At Peace

“Didn’t you think maybe you should share that with me?”


“Um… I thought I did.”

He kissed me lightly then his mouth went away but not far away when he said, “Woulda remembered that, buddy.”

“But, I gave up Mike and you’re moved in.”

“Yeah. So?”

“With me and the girls.”

He didn’t say, “Yeah. So?” again, he let his silence say it.

“Doesn’t that say it all?” I asked. “I mean, I wouldn’t let just any guy move in with me and the girls. I’m not like that. He’d have to mean something to me, like you do.”

I felt his body relax into mine before he asked quietly, “When did you know?”

“What?”

“That you loved me, when did you know?”

I felt my temperature decrease and my hand slid up his back and into his hair. “I don’t know. I just knew,” I answered softly.

“Vi –” he said my name on a gentle warning.

Quickly, to get it out because, being Joe he wasn’t going to let it go and when I said it, it was going to make me sound stupid, I told him. “When you said, ‘Baby, you aren’t wearing any shoes’ that second night we were together at your house.”

Immediately, he replied, “I knew you were the one when you were standin’ in my living room, wearing those stupid-ass boots, your nightie and that ratty robe.”

“That was the night we first met.”

“Yep.”

I was the one for Joe and he knew it the first night we met.

He knew I was the one. The one. The one.

And he knew it the first night we met.

I felt tears sting my eyes and my other arm wrapped tight around him.

“Joe,” I whispered.

His mouth came to mine again as his hands lifted my legs to wrap them around his hips and he whispered back, “I love you, baby.” I felt my breath hitch and the tears slid out the sides of my eyes but he wasn’t done. “And I’m not fuckin’ movin’ out.”

“Okay,” I replied instantly.

I felt him smile against my mouth then I felt his hand slide into my panties to cup my ass then he kissed me and, after that, he made love to me. He took his time, he let me take mine and it was better than any other time before.

So that was saying something.

*

After, Joe called, “Vi?”

“Yeah, baby?” I said into his chest.

“Move the mortgage and utilities, yeah?”

I sucked in breath then said, “Maybe we should –”

“Move ‘em.”

“Joe –”

His hand slid into my hair, fisted and he tilted my head back as he lifted his and dipped his chin.

“Not gonna say it again, baby,” he said softly.

“I’ve got more on my scales,” I whispered in reply.

His fist unclenched and his hand cupped the back of my head as he asked, “What?”

“You keep unbalancing the scales, giving me more. It’s not fair.”

He was silent a second then he asked quietly, “You shittin’ me?”

I shook my head.

His other arm went around me and he pulled me up his chest until I was face to face with him.

Then he spoke.

“Since I could remember, all I wanted was a family. My Mom died, my Dad lost it and I’d go to Aunt Theresa and Uncle Vinnie’s house, bein’ with their family, a family that was loud and in your business which part of the time was annoying as hell but the rest of the time it just felt good because they were that way because they gave a shit. And I wanted that. My Dad was so deep in his grief he lost his way and he forgot to give a shit so I never had that, not at home. I got older and that changed and all I wanted was a good woman and a family. All my life, with a slight variation on theme, that’s all I ever wanted. Buddy, you’ve given me both. You think, givin’ me that, I could ever balance those scales?”

I didn’t say anything, couldn’t, because I was crying.

Joe wrapped his arms around me, rolled us to our sides and held me while I did it. Once I stopped crying, his hand came up and he dried my tears with his thumb.

Then he whispered, “Move the mortgage and utilities, yeah?”

“Okay, Joe.”

He tucked my face in his throat and he was still whispering when he said, “Love you, buddy.”

“Love you too, Joe.”

“Sleep.”

“Okay. ‘Night, honey.”

“’Night, baby.”

I lay in his arms and thought I’d been lucky, getting pregnant at seventeen by the love of my life. I’d even known I was lucky all those years I had Tim.

Until I lost the love of my life.

And here I was, with all the shit that had gone down, finding myself just that lucky again.

I cuddled closer to Joe Callahan then I fell asleep.

*

I didn’t have a nightmare that night.

I slept the whole night through like a log, didn’t wake up once.

*

Wednesday went by mostly without incident.

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