At Peace

“She’ll grow out of it,” I said this hopefully rather than confidently because Kate had been into boy bands until she was around twelve then she’d switched to real bands but Keira was holding on and the bloom didn’t seem to be going off the rose.

Joe seemed okay with standing in my living room which I was not okay with so I suggested, “Don’t you have to go put your feet up?”

Then he made a mistake.

His mistake was asking, “Am I invited to dinner tomorrow night?”

Seeing as the last time I asked him to dinner I was naked in his bed thinking that we were starting something good and he told me he was done with me, I decided that invitation wouldn’t be voiced twice. My girls could do it then I could renege on it. This was my right since he fucked me over. He might have put in a killer security system but I didn’t ask for it so I didn’t owe him shit.

Therefore I answered, “No.”

His eyes never left my face when he muttered, “I didn’t think so.”

“You wanna be involved in this shit, your call,” I told him quietly so the girls wouldn’t hear. “Anytime you wanna back out, that’s your call too.” Joe didn’t reply, he just kept looking at me, so I decided to finish it. “And I’d appreciate it, you didn’t make friends with my girls, it isn’t cool.”

“Not me makin’ friends with them,” Joe pointed out.

“Then it’ll be you who discourages them from doin’ it.”

“Not gonna be an asshole to your daughters.”

“You had no problem bein’ an asshole to their Mom,” I reminded him.

I watched him go from annoyed to angry. He got close, both his body to mine and his face in mine and his voice went low.

“Gotta admit, I regretted it, your mouth is sweet, other parts of you sweeter,” he told me. “The way you behaved since, buddy, figure I saved myself a world of hassle. You can be a bitch.”

I felt my body get tight but I inched my face closer to his and spoke as low as he did. “Thank you for your service, Joe, you can go now.”

“There it is,” Joe muttered, “the bitch.”

“I can’t believe you,” I hissed. “You’re in my living room callin’ me a bitch.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re actin’ like one.”

“Then I suggest you save yourself the hassle and leave.”

He didn’t move, he stayed in my face and his voice was even lower when he said in that way where he sounded like he was talking to himself, “Wonder if it’d be worth it.”

“What?”

“Breakin’ you.”

I blinked then I repeated, “What?”

He didn’t hesitate handing me his utterly unbelievable response. “Turnin’ you over my knee, spankin’ that ass of yours until you break and let go of the bitch.”

I felt my breath catch as my stomach both hollowed out and twisted into a knot.

“What?” I hissed.

“Might not be worth it but it’d be fun doin’ it.”

I clenched my teeth and said through them, “Get out.”

He didn’t get out. His big hand came up and curled over my hair at the back of my neck and he brought my face even closer, to within an inch of his. It was so close I could feel his breath on my lips but all I could see was his clear blue eyes which were staring right into mine.

“Make you beg me to stop,” he muttered. “Make you do anything to make me stop, promise to let go of the bitch and be nothin’ but sweet to me.”

“Take your hand off me,” I whispered because, even though his words were pissing me off, for some insane reason I really wanted to kiss him. I wanted this so much my mouth was dry and my body hurt from holding it away from the heat of his.

“Play with you while I do it, make you squirm at the same time I make you beg.”

My stomach unknotted, I felt wetness rush between my legs and it took everything I had not to move into him.

“Joe –”

The minute I said his name, his hand tightened on my neck almost like a reflex action.

“Yeah,” he whispered and I held my breath, not understanding what his “yeah” meant but the way he said it made it sound like it meant something important then he muttered his own name, “Joe.”

My eyes dropped to his mouth and I started to lean into him because I couldn’t hold back anymore. I had to kiss him, put my hands on him or that hollowed feeling was going to start eating out my insides.

But he let me go, I went forward on a foot and righted myself in time to see him disappear through my front door.

“I hate you,” I whispered to the door and I meant it, even though my body, nipples hard, tingles between my legs, every inch of skin electrified, felt something else.

It wasn’t until much later, when I was in bed, the girls were asleep and I’d put aside my vibrator after a lackluster orgasm that I realized I’d never asked Joe how he knew Daniel Hart.

*

The screeching woke me.

Cory was home.

This happened a lot, Tina screeching at Cory. It was usually during daytime hours but it wasn’t unusual for it to happen at night.

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