he should not be introduced to Caitlyn as she would tear you alive.”
Liam and Colin exchanged cryptic glances before his brother managed to give me some attention again. “Actually, I am familiar with Caitlyn Bardot though I can’t say I know her personally. We have met one another at various functions when all the top businesses in Washington State decide to hold the annual pow-wow.”
“Oh?”
“I guess my brother didn’t tell you.” Liam winked lasciviously. Although I found him very sexually attractive, I quickly realized Colin was more of my type. I liked his quiet nature and although he wasn’t as aggressively handsome as his brother, he possessed a wholesome quality about him Liam officially lacked. “I am one of the founders of uConnect—heard of ‘em?”
“I’d have to be dead not to.” I swigged from my beer just as Colin handed one to Liam. “You’re giving Facebook a run for their money.”
“Well, we don’t plan to take the company public and to be honest, we want to be the perfect combination of Facebook and Klout. Friends and business associates can connect with one another, chat, form groups but at the same time, someone who is part of uConnect receives a score on how influential they are on certain topics, subjects, and areas of expertise. It will be the perfect tool for everything: friends, business connections, dating—you name it, we want to do it,” he explained in an excited manner.
I nodded my head in an almost absent-minded way. I wanted to hear more about Liam’s company and I wanted to spend more time in Colin’s presence but I felt myself growing tired. Without meaning to, I openly yawned as they began to discuss a subject I had very little interest in.
Colin looked over at me and smiled before he whispered something to his brother.
“Come on, you. We have a lot to discuss and it is more than obvious it isn’t going to be discussed tonight. Why don’t you go lay down in the guest bedroom. I will show you where everything is,” he explained as he stood and guided me out of the patio area.
“What about Liam? I don’t want him to feel put out. He seems like he really wants to talk to you—”
“Listen, there was an ulterior motive for me buying into this building. Liam is just a few floors up on the thirty-seventh floor. Believe me, the man never gets too drunk he can’t wander back to his place. Lay down, rest and when I get rid of him, we can talk for a while, okay?”
I nodded my head and allowed him to walk me to a very nice and open guest bedroom which was completely equipped for all my needs. The bedroom nestled in the corner of the condo and was quite a distance from the master bedroom but both contained walk-in bathrooms and closets.
The furniture was all beautiful and cold. Steel, black and Chinese red seemed to dominate the color scheme but somehow, it all worked. I walked past the black Persian rug and lay on the silk comforter which was a deep red. There was a large forty-two inch flat screen television mounted to the wall and I turned it on if just for background noise. I quickly channel-surfed, caught the beginning of an episode of Sons of Anarchy and smiled at the hotness that was Charlie Hunnam.
Once the show ended, I turned off the television and slipped out of my clothes until I wore nothing except my bra and panties. It was a chilly night so I was grateful for the temperate warmth of the bedroom. It wasn’t icy cold but it wasn’t overly warm either; in fact it was perfect for curling underneath silk sheets and a matching comforter.
I thought about how the day had gone and it wasn’t long before I began to ponder my meeting with Colin. He was a great guy, good looking, rich and seemed to have his shit together. We hadn’t gone into our high school years yet or even university but he seemed like a stand-up guy.
It didn’t take a genius for me to realize I would eventually have to stop living behind Drew. He was my best friend but he also deserved happiness as I did and it wasn’t fair to deprive him of that because I was afraid of being alone or not finding anyone who even resembled the “one”.
Perhaps with him being my first love, it kind of spoiled the whole mystique or maybe my standards were set impossibly high. I certainly was no prize, professional student that I was with a wall of degrees but no real job skills. I wasn’t hopeless of course. If worse came to worse, I could easily find a job at one of the big time companies here in Seattle or if I wanted to do something more noble, I would have absolutely no problem finding a teaching position at one of the local private schools.
My life was my own to live but since my father was gone, it seemed like I had given up and didn’t want to rejoin the living though I knew I had to eventually. It just wasn’t healthy or normal not to want to do anything with one’s life beside pursue degree after degree as a coping mechanism for not having to start “real life”.
I closed my eyes, only to rest them for a moment. Although I could have sworn it was only for a few minutes, when I felt the weight of a body and Colin touched the comforter lightly, I jumped up. I should have had more modesty as I wore my cute Victoria’s Secret bra which really gave the illusion of major cleavage which I didn’t have but I immediately took a defensive position. I pulled my knees towards my body and wrapped my arms around my calves.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Did I wake you? We can talk in the morning if you like?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m okay. Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping very well and I assure you my bed at home is just as soft and comfortable. I’m glad you insisted I stay though because if we’re going to Europe together then we have to set some ground rules.”
Colin’s crystal blue eyes never changed as he smirked and scooted closer to me in bed. “Ground rules, huh? Why can’t you stop being such a controlling chick for a moment and go with the flow? Why can’t we take this at a relaxing pace? We aren’t doing National Lampoon’s European Vacation and there is absolutely no rush. I’m more than happy just exploring city centers and walking into museums or parks that take our fancy. I thought you might like that too.”
My hands raced through my thick silky hair and I breathed deeply. “Listen, I like to be as impromptu as the next person but I also like to have a plan written down just in case. No one said we can’t deviate from the plan but it is never a bad idea to know what you expect out of a vacation.”
Colin glared at me in irritation before he lay out on his stomach beside me and sighed. “Fine, plans and ground rules…me, personally, I usually just go with the flow and I have always been that way. Probably why I used to get into all kinds of trouble with a big brother like Liam.”
I laughed out loud at this revelation. “Liam used to get you in trouble? First off, who is the professional who has the world by the balls and who is the loser brother wasting a perfectly good MBA from Harvard here? You can try to hide all you want but working at a coffee shop and a bar doesn’t make you a better person than that thieving grandfather of yours. So you gave away a bunch of money to assuage your conscience but do you ever plan to use that degree or is it just something you have to decorate the walls of this amazingly expensive condo?”
“Wow. You’re one to talk. You and I—we’re not that different and you know it. So you volunteer at a soup kitchen slash halfway house for abused women but why don’t you become a counselor and you know, get paid for what you do. It’s not like you’re hurting for money either so what stops you from moving on and wanting to live like a young, productive adult?”
He had me there. Nothing at all was stopping me and perhaps that’s what made my situation so very frustrating to me, my sister and my mother. We all knew I had to be suffering some sort of deep seated inertia. The fear of moving on because if I did then I would eventually forget my father the same way I’d forgotten my real mom and then what would I have? Nothing except the present. No past, no real family except my half-sister but could I see myself in a relationship which could lead to a husband and children?
It was a scary proposition because I didn’t feel grounded myself. How could I possibly be a good mother when I was a mess myself? My life was a disaster area. Yes, I was educated and wealthy but other than that, I almost felt like I didn’t have a legitimate reason to complain. Not like some of the women I met in the halfway house who had nothing and yet they were slowly picking up the pieces of their ruined lives.
Woe is me lived again and I felt the tears as they began to fall from my eyes. I knew Colin would misinterpret them and he did. He thought he’d caused me to cry and immediately, he sat up and took me in his arms. His embrace was warm and he smelled delicious, like a mixture of a freshly washed body, expensive cologne and just a hint of something smoky. Not cigarette smoke because for someone who indulged, I had yet to sniff the reek of stale smoke on his skin or his clothing.
“Hey, come on, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I can be a real dick sometimes. It’s my past rearing its ugly head when I was the king of one night stands and treated women like shit. I’m not proud of my behavior and although I was a total misogynist, I still loved and respected my mother. I couldn’t quite understand how some women had so little regard for their bodies that they would give it up so willingly for a little spending cash and maybe a trinket or two.”
He breathed deeply against my neck and I wondered if he was trying to smell my perfume or inhale a part of me. “I knew you were different from the moment we met but…I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries. I know about the relationship you have with Drew and he loves you…a lot. Too much. I would hazard to say he’s still in love with you and if he could, he’d make you his again in a heartbeat.”
We separated reluctantly and I wiped my tears away with the palms of my hands. “That’s not gonna happen. I guess a part of me is in love with Drew too but we’re not meant to be together. I love him because he was my first love and the first…and only man…I have ever shared my body with but he and I—it can’t happen again.”
Colin gave me a look that made those gorgeous crystal blue eyes of his sparkle. “Have you told him all this because when he gets drunk…the times I have seen him out of control which are few and far between, he moved out here to be with you. There is still a part of him that wants you two to get married and have a couple of kiddies.”
“I don’t even know if I want kids and he knows that. We’ve just been best friends for a really long time and God knows if I could…change the course of action, I would but…” I trailed off as my Android phone began to dissipate the awkward silence with the very raunchy “S&M” by Rihanna.
Shit, it was Aubrey, and I needed to hear from her like I needed an extra f*cking head. I quickly leaned over, grabbed my phone and answered before the chorus was over with a curt, “Hello?”
“Hey, sweets, how are you?” she wondered out loud.
There was a slight slur to her speech so I knew she was drunk which wasn’t anything new.
“Nothing much. What is it?”
“I’m kinda stranded at the Last Supper Club and I was really hopin’ you could pick me up?”
“Wait a minute—if you’re stranded does that mean you don’t have a place to stay?”
“Um, duh?”
“What about Stacy?”
“That f*cking bitch! You know I caught her and Brandon in bed together. Not that I was paying my rent anyway but do you think if your supposed ‘loaded’ boyfriend is taking care of the rent, it gives him first dibs to screw your roommate too?” she ranted angrily.
“I wouldn’t know as I am still living with Drew and we each pay our own rent,” I replied in a crisp tone.
“Yeah, I know. How is Drew by the way? Is he looking for a girlfriend?”
“I don’t think so—as a matter of fact, he mentioned some hot guy at work he is dying to get to know a little bit better. Colin, I think his name is.”
Colin’s eyes widened to saucers before he slapped my left thigh playfully. It didn’t hurt the least bit but the heat it sent through the silk sheet wasn’t a good thing. His swat had been a little too near my aching sex which hadn’t seen any action in over three months and I was totally feeling the absence.
“That’s cool. Listen, I just need a place to crash for a while. If you can talk to Drew…”
“Listen, we’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Can you please wait outside? I don’t want to have to troll that f*cking club looking for your ass.”
Aubrey sighed in annoyance. “Sure, fine. I am in a dress that hits me just below my ass and it isn’t exactly one hundred degrees outside. Just phone me when you get here and I’ll make my way down, okay?”
“Fine.” I ended the call and threw my phone down on the bed before my hands went directly to my hair to hold it out of my face.
Every time it looked like I was about to get a handle on my life, my life seemed to throw a curveball which always seemed to manhandle me. Do people ever grow up? Of course they don’t. We, as a species, didn’t grow up, we just got older and no one was a better example of this phenomenon than Aubrey Gault.