“All right, everyone, that’s it for today.” Dean glances at the clock and puts down his pointer. “Remember your bibliographies are due on Friday. Review session for the essays is tomorrow, so bring any final questions.”
Noise and voices fill the hall as the students gather their things and shove books into their backpacks. A line of students forms in front of Dean’s podium, and he patiently answers one question after another.
I wait until all the students have filed from the room, leaving a hush in the air. Alone now, Dean turns off the podium light and collects his notes and papers.
I stand. My chair squeaks as the seat flips back into place. Dean looks up and watches me walk down to him.
“Great lecture,” I remark.
“What are you doing here?” He puts a stack of folders into his briefcase.
“I called Aunt Stella this morning. I thought I’d visit her for a few days.”
He stops. “Why?”
“Well.” I shove my hands into my coat pockets and clear my throat. “I think… you know… it’s tough right now, and we could use some time apart.”
Irritation flashes in his eyes. “How do you think time apart is going to help?”
“I don’t know that it will,” I admit. “But being together is pretty lousy these days, don’t you think?”
Dean snaps his briefcase closed. “How long will you be gone?”
“A few days. I already asked Allie for the weekend off. I was thinking of coming back on Tuesday.”
“I don’t like the idea of you driving all that way alone.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll call you along the way.” I pause. “Okay?”
He doesn’t look as if it’s the least bit okay, but he gives a short nod. “Do what you want, Liv.”
I struggle against a wave of annoyance. “What I want is for us to figure this out. And maybe one of us can come up with a way to do that if we’re apart.”
The door slams open. Dean and I turn to see a young man hurrying down the steps.
“Sorry, Professor West, I forgot to ask you about a source for my paper.” He dumps his backpack on the table and digs through the pile of books and papers inside.
I step back, my gaze on Dean. I want to tell him I love him. He looks as if he wants to say more too, but instead turns his attention to the student.
I leave. Fifteen minutes later, I’m on the highway heading toward Aunt Stella’s. I don’t really want to visit her, but frankly I have nowhere else to go.
That’s a very sobering thought.
It was a long time before I first took Dean to meet Aunt Stella. In late October of my first year with him, Stella called to ask me if I could come back to Castleford to help with a church rummage sale one weekend.
I had work and a bunch of studying to do, but I agreed to help her because Aunt Stella and her husband Henry had given me a place to stay after I left my mother. No matter what else happened, I would remember that.
So I got someone to cover my shifts at Jitter Beans and planned to leave early Saturday morning.
Dean offered to come with me that weekend, but I declined. I wasn’t ready for him to meet Aunt Stella yet. I didn’t want to share him with anyone.
“Be careful on the road,” he said as he put my travel bag in the trunk of my car. “And call me when you get in. Got your cell charged?”
I nodded. Part of me was a little insulted by his fussing—I’d been on my own for years and done just fine, thanks—but a larger part of me was warmed by it.
It was nice to have someone be concerned about me. It was nice to have him be concerned about me.
He slammed the trunk and turned to fold me into his arms. “I’ll miss you, beauty.”
“I’ll miss you too.” I realized it would be the first weekend we had spent apart in the past month and a half. I hugged him around the waist, loving the feeling of his tall, strong body against mine, the scent of his soap and shaving cream. “I’ll be back tomorrow night.”
He grasped the lapels of my coat, pulling me closer, and lowered his head to kiss me. So warm and delicious. He gave my ponytail a light tug. “See you soon.”
“See you,” I echoed.
I got into my car while he stood on the sidewalk watching me, his hands in the pockets of his coat and his scarf loose around his neck. A breeze ruffled his thick hair. Looking at him, I had a sudden rush of longing. I didn’t want to leave him, not even for two days.
That scared me a little. We’d been together less than two months, hadn’t even talked much about our relationship, and already I didn’t want to be apart from him? Even after I’d spent so many years alone?
Dean lifted his hand as I started the ignition. I gave him a little wave and headed off for the almost four-hour drive, deciding I could use the weekend to try and gain some perspective.
I got on the Beltline and headed north, following the highway into farmland surrounded by tilled fields and trees stripped bare of reddish-gold leaves.