At Peace

I was again whispering when I said, “No.”


“I fucked you when you were drunk, not that drunk, buddy, but I’ll admit, you were drunk. And I fucked you on the hood of my car. But you walked across your yard to get to me twice. How does any of that translate into a promise from me?”

“You didn’t promise me anything, Joe,” I told him and realized then he didn’t.

“So what’s your fuckin’ problem?”

“I don’t have one.” Or at least I didn’t anymore.

I had read something into it just because of some reflex action he had when I told him I had to go, when he’d called me baby and when he made some mention about me not wearing shoes. That was it and there was nothing there except what I was so sad and lonely I twisted into something I wanted to see. He’d given no indication that it was anything more than what he said it was.

Just sex.

“Yeah you do,” Joe clipped.

I shook my head. “No, really, I don’t.”

“Bullshit.”

“I don’t.”

“I’m not gonna be a dick to your daughters because you tell me to and I’m not gonna put up with your shit because you read somethin’ into what happened.”

“Okay,” I agreed quickly.

“I don’t need to walk out of my house and run into your wall of attitude.”

“You won’t,” I promised.

“You’re standin’ there tremblin’, scared outta your fuckin’ skull even though I’d never fuckin’ hurt you, tellin’ me what I wanna hear. How do I believe you?”

“Um…” I treaded cautiously but pointed out, “You did kind of drag me to your house in the middle of the night.”

“We need to work this shit out,” he stated in a way that made it clear that he thought dragging me to his house was a perfectly natural thing to do.

“We could have maybe done it over coffee or something,” I carefully suggested an alternative.

“Yeah? Last four times I spoke to you, you acted like a bitch, told me to fuck off, told me you hated me, you gonna have coffee with me now?”

“I make pancakes every Sunday morning, you’re welcome to come over,” I offered.

I didn’t actually want him to come over, I wanted him to let my arm go and I wanted to get the fuck out of there.

“Don’t be scared of me, Violet,” he warned.

“That’s kind of hard when you’re bein’ scary, Joe,” I explained.

When I told him this, instantly he let me go and stepped back.

Then he growled, “Go home.”

I just stood there, staring at him in the dark.

Then hesitantly, sounding stupid, I asked, “Are you coming over for pancakes?”

“Yeah, buddy, I’ll be over to your house for fuckin’ pancakes,” he clipped, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m sure you can’t wait.”

“Joe –”

“Go home.”

“Joe –”

“Go home, Violet.”

“I kind of need my remote,” I whispered.

He didn’t move so I did, taking a cautious step toward him my hand lifted, palm up. He didn’t put the remote in my hand. Instead, he tossed it into a chair and then I was in his arms and his mouth had slammed down on mine.

I shouldn’t have let it happen, I knew that, but I did.

And I did because firstly, I was fucking thrilled he wanted to kiss me. Secondly, because this time I knew the rules to his game. And lastly, and most importantly, I loved him kissing me. I’d been hungry for it for weeks and having it back, I was going to take it.

The first time we had sex, it was a battle which he won.

This time, it was war.

I didn’t know if it was the last time I’d have him. The times before, he let me take a little but most of the time Joe took what he wanted from me.

Now I was going to get what I wanted.

We didn’t even make it to the bedroom. We were too busy with our hands and mouths, both colliding as they touched, tasted, explored and pulled off clothes. It was going fast and Joe was losing because I was determined. Therefore Joe took advantage, hooked an arm around my waist, shoved my lower body to the side and tagged me with a calf behind my knees which immediately buckled. I went down but he controlled my fall so I didn’t crash to the floor. Then his body covered mine and I lost the advantage.

“My turn,” I panted into his ear, my hand wrapped around his hard cock as his hand curled around my breast. “I want you on your back.”

“Next go,” Joe growled back and his finger and thumb rolled my nipple.

My back arched as that shot straight through me but I didn’t give up.

“Joe, my turn.”

He pinched my nipple and that felt so fucking good, my entire body bucked.

“Baby, you can have me next go.”

“Joe –”

“I’m gonna fuck you in a minute. We don’t have time for you to play.”

That sounded good to me so I whispered, “Okay.”

His mouth came to mine and he ground his cock into my hand. I liked the feel of him, hard and big. I missed it and having him pressed into my hand made me squeeze him, the nails of my other hand dug into the muscles of his back and I mewed low.

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